“Can you sing again?”
“I’ll sing to you forever, Bay.”
Bayleigh looks at the ceiling as I play the guitar and sing softly to her. I strum the guitar and feel the music through my fingers. Looking up, I see the worried expression on her face and the tears streaming from her eyes.
“All I can think about sometimes is what if I lost you? I don’t think I would be able to live if you were completely out of my life.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I know us not being together is causing you so much pain. I love you, Ty,” she pauses again, “It scares me. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t deserve you, and please believe me, I’ll hold you in my heart forever.”
“I know, Bay. You don’t have to tell me. I know I’m vulnerable and it’s hard. I never wanted to push you so far. You still do things to me and you always will. It scares me too.”
“So what happens now?”
“I think that we’ll stay friends forever and one day we’ll be together again. I’m not going to give up on you.”
She doesn’t say anything. Her eyes are on the ceiling. I wish she would say something, anything, to make me believe her words. The thing about Bayleigh is that she’s a people pleaser. She puts people above herself. I don’t want to believe she’s telling me this to make me feel better. Those words need to be her own.
“I like that plan,” her deep hazel eyes look at me. She turns on her side and reaches out her hand for mine.
We stay like this, holding hands, her simple touch keeping me calm. I know she can’t give me more and this is a lot for her to tell me. I’m proud of her. Keeping her emotions locked up won’t help her or anyone else. That’s why I keep reminding her about being an anchor and the reason I got it for her. As soon as I saw the bracelet in the store, I knew it had to be hers.
“Don’t forget,” I whisper, “you’re an anchor and you’ll be okay. The waves may toss you around, but you’ll find your way again.”
Waking up in the morning next to her feels good. I’m going to miss seeing her face and holding her. Even though she’s not mine, for a moment while she’s sleeping in my arms I can pretend we’re back together and we’re happy.
Then there’s the flip side. I’m getting addicted to her touch and spending every waking moment with her. I don’t think I can quit. I’m trying to see her as my friend, my best friend, but I’m dying without feeling her. I feel better with her around me. She keeps me steady and I catch her whenever she feels like falling.
“Wake up, beautiful.” She stirs in her sleep, mumbling about wanting a few more minutes. I tuck strands of her blonde hair behind her ear. “You need to get up.”
Groaning, she punches my side and rolls over, away from me. Yeah, my girl isn’t a morning person. Actually, she’s scary and if she’s woken up too soon, it’s best to stay away.
“I’m hungry,” I tell her.
“So,” she mumbles again, “you know where the kitchen is and you know my parents have food in the fridge. Go make yourself useful and leave me alone. It’s too early,” she whines and tries to push me away.
I lean in, whispering in her ear, “Get. Up. Now.”
Her body tenses at our closeness and slowly she gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom. There’s a little sway to her walk and it’s killing me. My dick wakes up and senses her ass, wanting to play, and it’s taking everything in me to stay still and calm the fuck down.
My phone rings, thank god, and it’s Joe asking if I’m going out tonight. I look at the text and think maybe I should ask her.
Me: Not sure. .What’s going on tonight?
Joe: Get together . . . Bring Bayleigh too. The girls want to see her
Me: Can’t make any promises
Joe: Use that Scott charm
Me: Haha will do
“Do you want to go out tonight?” I ask her, knowing she’ll say no. “Joe texted me and said the girls want to see you. I think it’s a good idea. End of the summer get together. We don’t have to stay out long and I promise I won’t get drunk. They want you to be there, too.”
She pops out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth and her hair in a wild bun on top of her head. Bayleigh looks at me, then the floor and back again to me.
After turning back to go into the bathroom, she comes out again and plops on the bed. Instead of answering my question, she grabs her phone and does whatever it is she’s doing. Probably texting Mandy and getting advice.
“You haven’t been out in a while. You should do something fun. Going out is fun.” She doesn’t answer. “I think Cherie’s going to be out and a few other girls from high school. You know I saw Cherie when I was out last time. We talked a little.” I see her grip tighten on her phone and I know I’m pushing a lot of buttons right now. “Maybe I’ll see if she’s down to hang out.”
She seems pissed that I’m asking her to go out and talking about other girls. I know it’s a low blow, but she wants to be friends and push me away, so this is what I have to do. I ignore the scowl on her face. She wants to be friends and friends go out. I like staying in with her and watching movies or whatever, but going out seems like a good idea too.
“Or, you can stay here and do whatever it is you want to do. Alone. Because I want to go out.”
“Well, as long as neither of us gets drunk. Then,” she pauses and groans, “fine. Let’s go out tonight. But we’re doing something I want to do now.”
“And what’s that?”
She smiles and tells me to go home and get ready.
Almost ten hours later, we’re back at her house and I’m carrying bags for her. As much as I love her and want to spend time with her, shopping is never a good thing with Bayleigh. Dragging me from one store to another and making me carry bags, then driving to Buffalo and Waterloo nearly killed me.
“Do you really need all of this?” She glares at me.
“Yes,” she nods and tells me to place the bags by her bed. “My mom thinks it’s good for me to get professional clothes and start looking for a job, so I need to be ready.”
“I don’t think potential employers are going to care if you have the latest purse of Michael Kor’s or the season’s must-have heels.”
“What’s your point?” I don’t answer. “Plus, I needed an outfit for tonight.”
“Can we get dinner? We missed lunch and I’m starving.”
“Order pizza,” she says, and empties the bags onto her bed and looks at everything she bought.
“What are you doing?” I ask, looking up the number for Pizza Hut.
She turns and I can see how annoyed she is and honestly, I love it. Annoyed and frustrated Bayleigh is a lot more fun than confused and sad Bayleigh. I’m rolling with this. “Picking out what to wear and getting ready. It does take me a while to do that. Do you need me to write down every step?”
Sassy. Fuck, I’m turned on.
We meet the guys at ONE and I’m about to kill every guy around us. Everyone’s checking her out, even girls, and she’s acting like it’s not happening.
Bayleigh is beyond sexy in her little black dress and black heels. She’s dressed up from head to toe. The dress isn’t tight, but it’s looks incredible on her. She’s showing some skin, and is risking a lot by coming out tonight.
When she walked out of the bathroom, I nearly died right there. The dress showed off her legs and she masked the small amount of her cleavage with a necklace. She looked happy and I wanted to make sure she has a good night.
Finding Joe, Antonio and some of the girls, everyone makes small talk. Asking how we’ve been and what’s new. I stay close to Bayleigh and make sure she doesn’t leave my sight.
“Bayleigh, you look so hot!” Cherie squeals and claps like a freaking walrus. I don’t get why girls get excited and have to talk in high pitched voices.