“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her drawing board, hiking it onto the top of her thighs. She crossed her legs, causing the hole in her jeans to become stretched out, exposing her olive legs. “Just be your usual self.”
“Devastatingly handsome?” I joked, unable to look away from her bare skin.
“Excruciatingly stupid.”
I smirked. “You better make me beautiful.”
“You already are, Princess.” She giggled.
The low hum of the radio was the only sound in the room. Mom must have dozed off into another one of her drunken comas, leaving the house deathly quiet. I yawned and struggled to remain upright, watching Rocky’s face contort into pure concentration. It was amazing that she couldn’t see the power she had over me. Then again, it was something I tried my best to hide. My gaze flickered down to her cheek where a loose tendril of hair rested, and I desperately wanted to push it away so I could see her fully. Of course I didn’t.
It killed me that Rocky and I could never be together, but that’s what true love was about, right? Sacrifice. There was no way I could invite this loving, family-oriented angel into my dysfunctional and broken world. I needed to save her from a lifetime doomed with my torture…yet, was I that strong? When I found out Dwight had asked her out, it was like another sucker punch to the face. Imagining her with another man’s arm wrapped around her waist, slow dancing to a John Legend tune and kissing under the corny disco ball of the dance, did things to my insides that I’m not too proud of.
Why?
Why could a douche like Dwight expect that he’d get somebody as perfect as Rocky?
Why?
Why couldn’t I allow myself one moment of selfishness?
Before I could figure out the secret to life, the door to my bedroom burst open and a red-eyed, almost unrecognizable woman stumbled in. “Where’s your cash?”
Rocky stiffened at the sight of my mom and lifted her drawing board higher, as if trying to shield herself. I rolled my chair in front of her protectively despite knowing my mom would never lay a hand on her. I would never let her get that far.
“I don’t have any cash, Mom. Now please leave my room,” I said in a calm voice.
“Bullshit. I saw some cash lying inside your underwear drawer the other day!”
The fact that she was nosing around in my boxer drawer overshadowed the embarrassment I felt with Rocky watching this whole exchange. I lifted my chin and tried to keep a stone cold face. “Then you’d know that it was only three bucks and I spent that on lunch at school.”
“Bullshit,” she repeated, glaring at me.
I expected her to leave, but when she didn’t, I knew I had no choice. I fished inside my pocket looking for my last five dollar bill.
Rocky gasped. “No, don’t.”
Now that got my mother’s attention. “Who do you think you are, hussy? Do you really think you have a right to tell my son what to do? I am his muth-dddeerrrr.”
I felt as if smoke was about to escape my ears. I jumped to my feet and stomped my way over to the door. “She has more right than you do. Here.” I shoved the bill into Mom’s hands. “Now go.”
As if a light switch was flipped off, Mom’s face went from murderous to ecstatic. She quickly exited the room, but even her absence didn’t alleviate my mood. I slammed the door loudly and threw myself back onto my chair in time to spot Rocky discreetly shoving her stuff back into her bag.
“Where are you going?” I demanded.
She smiled sheepishly. “Um, I think I should go. Let’s finish this up another time.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t have to tell you why.”
My jaw clenched as I worked my teeth around inside my mouth. Everything in my life was so fucked up. Just when I thought I had a moment of pure normalcy, my mother had to ruin things again. Without thinking, I reached over to grab a half-empty bottle of whiskey from my desk.
Rocky stopped what she was doing and threw me a disappointed look.
“What?” I muttered, unscrewing the black cap. The familiar scent both calmed me and made me want to hurl.
“I think you need to take care of yourself for once…none of this reckless stuff anymore.” She pointed to an empty beer can in my waste basket and sighed. “Don’t turn into her.”
Of course I’d never turn into her. The thought was not only ridiculous, but damn near impossible! Regardless, I found myself screwing the lid back on to appease my best friend. “For the record, I do take care of myself. I eat. I brush my teeth.”
She bowed her head and sighed. “We both know that’s not what I mean. Be happy, Jesse. I know you’re not. That’s why you’re always running around getting into trouble all the time.”
“Happy? How do you expect me to do that? Have you seen my life?” I gestured around and smirked. “Not that easy, Rocky.”
She took a deep breath. “You can at least try to act normal. I mean, what do kids our age usually do?”
“I don’t know…get all hyped up about homecoming, I guess.” I glanced up and noticed a hopeful look in Rocky’s eyes. I frowned. “But we’re not like everybody else. We don’t do stuff like that.”
“And why not?”
“Because…”
“That’s not an answer. We’re seniors, Jesse. Now’s the time to take part in all that dumb high school stuff and stop trying so hard to be different.” Her shoulders bounced. “Besides, what girl wouldn’t want to go to a dance?”
Dumbfounded, I stared at Rocky curiously. “You don’t really want to go to homecoming, do you?”
Her eyes widened. “Yes! I’d love to go!”
My mouth dropped open. “Wait, what?”
“I totally wanted to ask you, but I thought you’d think it was stupid.” She paused and cleared her throat. “I mean, to go as friends of course.”
“Friends,” I repeated.
“Yeah…” Rocky’s face fell for a moment before brightening. “We’ll have a lot of fun. We’ll be normal kids.”
I let a puff of air out of my nostrils. “How would I know what normal is?”
Chapter 4
“So you want to go to the dance?” Mr. Elliott folded his hands together, creating a steeple with his index fingers. Resting his nose on the makeshift tower, he exhaled lengthily. “I thought Jesse Tyler didn’t do dances.”
Crap. He really was going to drag this out.
“He doesn’t, but his best friend does.”
“Raquel Rossi?” The vice principal’s eyebrows rose in surprise. His interest seemingly piqued, he leaned over like a star-crazed paparazzi photographer. I wondered if my affection for her was more obvious than I assumed.
I nodded. “Yes, Rocky.”
He pursed his lips. “I spoke to Miss McMillan today. She speaks quite highly of you.”
“As she should,” I replied smugly.
Mr. Elliott pursed his lips. “I’m glad to see you’re listening to my advice.”
“It wasn’t advice, it was a punishment, right?” I crossed my arms over my chest, then, thinking better of it, relaxed them to my sides. I was asking a favor—something I hated to do—and I needed to play nice.
“Nevertheless…she seems quite smitten by you…I mean smitten in the most respectable term, of course.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably.
Just what BFHS needed—a sex scandal. I smirked. “Yeah, the class is definitely fun.”
Let’s throw an innuendo there to make him squirm.
He nodded his head slowly. “Seeing as you are taking your punishment seriously, I’ll lift my ban on the dance if you promise to stick to the club for at least a semester.”
My heart jumped in jubilation. “Thank you.”
“Suffice it to say, you don’t get into any more trouble before then, hmm?”