She reached out and hugged her friend, grateful that she wouldn’t be alone. “Thank you. I’m afraid I’ll take you up on that offer. I wish I could be more practical, but I want one more night.”
She knew it wouldn’t solve anything, wouldn’t fix the problem, but she wanted it because she loved him.
“Okay. So get naked and I’ll cuff you. God, I never thought I would say those words.” Callie took a long breath and stood up. “Go on. Drop the robe, but don’t expect me to attach these.”
She held up two long dangly earrings. Nell frowned as she shrugged out of her robe. “Do you think those are diamonds? Why did Stef send me earrings?”
Nell settled herself on the bed and spread her arms out. She and Callie had carefully placed the handcuffs. Callie leaned over, a smile on her face as she snicked the cuffs over Nell’s wrists. “Not for your ears, hon. Those are nipple clamps, and I bet Henry loves them. He’s a pervert, right? He looks all upstanding and professory, but he’s a complete freak under that, I bet.”
Nell felt a smile cross her face as she lay back. “He seems very interested in Dominance and submission. And he deeply enjoys spanking me. I would totally protest that, but it feels really nice.”
Callie laughed as she placed the spreader bar between Nell’s legs. “This is totally insane. And your wax job is really nice.”
“Polly. She was reluctant at first, and then she really got into it. Now she has the Bare-Assed Brazilian on her menu. I mentioned that she shouldn’t have used the word ‘ass,’ but she just left it there.”
Callie placed the last cuff and stood back. “Okay. I’m going to go and get him. I’ll be fast because Stef would be so upset if I left you all bound like that for very long. I’m not into the lifestyle, but I know that much. Don’t like die or anything. Someone will be right back.”
The door opened and closed, and Nell was left alone and spread wide for a man who she hoped wanted to take her for pleasure.
Nell closed her eyes and hoped this worked. She wasn’t dumb. She knew he wouldn’t stay because she’d slept with him, but she had to let him know how she felt. It was dangerous, but she’d never shied away from that. She told it like it was, and she loved Henry Flanders.
It wasn’t more than five minutes before the door opened and she heard a low, masculine curse.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
She opened her eyes, looking up at him. He was wearing sweats and a T-shirt, his normal workout clothes. Despite the clothing-optional nature of the gym on-site, Henry insisted that the leather seats on the weight trainers chafed his skin and the towels weren’t big enough. He stared down at her, a deep frown on his face.
“You don’t think I’m pretty?” She kind of thought he would like her like this. He’d talked a lot about bondage and tying her up. Had she been wrong? Had he decided he wasn’t interested in her anymore? Was he staying close to her because he’d taken her virginity and he didn’t know how to gracefully back out of the relationship?
His jaw tightened. “You’re gorgeous, Nell, but I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
She was totally open to him, and there was no way she could shrink back. She kind of got the lifestyle now. It didn’t allow for her to hide. Her body was open so it was easier to open her heart. “I love you, Henry.”
He dropped to his knees, his hands on her body—one on her thigh and one above her breast. “You can’t know what that means to me.”
Not exactly an exclamation of love, but he hadn’t vomited either. “Maybe we could talk on the phone.”
He pulled his hands back. “No. That’s not possible.”
“Why? Henry, are you married?” She’d run every scenario through her head and come up with that horrible thought as the most likely possibility.
He looked horrified. “No. God, no. Nell, you’re the only woman I’ve ever…felt this way about. Please don’t think there’s anyone else. There won’t be, but I made choices that I can’t back away from. Damn it. I’ve been thinking about this for days. I want to be with you. I want to be this man you need, the kind of man you can love, but I don’t think I can be.”
“Henry, is it the vegan stuff? Because we can work on that.” She wasn’t going to lose the love of her life because he liked to eat a burger every now and then. “I don’t think I can cook it, but I’m also very tolerant. I wouldn’t force you to live like that.”
The saddest look crossed his face and his hand caressed her cheek. “I know you are. This goes way beyond my love of a good steak. Baby, if I stayed with you, I would honor that. I wouldn’t touch it again. But there are other considerations and talking about it won’t change things. Sleeping with you tonight won’t make me stay. I’ll still leave in the morning, so why don’t you let me get you out of these cuffs and we can have a nice night together? We can go into town and have dinner.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “You don’t want me?”
Henry stood up. “Fuck, Nell. How can you even think that? Look at how hard I am.”
She looked up and his sweats were tenting, his cock a long, hard line. He wanted her, but he wasn’t willing to stay with her. She knew she should save herself the heartache, but she loved him and there wasn’t anything wrong with it. Her love was valuable. Her love wasn’t dependent on whether he could love her back. If he’d been cruel, she would have turned him away, but then if he’d been unkind, she wouldn’t have loved him in the first place. “Play with me. I won’t do this with anyone else so I want my last night.”
She could have sworn she saw a sheen of tears in his eyes. “You will, Nell. You’ll find someone.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re the love of my life and there won’t be anyone else. It’s all right. You have to believe what you will, but right now, in this moment, I know that I won’t love anyone the way I love you, Henry. I’m asking you for one last night. I know what I’m getting into. I won’t beg you to stay. I probably will cry. I won’t be able to help it, but I’ll let you go if that’s what you need.”
His head fell forward, and just for a moment she was almost sure he would deny her. The seconds ticked away, the silence a drain on her soul.
And then his head came back up and his eyes were hot.
She would lose the war, but this battle had been won.
“Who cuffed you? If you say Stefan Talbot, I might have to pay a visit to him before we get started.” Henry took a long breath and placed a hand on her head. He touched her hair, smoothing it back before his fingers started to trail a long line down her body. He started at her forehead, caressing her nose and lingering on her mouth before moving to her chin. “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“It was Callie. Stef gave me the handcuffs and told us how to set it up.”
“Excellent. He gets to live.” Henry could be so very possessive. She shouldn’t find pleasure in that, but she was honest with herself. It was the only way to live. The thought of another woman touching him made her very sad. Maybe she was a little possessive, too. She had friends who were into the open-love lifestyle, but it would never be for her.
She wouldn’t love anyone after Henry.
She shivered as he drew his fingers over her chest. Her nipples peaked as though begging for his attention. “He gave me a bag of sexy stuff. I don’t know what some of it is.”
Henry sighed contentedly as he traced his fingers over her belly. He was leaving a trail of goose bumps everywhere he touched. He drew his fingers lower, and she could feel her pussy start to come to life at the mere thought of him coming close. Just a few more inches and the pads of his fingers would brush her clit and light her up. Just another second…