His father leaned forward. The lines on his familiar face creased further as he frowned seriously. “Stefan, this is one of the reasons I came back. I want to talk to you about so many things, but this one in particular. You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened between me and your mother.”
Stef shook his head. “What are you talking about? I don’t blame myself.”
Sebastian snorted lightly. “Fine, then I would like very much for you to stop blaming me.”
“This is not the place to have this conversation.” Stef kept his voice low. The last thing he needed was more gossip.
His father didn’t seem to have a problem with it. “Well, you don’t seem to think there is a place for this conversation, so I’ve decided to have it out here.”
“Fine. I don’t blame myself, and I don’t blame you. I lay the blame squarely on the shoulders of my mother. She’s the one who decided to leave us in order to pursue a career in acting. She’s the one who walked out.”
“She was very young. I knew that when I married her.”
“Then why did you?”
“I was in love with her. I married your mother when she was twenty-four years old. Back then, that wasn’t really so young. I was older, of course, but I knew I wanted her the minute I saw her.” Stef felt his whole soul drag. He knew that story. He’d wanted Jennifer. He’d known that first morning she’d walked into Stella’s looking for him that she was special. He’d been fighting the feeling ever since.
His father had a wistful smile on his face. “I judged a beauty pageant. She won.”
It should have been a clue. Sebastian Talbot had made a mistake that Stef didn’t intend to make. He’d seen trouble coming and walked headlong into it. “Did she talk about her dreams for the future then?”
“Oh, no,” Sebastian replied with a shake of his head. “She was very set on getting married and having a family. Your mother was a lovely, funny, bright woman, but she was always very mercurial. She changed her mind all the time. She was like a butterfly flitting around.
I should have known, but I was young, too. I thought I could make her happy, and then you came along. I was sure she would settle in.” It was hard to remember his mother. When he saw her in his head, it was always in still form, as though he was looking at a photograph.
She was beautiful and distant, always distant. She’d been that way even with his father.
“She needed more than marriage and a family could give her,” Stef said. “I think it’s like that for very talented women. They need room to grow. Tell me something, Dad, do you think it would have been different if you had met her at a different time? Say, when she was older?”
His father laughed, the sound amusing but with a sharp edge. “As your mother has gone through three husbands since me, I doubt it, son.”
Stef turned to his father, utterly startled at the announcement.
He’d known that she hadn’t had the career she’d planned. He’d googled her in the past, but he’d imagined her as happy and working.
“Three husbands?”
His father held his hand up, indicating the number four. “Don’t forget me. I was the first. Her current victim is a very nice retired lawyer.”
Stef felt the foundation of his world shift a bit. “How would you know? Are you telling me you kept tabs on her?”
“Not exactly. She contacted me a while back. I think it was right after she tried to get in touch with you and you rebuffed her.” Stef felt his face harden. He hadn’t rebuffed the woman. He hadn’t done anything at all. He’d simply not responded. He’d thought she’d taken the hint.
His father’s hand came out to pat his shoulder like he had when Stef had been a child. “You’re her only child, Stefan. She realized she wasn’t maternal, so she was careful. But as you get older, you feel the need to reach out, to make things right. She backed off because she didn’t want to hurt you more than she had. I had lunch with her, and we’ve become quite good friends. Stefan, I wish you would talk to her, but I understand it’s hard for you.” A nasty little suspicion seized Stef’s gut. “Did she know you were sick?”
His father’s face flushed. “Yes.”
“But you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I didn’t want to worry you.” He shook his head. “I was afraid, Stefan. I was afraid it wouldn’t worry you at all. I was afraid it wouldn’t mean anything to you. It’s recently come to my attention that I’ve been a coward most of my life. I should have called you, but I didn’t. Getting on that plane was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, son.”
“Why?”
“Because I had to face the worst mistake I ever made.” Now Stef was the one flushing. Well, he’d always known that was true.
His father reached for him. “You’re not understanding me. It wasn’t a mistake to marry your mother or to have you. My mistake was in leaving you behind. Stefan, I should never have allowed us to be separated.”
“I didn’t want to leave. I needed this place. I was happy here, so you don’t have to feel guilty.” He couldn’t imagine what his life would have been like if he’d been forced to move to Dallas. He glanced at Nate, who was talking to his deputy, his eyes never straying far from the man in the cell. Nate had grown up in that world.
Nate had taken years to accept who he was. He’d tried to fit into society’s version of normal. He’d almost lost Callie in the process.
No, he wasn’t angry with his father for letting him stay in Bliss.
He was angry with his father because he hadn’t stayed with him.
The revelation hit him straight in the gut.
He was angry, brutally angry, with his father. All the years of telling himself that he’d built his own family and didn’t need anything from the man had been lies. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his pieced-together family. He did. But he’d needed his dad. He’d needed to know that someone with his blood wanted him for something besides convenient proof that he could procreate.
Stef looked down, and his hands were shaking.
“Son, I deserve everything you’re thinking right now, but I’m asking you to hear me out.”
Stef stood abruptly. The room seemed to be closing in on him. His father scrambled to get up as well, but Stef moved across the room from him. He couldn’t do this right now. He had too much going through his brain. Everything his father had said reinforced his belief that he was doing the right thing for Jennifer, but the fact that she would soon be gone made him sick. He hadn’t had enough time with her, and he couldn’t allow himself any more. If he did, he’d take over her life. He’d mold her into something she wasn’t.
“Stef?”
A soft hand on his arm brought him back to the real world.
Jennifer looked up at him, her eyes soft and filled with concern. When he focused on her, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him as though she could read his need to be close to her. Without hesitation, he took the comfort she offered, reveling in the way she felt in his arms.
“I’d like to go home, love.”
He felt her head nod as she squeezed him close.
“You keep an eye on her, Stef,” Nate said, standing up and walking across the room. His hand came out.
Stef adjusted Jennifer so she was firmly at his side as he shook Nate’s hand. “I will.”
He slid his hand into hers and led her out.
If he was going to lose her soon, he didn’t want to waste a moment on anything as insignificant as the man who had left him behind.
“Stefan.” His father’s voice called out.
Stef walked out the door.
Chapter Fourteen
Jen wasn’t sure what had happened with Stef and his dad, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was her job to calm him down. If she allowed him to, he would withdraw, pretending that there was absolutely nothing wrong. He would more than likely tell her that he wanted to work or some such nonsense and leave her alone for the rest of the evening.