"Kiss me instead," Dor said. "I'm the messenger."
"Oh, no, you don't!" Irene flashed, taking him firmly by the ear.
"Kiss me instead of Dor," Chet offered. "There's no shrew guarding me."
The hamadryad dropped from her branch, flung her arms about the centaur, and kissed him. "Maybe I have been missing something," she commented. "But I don't think there are any males of my species."
"You could take up with one of the woodland fauns," Princess Irene suggested. "You do have pretty hair." The hamadryad's hair, under its red fringe, was green-as was Irene's hair.
"I'll consider it," Fireoak agreed.
"How did you gather such a bevy?" Prince Dor asked Smash. "They certainly seem affectionate, unlike some I have known." He moved with agility to avoid Irene's swift kick.
"I just picked them up along the way," the ogre said. "Each has her mission. John needs her correct name, the Siren needs a better lake-"
"They all need men," the golem put in.
"I need to go home," Biythe said.
"Oh. I'll take you there now." Smash reached for the gourd.
"She's from a hypnogourd?" Princess Irene asked. "This should be interesting. I always wondered what was inside one of those things."
Smash hooked his finger into Biythe's brassiere and lifted her high.
"Well, that's one way to pick up a girl," Dor remarked. "I'll have to try that sometime."
"Won't work," Irene said. "I don't wear a-"
"Not even a green one?" Tandy asked, brightening.
Smash looked into the gourd's peephole.
The two of them were in the brass spaceship, descending rapidly toward Xanth.
"Oh!" Biythe exclaimed, terrified. She flung her brass arms about Smash. "I'll fall! I'll fall! Save me, ogre!"
"But I have to bring it down to return to your building," Smash said. He was having difficulty because there was hardly room for two. He grabbed for a control stick, jerked it around-and the brass girl jumped.
"What are you doing with my knee?" she cried.
Oh. Smash saw now that he had hold of the wrong thing. But it was almost impossible to operate the controls with her limbs in the way. The ship veered crazily, which set Biythe off again. Her nerves certainly were not made of steel! The more she kicked and screamed, the worse the ship spun, and the more frightened she became. They were now plunging precipitously toward ground.
Then they were back under the fireoak tree. "We thought you had enough time to drop her off," Tandy said. Then she paused, frowning.
Biythe was wrapped around Smash, her metal arms hugging his neck desperately, her legs clasping his side. He had firm hold of one of her knees.
"I think we interrupted something," Princess Irene remarked sardonically.
Biythe's complexion converted from brass to copper. Smash suspected his own was doing much the same, as his Eye Queue now made him conscious of un-ogrish proprieties. The two disengaged, and Smash set the brass girl down on the ground, where she sat and sobbed brass tears. "We were crashing,"
Smash explained lamely.
"Oh-Mundane slang," Chet said. "But I think she wasn't quite ready for it."
"It's really no business of ours what you call it," Grundy said, smirking.
"Oh, don't be cruel!" the Siren said. "This poor girl is terrified, and we know Smash wouldn't hurt her.
Something is wrong in the gourd."
In due course they worked it out. Smash would have to return to the brass building first, then come back for Biythe, who, it seemed, was afraid of interplanetary heights.
But now dawn was coming, and other business was pressing. They had to inform the local village of the protected status of the tree and its environs, and then Chet and his party had to return to Castle Roogna.
In addition, Biythe was no longer so eager to jump into the gourd, with or without the ogre. If she went alone, she might find herself crashing in the ship, and have no way to get back outside, since she was not an outside creature. It would be better to send her back later, once things were more settled.
"Oh," Chet said. "Almost forgot. I gave Tandy's message to Crombie, and he made a pointing-that's his talent, you know, pointing out things-and he concluded that if you went north, you'd face great danger and lose three things of value. But when he did a pointing back where you came from, there was something else you'd lose that was even more important. He couldn't figure out what any of the things were, but thought you'd better be advised. He says you're a spunky girl who will probably win through in the manner of your kind."
Tandy laughed. "That's my father, all right! He hates women, and he knows I'm growing up, so he's starting to hate me, too. But I'm glad to have his advice."
"What's back at your home that's worse than the jungle of Xanth?" Chet asked.
Tandy remembered the demon Fiant. "Never mind. I'm not going home until that danger is nullified. I'll just take my chances with the three things I'll lose in the jungle."
But she found the message disquieting. She had no things to lose-but she knew her father never made a mistake when he pointed something out.
Princess Irene's talent was growing plants. She grew a fine, big, mixed-fruit bush, and they dined on red, green, blue, yellow, and black berries, all juicy and luscious. Smash had always liked Irene, because no one remained hungry in her presence, and she did have excellent legs. Not that an ogre should notice, of course-yet it was hard not to imagine how delicious such firmly fleshed limbs would taste.
"Uh, before you go," the Siren said. "I understand you have a way with the inanimate, Prince Dor."
"Whatever gave you that idiotic notion, fish-tail?" a rock beside the Prince inquired. The Siren was sitting next to a bucket of water and was soaking her tail; she got uncomfortable when she spent too long out of the water.
"I picked up something, and I think it may be magical," the Siren continued. "But I'm not sure in what way, and don't want to experiment foolishly." She brought out a bedraggled, half-metallic thing.
"What are you?" Prince Dor asked the thing.
"I am the Gap Dragon's Ear," it answered. "The confounded ogre bashed me off the dragon's head."
Smash was surprised. "How did you get that?"
"I picked it up during the fight, then forgot about it, What with the pining tree and all," the Siren explained.
"The Gap Chasm does have a forgetful property," Irene said. "I understand that's Dor's fault."
"But the Gap's been forgotten for centuries, hasn't it?" the Siren asked. "We can only remember it now because we're still quite close to it; we'll forget it again when we go on north. How can Dor possibly be responsible?"
"Oh, he gets around," Irene said, giving the Prince a dark look. "He's been places none of us would believe. He even used to live with Millie, the sex-appeal maid."
"She was my governess when I was a child!" Dor protested. "Besides, she was eight hundred years old."
"And looked seventeen," Irene retorted. "You weren't conscious of that?"
Dor concentrated on the Ear. "What is your property?" he asked it.
"I hear anything relevant," it said. "I twitch when my possessor should listen. That's how the Gap Dragon always knew when prey was in the Gap. I heard it for him."
"Well, the Gap Dragon still has one ear to hear with," Dor said. "How can we hear what you hear?"
"Just listen to me, dummy!" the Ear said. "What else do you do with an ear?"
"That's a mighty impolite item," Tandy said, bothered.
"Can we test it?" the Siren asked. "Before you go, Prince Dor?"
"Oh, let me try," John said. She seemed much recovered, though her wings remained nubs. It would be long before she flew again, if ever.