God, he was a dumbass.
And yet she couldn’t be too intelligent since her heart, her stomped-on and busted-up heart, was already softening. It had been burst and broken, and at the slightest sign of hope, it perked up and held out its stupid hands and wanted a hug from the same man who’d damaged it in the first place.
She hadn’t learned anything from her mother, and she never would. Not ever. She’d just keep trying, like her mom had.
“He missed his mom?” Jen couldn’t stand the thought of it. In her mind’s eye she could see him as a child, alone and abandoned. She knew the story. Sebastian had left, and he’d been raised in Bliss. It had turned out fine, but the vision of a lonely boy caused her eyes to water and her mind to race. She remembered all the times she’d told him she just wanted a fling. She’d been lying. She’d thought that once she had him in bed, she could convince him that she was girlfriend material. When he’d turned her down, she’d pouted and ranted and made an ass of herself.
“He would never admit it, but yes, he missed her terribly,” Stella said softly. There was a gleam of moisture in her eyes, but she sniffed it away. “His father made a mess of things because he couldn’t commit after she left. Stef had made friends and wouldn’t go back to Dallas. Sebastian let him stay. He fell for you. You walked out at the first sign of trouble.”
Jen turned quickly. “I left after he told me it would never work. I left after he told me how much he regretted what was the best night of my life.”
Stella nodded. “Yes, you left rather than fight for him or for your life here. You left because you were mad.”
“I left because I was embarrassed.” The truth hit her like a ton of bricks. She hadn’t left to spare him. She hadn’t run out because there was nothing for her in Bliss. Everything she cared about was in this little mountain town, and she’d left it behind to spare herself some momentary embarrassment.
“What were you embarrassed about?” Stella asked, her tone grave, as though the next answer really meant something to her.
Jen felt the tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “I was embarrassed that he couldn’t love me back. I was embarrassed because I knew I would never stop loving him, but I couldn’t make him love me.”
“Oh, baby girl, that is nothing to be embarrassed about.” Stella pulled her close. “Every woman in the world has loved some man who didn’t deserve her. That’s no reason to give up your home and your friends.”
“And it’s not true,” Callie said. “I don’t care what he said. He missed you. Look, Jen, I don’t know what happened that night. He won’t talk about it. I do know that he bought a dozen red roses from Marie and Teeny the next day, and he tossed them in the garbage outside your place when he realized you had left.”
Rachel had tears streaming down her cheeks, too. “Max said Stef has been very enthusiastic in their fistfights since Jen left. It’s a sign that he misses you. So much.” Rachel sobbed into her napkin. “Sorry.
I can’t help it. I don’t care what the doctor says. I think I’m having a litter. There has to be more than one baby. I’m a whale.” Jen couldn’t help it. She laughed through the watery mess of her tears. Something heavy had lifted from her, and it felt good to cry and laugh and just be with these women. It didn’t matter that every tourist in the place was watching them like they were crazy and all the locals were on their cell phones telling the people who weren’t there about the waterworks.
“So Stef is dumb,” Jen said in a rush of joy.
“Very, very dumb,” Callie agreed with a smile.
Dumb she could handle. Jen reached out to pick up her cocoa, but she met Stella’s hand, and the mug spilled off to the side, dripping to the floor.
Q was up and running for the door, his big body hitting it with a force that sent it flying open. Jen got a glimpse of the dog as he ran through the snow.
Rachel pointed to the street beyond the window. “We’ve got about five minutes before Max gets here. He’s at the feed store. Ever since Dennis bought it and turned it into a church on Sundays and started only giving discounts to those who attend services, Max has been on his ass. Better order him a burger, or better yet, call Zane. He might need a beer.”
“Don’t worry about it, hon.” Stella got up and started mopping up the mess. “Hal keeps a bottle of whiskey in the back. If that doesn’t work, we can call the doc. I’ve heard he keeps tranquilizer darts around for Mel. I figure they’ll work on Max, too. I like that doctor, I tell you.”
Stella walked off, her boots clanging lightly on the floor.
Callie leaned forward, her elbows on the table. “So, you going after Stef?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? How much did she want him? A whole, whole lot, her heart replied. It was pounding at the thought of going another couple of rounds with Stef.
“I can’t change how old I am.” It was a barrier she would have to find a way around.
Rachel put a hand on her stomach. She looked more peaceful than before. “You just have to push him. He’ll get it through that thick skull in the end. You’re his woman. You just have to prove it.” That, Jen decided, might be easier said than done.
Alexei had to move quickly to get out of the way of the enormous animal that burst from the small diner’s doors. He thought it was a dog, but it might have been a small bear. It wasn’t the strangest thing he’d seen this afternoon.
This was an odd place, but friendly. The people were very talkative and open. He’d spent much of the hours since he’d left Ivan walking around the town. He’d browsed through the stores with their odd combination of ticky-tack tourist merchandise and gorgeously made works of art. All around him the mountains climbed their way to a gloriously blue sky. Was it any wonder the people here seemed so happy? They were surrounded by beauty. He’d found himself wandering. Up and down Main Street people were out decorating and putting up small booths for the festival that was set to begin the next day. There was a happy hum of energy from the tourists who grabbed ski wear and fuzzy socks with bears on them. This was a good place.
“Hi,” a breathy voice said.
Alexei looked down at the small woman with dark auburn hair.
She was petite with a curvy body that had Alexei’s eyes roaming. His flare of attraction was shoved aside as he read the tight shirt she was wearing. Stella’s Café.
His stomach churned as he remembered he had a job to do.
“Would you like a booth or a table?”
His eyes briefly skimmed her name tag. Holly. Holly was a lovely woman. Luckily, she was not the woman he was looking for.
“I will sit at counter, thank you.” He felt a bit weary as he took a seat at the counter. He’d briefly forgotten himself. He sent Holly a tired smile and ordered a cup of coffee.
“Anything else?” she asked. Her bright green eyes were wide with expectation.
Alexei found he couldn’t disappoint her. She was sweet, and if circumstances had been different, he would try to seduce her. How long had it been since he’d taken a nice girl out? Never, he realized.
His brother had died when he was a teenaged boy. All he had thought about since was revenge. As he climbed up through Pushkin’s organization, the women he’d had access to had mostly been prostitutes or the sort to couple with gangsters. Not a one of them saw past his wallet or his position. Not a one of them had looked at him with wide eyes and a truly soft smile.
“You pick for me?”
Her head cocked a little to the side, and she bit at her bottom lip, causing Alexei to shift uncomfortably in his seat. She was so beautiful.