We’ve been through so much shit. I can’t help but wonder if all the bad we’ve been through will help us in the future. Lifting my head, I stare out to the water and love the colors. It’s something I can’t describe. I have no idea why the calm of the water helps me.
Looking at the anchor, I smile and think about Tyler. I should text him and let him know I’m thinking about him.
Me: Hi . . . Just sitting at the beach . . . Thinking about you. Hope you’re okay
Ty: I’m good. I’m glad you’re out of your room haha . . . Can we talk tonight?
Me: I was hoping you’d ask me =)
Ty: Call you later
Me: K
I think about going to California while he’s there. It’s a place I’ve never been to and I think it might be good for me. What’s drawing me to California is Tyler and what we can do. Shaking my head, I laugh and tell myself to stop the torture. It’s only a few weeks and when he comes back, things will be okay again. When I head back home, my dad is in the kitchen making lunch. I sit at the island and take his sandwich.
“So good, thanks Daddy,” I smile and bite into the chicken salad. “Ugh, you used Miracle Whip?”
“It’s a salad. No one uses Hellman’s in salads.”
I point at myself, “I do. It adds more flavor.”
“Well, if you don’t like it, then give it back.”
“No thank you. I’ll finish it,” I smile again and watch him make another sandwich. It’s nice being home with my dad. He works from home and goes into the office once in a while. He and my mom love to travel and they take frequent trips. My dad is successful and takes care of most of the things around the house and my mom works part time at the library. She says it gets her out of the house and involved in the community.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” he asks, looking at me with a soft smile.
“Really nothing to be honest. I’m thinking about talking to Mandy about working at her firm. Have to start somewhere, right?”
“I’m proud of you, Bayleigh.”
“For?”
“Becoming stronger. You know, we were scared nothing was going to get you to smile, and look at you now. “
I let his words sink in. His compliments make me smile. I know I’m doing better and I still have a lot to get through. “Well, if only I could open myself fully to Tyler,” I laugh uncomfortably. My parents love Tyler and they’re trying to understand why I can’t be with him.
“In time you will.” He nudges my shoulder with his, “don’t force it.”
“I think I’m going to head to the gym. Thanks for lunch, Daddy.” I kiss his cheek and run upstairs to get my gym bag. Maybe a workout is needed.
Pulling up to the private gym my parents and I belong to, I show my card to the front desk and walk inside towards the locker room. Sometimes I wonder if this gym should be called a Club Med or private resort. It has everything from weight machines, a physical therapist, a massage therapist, juice bar, Olympic size pool, saunas and a few cabanas.
“Good afternoon,” a guy with workout pants and an employee shirt says as he walks by.
“Hi,” I respond with a friendly smile. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Things seem the same, with a few exceptions and certain areas being redesigned.
“Gorgeous!” I turn around and see Mandy running toward me. I didn’t think she’d be back today.
“Hi!” I smile and give her a hug. “You look amazing. How was it?”
“Amazing as usual.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were home?”
“I wanted to surprise you. Your dad said you’d be here, so I came right over. Swimming?” I nod and we head inside the locker rooms to change and get ready. Mandy tells me all about her trip and the guys she met. “You should have come!”
“Next time.” I love Mandy and listening to her stories. Partying with her is fun, but dangerous. She lives life on the edge and has no regrets.
Mandy studies me for a moment, trying to find a hint of me lying, which I am. I don’t think a vacation to Cabo is something I can do now. With her back and things starting to be better, I’m sure she’ll encourage me to go. And I’ll let her, because what Mandy wants, Mandy gets.
“Well, next time is better than no,” she says, looking at my two piece with a smirk. “Looks like someone’s been working out and tanning. You look incredible, Bay.”
“Thanks.” With so much time on my hands, I’ve been looking up workout routines, kickboxing and running more.
We head out the door and Mandy waves at everyone we pass. Most of them smile and some give her a hug. The members here are nice and it feels like a small little community. For the most part we all know each other either from high school or parents of our friends. There are some new faces and everyone seems nice.
Getting outside and putting down our things, we stretch in the corner and jump in the water to swim a few laps. It feels amazing being in the water. I love the feel of the sun on my skin and the water gliding over my body. When I’m swimming, I shut out the world and focus on the tranquility surrounding me.
After swimming for a while, Mandy and I order smoothies and relax in one of the cabanas. I think about asking her about the job and hold back. She just got back from vacation and we’re relaxing. I don’t want her to think anything.
“You’re thinking too much,” she says, looking at me through her sunglasses. “Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me about it.”
“Do you think,” I pause and sigh, “you can get me a job at your firm?”
She smiles a big smile, “Already done. You start on Monday.”
“What? How?”
“Please. Damon loves me and does anything I want. It’s a good starting point. You’ll be his personal assistant. It’s very easy and you’ll get it like that,” she snaps her fingers. “Plus, your office-”
“My office?”
Mandy nods, “Yep, you have an office with a fab view I might add. Well, you’ll be next to me and things will be great.”
“Damon?” I think, “Isn’t he like the VP?”
“Kind of. He’s pretty important at the firm and he needs help. You’re organized and smart. You two will get along.”
I sit back and smile. This is what I need. I need to get out there, meet people and do everything I can to not have a panic attack in a new place. I can do this.
Later on, when I get home and eat dinner, I rest in my room, lying on my bed and looking at my phone.
Being at the gym today is what I needed to clear my head and relax. I was there for almost three hours. After swimming and relaxing outside, we worked on our legs and did a few workouts.
Stretching out on my bed, I get comfortable and pull up the current book I’m reading on my Kindle. Getting lost in the words, I don’t realize my phone’s ringing.
Looking at who’s calling me, I smile and quickly answer. “Why, hello.”
“Hey, you sound happy,” he says and I can hear paper rustling in the background.
“Had a good workout today and Mandy got me a job at the firm. I’ll be Damon Ridge’s PA. Sounds easy, right?”
“I think so. You’re smart, Bay, you’ll figure it out quickly. How’s everything going?”
“Pretty well. Keeping busy.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want him to know I’m missing him like crazy.
“Glad you are,” he teases me, “I hope this project doesn’t last longer than three weeks. I want to come home and be with you.”
“I want that too,” I whisper.
I listen to him talk about California and the places he wants to take me to. His hotel is right on the beach and I’m so jealous. His voice sounds so happy and I love him for being calm and lighthearted. I can’t handle a heavy conversation. Sometimes I think Tyler knows me better than I know myself. He knows what to say and what to do to make me forget.