Her heart squeezed and she took another step forward. “She wanted you there, Tyler. Avery did.”
He sighed. “Well, I was there. And now I’m gone. It’s done. The wedding’s almost over anyway. First thing in the morning, we’re checking out of here and getting our asses back to Chicago.”
Nick said nothing, his mouth pursed. Then he shook his head.
“What?” Tyler demanded.
“You gotta face your parents, man,” he said. “This is never going to end if you don’t.”
“Face them? How? Why? What am I supposed to say to them? What difference would it possibly make? I can’t defend myself to them.”
Kaelin gulped. Yeah, what was he going to tell them? It was true, they’d had a threesome last night in their hotel room. Couldn’t really get out of that.
“I don’t understand why they’re so upset about it,” she said, her voice still coming out in a near whisper through her tight throat. “Like I said, it’s your business. Who cares if you have threesomes every night of the week?”
Nick and Tyler exchanged a glance that confused her with its angst. What was going on?
“You know how they are,” Tyler said, not meeting her eyes.
“Yes, but…well. I suppose it is a little shocking.”
Tyler laughed. “Kaelin Daume. Are you telling me threesomes are common in Mapleglen?”
“No.” He was back to his mocking, cynical self, and her stomach cramped. “I’m not saying that. I guess you’re right. Your mom and dad were always worried about what people thought.”
“And so are you.”
She met his gaze, her heart thudding painfully in her chest, her legs shaking.
“Aren’t you?” he challenged.
She bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, looked at Nick, who surged up off the bed.
“Enough, Tyler. You’re being an asshole again.” Nick came at her and wrapped her up in a hug and she leaned into him, her eyes burning, throat paralyzed. “Kaelin. It’s okay. I’m sorry about all this.”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “I’m the one who should be sorry. But I don’t know how to fix it.”
“You don’t need to fix it.” Nick glanced at Tyler. “It’s Tyler’s problem to fix. He just doesn’t want to.”
Chapter Twelve
They were actually in the car, packed up and ready to leave town, when Nick brought it up again. Damn him.
“You should go say goodbye to Avery, at least,” Nick said quietly from the passenger seat. “If not Kaelin.”
Tyler slid his sunglasses onto his nose. It was later than he’d wanted to leave, but they’d both crashed and slept late. They’d grabbed breakfast in the hotel coffee shop and packed up, but it was noon already.
“They’re busy opening gifts at the house,” he said. “Let’s just go.”
“Tyler.”
He sighed and stared straight ahead.
“You know you have to deal with this.”
“Why?”
“Because this chip on your shoulder is wrecking your life. Fuck.” Nick turned his head away and looked out the side window for a moment. “Look at you. We’ve been arguing about the Healthy Solutions account. You want the money and don’t care about the ethics. You want the prestige of having them for a client.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Tyler asked. “It’ll make a difference. You can’t deny that.”
“We don’t need them,” Nick said. “We’ll have other opportunities to demonstrate your brilliance, to make money. And I’m not sure I want to be associated with a company who scams people.”
Tyler tightened his mouth. “Buyer beware.”
“Don’t you see? You only want them for a client because of how it will look good for us. You’re no different than your parents, for Chrissake.”
Tyler felt everything inside him shift as he processed Nick’s words. That was not true. He wanted to shout out a denial. But he couldn’t. Shit. Shit.
“You push away people who care for you. I know how you feel about Kaelin. How you’ve always felt about her. And you hurt her feelings.”
“She knew that was just one night.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. And you know it.”
Yeah. He did. Guilt washed through him. He still stared out the windshield, still parked in the hotel parking lot. “There’s no fucking way we could ever have anything,” he growled. “She’s way too good for that.”
Nick heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Do you have any idea how insulting that is?”
Tyler turned and squinted at him through his dark lenses. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s too good for you. But I’m not. What does that say about me?”
Tyler stared at Nick wordlessly, mouth open, then closing. He swallowed. His brain ran in circles. “It’s not like that,” he said. “It’s different. It’s not an insult.”
“Forget it.” Nick waved a hand. “If you go back there and try to talk to them, what do you think will happen?”
“Nothing! That’s the point! Nothing will change!”
“No, I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen? What the hell are you so afraid of?”
Tyler gripped the steering wheel so tight his fingers hurt. His head felt as if it was going to explode, so much pressure built up inside him. His heart hammered and stomach churned. What was he afraid of?
He knew. He’d always known. He closed his eyes. Gritted his teeth.
“Tyler.” Nick’s voice was softer.
“I’m afraid—” His voice cracked. Embarrassed, he turned away. “Fuck. Fuck you, Nick.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“I’m afraid…” He swallowed hard. “If I tell them the truth, I’m afraid it won’t make any difference.” The words were wrenched out of him painfully, like ripping a hole in his gut. “They still won’t love me, even if they know the truth.”
There. It was out. He’d spoken it aloud. He couldn’t look at Nick.
Nick’s hand landed on his knee. “You gotta face it, man,” he said again, quietly. “You gotta live with yourself. Thinking that is eating you alive. You have to tell them. You have to try to move on.”
“I can’t tell them everything. Some of it’s not mine to tell.” He thought of Kaelin confronting him about the wrecked car when he was seventeen. He couldn’t betray his sister by telling his parents the truth about that.
“Not all of it, no.”
“I tried to tell them. They didn’t believe me.”
“You didn’t try. Like always, you just let them blame you and never said a goddamn word.”
Tyler bent his head.
“You wanted them to have stuff to hate you about, didn’t you?”
He said nothing, but he knew the truth of it. He’d never felt he could live up to their expectations. So he made sure that he didn’t.
“How’s that working for you?” Nick asked dryly, breaking the tension. Tyler choked out a laugh.
“I can’t do it.”
“I’m with you.”
“I’m not sure that helps.” Tyler lifted his head and gave Nick a rueful smile. “You want me to tell them about us?”
“If you want to, I’m fine with it.” Nick held his gaze steadily.
“Fuck, man,” Tyler whispered. “You fucking kill me.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m fine if you don’t tell them, too. Your choice.”
Tyler felt as if his guts were being ripped out of him. “Fuck,” he said again.
With a smile on her face but a heavy heart, Kaelin watched Avery open another lovely gift. She’d admired the gifts, helped Avery keep track of who’d given what, fetched more drinks and coffee for the family members who had gathered in the Wirth living room the day after the wedding. It wasn’t a large gathering, and Tyler’s absence was very conspicuous.