"Oh, it's a living," he said. "Since I lost my wings, I couldn't make it in Fairyland. So I have to settle for what I can get. No monsters attack me here, no one teases me for my wing handicap, there's plenty of food, and the work is not arduous. I'd rather be flying, of course-but let's be realistic. Ill never fly again."
Smash saw one fairy down the line with undamaged wings. "What about him?" he asked. "Why doesn't he fly away?"
The fairy frowned. "He has a private complaint. Don't bother him."
But Smash was in pursuit of his notion. "Would it relate to his name?"
"Look," the fairy said, "we aren't trying to aggravate your condition, so why do you bother us? Leave him alone."
John had caught on. "Oh, Smash-I'm afraid to ask!"
"I'm an insensitive ogre," Smash said. "I'll ask." He tromped over to the fairy in question. "Me claim he name," he said in his stupid fashion.
The fairy naturally assumed the ogre was as dull as he was supposed to be. It was all right to tell secrets to stupid folk, because they didn't know enough to laugh. "I am called Joan," he said. "Now go away, monster." Smash dropped his pretense. "That must be as embarrassing for you as intelligence is for an ogre," he said.
Joan's eyes widened and his wings trembled, causing the cloud pattern on them to roil. "Yes," he agreed.
Smash signaled to John. Diffidently, she approached. "Here is the one who got your name, or one letter of it," Smash said. "Trade him your H for his A, and both of you will be restored."
The two fairies looked at each other. "Joan?" John asked. "John?" Joan asked.
"I suspect the two of you are the same age, and took delivery of your names by the same carrier," Smash said. "Probably the Paste Orifice; it always gums things up. You should compare notes."
Joan reached out and took John's hand. Smash was no proper judge of fairy appearance, but it seemed to him that Joan was quite a handsome young male of his kind, and John was certainly pretty, except for her lost wings. Here in Birdland that particular injury did not count for much.
The two of them seemed almost to glow as their hands touched.
Chem and Tandy and the Siren had joined Smash. "What is that?" Tandy asked. "Is something wrong?"
"No," Chem said. "I've read of this effect, but never hoped to see it It's the glow of love at first touch."
"Then-" Smash said, in a burst of realization that he had suppressed until this moment. "They were destined for each other. That's why their names were confused. To bring them eventually together."
"Yes!" the centaur agreed. "I think John-I suppose it's Joan now-will be staying here in Birdland."
So the fairy's solution was the group's solution! One of their number would remain-happily. How neatly it had worked out. But of course that was the way of destiny, which was never the coincidence it seemed.
They made their acknowledgments of parting and left their fairy friend to her happy fate. The birds, satisfied, let them go.
Their best route north, the parrot assured them, was through the Water Wing. There were very few monsters there, and the distance to the northern border of Xanth was not great.
They agreed to that route. They had already encountered more than enough monsters, and since the birds assured them there were no fires or earthquakes in the Water Wing, the trek should be easy enough.
Besides, the Ear had the sound of rainfall, which suggested their immediate future.
John/Joan hurried up as they were about to cross the border. "Here is a heat wave," she said. "My fiance had it for when he left Birdland, but now he won't be needing it. Just unwrap it when the time comes."
"Thank you," Smash said. He took the heat wave. It seemed to be a wire curved in the shape of a wave, and was sealed in a transparent envelope.
The girls hugged their friend good-bye, and Smash extended his littlest hamfinger so the fairy could shake hands with him Then they stepped across the border, braced for anything.
Anything was what they got. They were in a drenchpour. Not for nothing was this called the Water Wing by the birds! There was ground underfoot, but it was hard to see because of the ceaseless blast of rain.
Chem brought out her rope, and they tied themselves together again-centaur, Tandy, Siren, and ogre, sloshing north in a sloppy line. Smash had to breathe in through his clenched teeth to strain, the water out. Fortunately, the water was not cold; this was a little like swimming.
After an hour, they slogged uphill. The rain thinned as they climbed, but the air also cooled, so they did not gain much comfort. In due course the water turned to sleet, and then to snow.
The poor girls were turning blue with cold. It was time for the heat wave. Smash unwrapped the wire.
Immediately heat radiated out, suffusing the immediate region, bringing comfort to each of them. The fairy's present had been well considered, for all that it had been an accident of circumstance.
Slowly the snow stopped falling, but the climb continued. This was a mountain they were on, blanketed with snow. By nightfall they still had not crested it, and had to camp on the slope.
They were all hungry, and Smash was ravenous, so he gave the Siren the heat wave and headed out into the snow to forage. He found some flavored icicles in a crevice-cave and chased a snow rabbit, but couldn't catch it. So he headed back with the icicles; they were only a token, but somewhat better than nothing. They would have to do.
It was colder out here then he had figured. His breath fogged out before him, and the fog iced over and coated him, making rum a creature of ice. His feet turned numb, and his fingers, too. He hardly knew where his nose stopped and the ice began; when he snorted, icicles flew out like arrows.
Now he slowed, feeling lethargic. Wind came up, cutting into his flesh, buffeting him about so that he stumbled. He dropped cumbersomely to the ground, his fall cushioned by the snow. He intended to get up, as it was now far downhill to their camp, but it was more comfortable just to lie there for a little longer. His Eye Queue cried warning, but after a while that, too, faded out, and Smash slept.
He dreamed he saw Tandy's father, the soldier Crombie, whirling around in his fashion and pointing his finger. The finger stopped, pointing north. But what was it pointing to? Smash remembered Crombie had said Tandy would lose three things; that must be where it would happen.
Then Smash was being hauled awake. That was much less comfortable than drifting to sleep bad been.
His extremities hurt, burning like fire and freezing like ice simultaneously; his head felt like thawed carrion, and his belly Was roasting as if he were mounted on a spit over a fire. He groaned horrendously, because that was what ogres did when roasted on a spit over a fire. "He's alive!" a voice cried joyfully.
As Smash recovered more fully, he learned what had happened. He had frozen on the slope. Alarmed at his failure to return, the girls bad organized a search party and located him. He was as stiff as ice, because that was what he had become. They had feared him dead, but had put the heat wave on his belly and thawed him. Ogres, it seemed, were freeze-storable.
Now that he was awake, it was time to sleep. They settled down around the heat wave, Tandy choosing to rest her head against Smash's furry forearm. Ah, well, that was harmless, probably. "I'm glad we got you thawed, monster," she murmured. "I'm not letting you out alone again!"
"Ogres do get into trouble," he agreed. It was strange to imagine anyone watching out for him, and stranger yet to imagine that he might need this attention, but it seemed he did, on occasion.
In the night there was a horrendous roar. Smash, dreaming again-he tended to do that when asleep-thought it was an ogress and smiled a huge grimace. But the three girls bolted up, terrified.