Reed’s eyes were wide, his head snapped back as though from being hit. “You can’t be serious. I can’t leave now—”
“You must,” Old Man Winter said, and he took a step closer to Reed and put a hand upon his arm. “You must. I knew your father, when we were together at the Agency. He was a good man, a noble man.”
“Wait, what?” I asked. “You knew our father?”
He turned his head slowly to look at me. “I did.” He slid his gaze back to Reed. “He was a man who stayed behind on the day the Agency was destroyed, trying to save as many lives as he could. He was not a man who would abandon his fellows, and I understand your desire to stay, especially for your sister. But—” he cut off Reed’s rising protest before the words left my brother’s lips, “you remaining here will make little difference now. You returning with the knowledge of what we face and a half dozen more of your people could mean the tide of the battle shifts in our favor.”
“I don’t know that we’ll make it back in time,” Reed said in a hushed, almost choked voice, his head bowed. “My bosses—they move slow. I never know what they’re going to do, if they’re going to listen—”
“You will make them listen this time,” Old Man Winter said, and I saw Reed’s head come up to meet the Director’s piercing gaze. “You know what is at stake. Come back to us with what you know, if nothing else. Come back to us with all you can rally, even if that is only yourself and the knowledge of what we face from this Operation Stanchion.”
There was a solemn silence. “I will,” Reed said. “I will…be back.” He turned to me. “I will. Before you know it.”
“I believe you,” I said, swallowing the sudden choking fear and trying to replace it with a smile.
“Ariadne,” Old Man Winter said, “please have a driver take Mr. Treston to the airport.”
She nodded and pulled her cell phone from her pocket, dialing it and speaking quietly into it while Reed made his way over to me. “Are you gonna be all right ‘til I get back?” he asked, and I tasted a familiar hint of dry mouth as he said it.
“I managed for seventeen years without you,” I said, trying to make it sound as natural as I could. “Somehow I’ll muddle on.”
“They’re coming,” he said, and he lowered his voice. Clary and Eve had shuffled away from us, out the door and into the hall, Bastian and Parks were by the window to Madigan’s cell, and Old Man Winter watched Reed and I from near the door. “They could be here before I get back.”
“They’ll get a hell of a fight from me,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere quietly with the bastards who sent Wolfe and Fries after me.”
“I know you won’t,” he said, and put a hand on my shoulder. “I…wanted to be here with you…”
“To the end?” I asked, and felt a slight choking sensation in my throat. “It’s not over yet.”
“Then why does it feel like it?” I heard a quiver in his voice. “Maybe you should come with me.”
“I can’t,” I said, “and please don’t ask me to again. I belong here. Before I came here, I was a shell, a prisoner, a nobody. I had no future but four blank walls, and every day was doomed to be the same. Now I’m…” I felt a smile crack my stony facade, “…somebody. Just because Winter is afraid doesn’t mean it’s over.”
“He’s lived for thousands of years,” Reed said, looking over to see Winter watching us. “If he’s scared and telling you to run, maybe you should take a hint from him.”
“No,” I said, pushing my bravest, most belligerent front forward, determined not to let my brother see me shake. “Because I’m young and stupid,” I said with a smile, “and I don’t fear anything anymore, not after Wolfe. If the worst comes, maybe I’ll just let him out of his kennel to run around and see what happens.”
“I can’t believe you’re joking at a moment like this,” he said, shaking his head, grim.
“Gallows humor. It’ll be okay. We’ll hold ‘til you get back.” I didn’t bite my lip, but I pursed them, holding them stiff to keep the emotion bleeding over from moving them.
“Who’s being a jinx now? Should I say, ‘I’ll be right back’?”
“Only if you want to die in a plane crash.”
“I’ll hurry,” he said, and the levity vanished. “Like Old Man Winter said, I’ll get what they know, and I’ll come back. I’ve got a couple friends who owe me favors. If nothing else, we’ll come trotting back as fast as I can get a turnaround flight. Two or three days, maybe.”
“Hurry back,” I said, and I let him start to turn for only a second before I pulled him around, taking care to keep my hands on his coat, not touching his skin. I pulled him close to me, ignoring the cologne that I always hated, and buried my face in his hair, smelled the sweet fragrance of it, hugged him tighter, his broad chest against me. I felt him hug me back, strong arms holding me in them, and I wondered for just a second if this is what it’d be like to be hugged by our father, then I banished the thought from my mind and pulled away, gingerly, giving him a kiss on the cheek as we broke.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” he said, letting his hand rest on my shoulder for another moment before he started toward the door.
“You mean like fighting off an Omega attack on our campus?” I smiled through the screaming crying in my head. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
He paused at the door and gave me a nod. “You know…I wish I’d told you. Earlier, you know. When we first met. I should have trusted you could handle it. We could have had…so much more time…to talk about it, and whatnot.”
I made my face a mask, tried to pretend concrete had been poured over it so my cheeks wouldn’t move, but even still I felt my eyes get glazed, blurry. “I wouldn’t have believed you,” I said. “I didn’t know what family really felt like until…” I looked around, suddenly a little embarrassed. “I’m glad you waited until I was ready.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he rapped his hand against the doorframe, a nervous thing, a few different emotions alternating on his face. I thought he might speak, but he finally just turned and disappeared into the hallway with a last wave—but no last look.
It was just as well. I felt the first drops coming down my cheeks, hot, stinging, and I wondered when or if I’d see my brother again.
18.
The fading shadows of day were growing long when I reached my quarters. The darkening sky reflected the grim sadness closing in on me as I lay on my couch and waited for the sun to set. I felt like I was being swallowed up in the inevitability of the darkness. I thought of Scott, and how I’d seen him earlier, a shell of his former self, and I wallowed in misery like he did. In spite of my brave face for Reed, I worried about when Omega was coming, about what form their attack would take, and who, if anyone, would be taken. I felt my cheek against the soft velvet of the chair I was lying against, and I watched the darkness descend in my room as the shadows rose along the walls with the fall of day, and I felt hopeless, truly hopeless, for the first time in a long time.
A knock woke me from a sleep I didn’t even know I was in. I hesitated at the door. “Who is it?”
“No one,” came Zack’s voice from the other side. “Well, maybe someone. I dunno. What do you think?”
I opened the door to see him standing tall, wearing a sweater that made him look particularly dashing, kind of…homespun, in a way. I pulled him to me, letting the door close. I kissed him full on the lips for as long as I thought I could get away with, and then hugged him tight, felt the fuzz of his sweater against my cheek. “You’re somebody to me.”
“Whoa, there,” he said. “Take it easy on that meta strength.” I loosened the grip, not realizing how hard I had been holding him, and he smiled down at me. “What’s the matter?” he asked, his smile fading. “What’s wrong?”