“I’ll ask mine for some names. What’s the matter? Are you all right? Why don’t you come over?”
“I’m lost, love,” he shouted into the cool receiver. Peter hid himself behind the Plexiglas panel that shielded his upper body from the wind. But it curled up the legs of his unguarded pants until it reached his briefs. He felt X-rayed by the wind. It wasn’t cold, it was cool, like a doctor’s examination. “I’m just a lost person,” he shouted against the wind into the plastic.
“Oh, baby,” Rachel said from the warmth of her bed. “Come over. I’ll take care of you.”
NINA WAS embarrassed to ask Pearl. She knew Pearl needed a new job. The little girl Pearl had cared for since birth was now seven and in school full-time, and her parents had finally decided not to have a second child. Nina had spent many a morning in Washington Square Park with Pearl, her charge, and Luke. Although Pearl was black, middle-aged, not well educated, and clearly of a different social class, Nina had spent more time chatting with Pearl than with the few other mothers who, like Nina, weren’t working.
Besides, Pearl was one of the few people Luke seemed to trust. He loved to talk to her. Several times Luke had allowed Pearl to push him on the swings. Once Luke had agreed to let Nina go for a cup of coffee (only a block away) and stay with Pearl. Pearl had even made Luke’s first friend for him, a little boy only six weeks older, named Byron. Byron’s nanny, Francine, was a good friend of Pearl’s; if Pearl took care of Luke, they could be a regular foursome. The harmony, both adult and child, seemed like such a rare opportunity.
And yet, now that Nina had decided on a career and Eric had agreed to hire someone to take care of Luke, now that Eric was making such good money they could afford any price, now that she had had the luxury of nearly two years observing Pearl and other housekeepers, Nina felt it was rude to ask. She and Pearl were almost friends. Might an offer of employment be taken as an insult?
“Pearl, did I tell you that I’m going back to school?” Nina tried as an introduction. She had to force herself to jump, eyes closed, into the shock of worldly talk.
“No!” Pearl said. She bent forward a bit and then straightened abruptly, as if the news were a spring she had sat on. “Who’s going to be taking care of Luke? ”
“Well, I have to get someone.”
Pearl looked to Luke, solemn, hardworking Luke. Disappointed that Byron wasn’t in the park, he concentrated on building his sand castle, but glanced up every minute or so to make sure Nina was there, even though she had been there, always there, for every minute of his life. “He’s not gonna like that,” Pearl said.
“No, he isn’t!” Nina said, laughing at the dreadful prospect.
Pearl smiled. “No, I don’t think so.” She chuckled with thoughtful pleasure. “No, he won’t want his mama to be anywheres but with him.”
“Is there any chance you might be free to—” She had exhausted all her will in going this far. Nina couldn’t complete the sentence.
“—be his sitter?” Pearl asked in a tone of wonder, as if it were too good to be true.
“Yes!” Nina said. “I can’t think of anyone who would be better.”
“Don’t think I’d be better than his mommy,” Pearl demurred. “But he does know me. And he’s such a sweet boy. Really, he is, and so smart! I can’t believe what he knows already.”
“I just think it would be so great for Luke and me if you could do it.”
“Well, I’d like to. But I’d best discuss it with my woman first and then come and meet your husband.”
“Sure.”
“Would you be needing me full-time?”
“Yes,” Nina said softly, hoping this wasn’t a problem.
“Good, because I don’t like to have time on my hands. My mama says I’m crazy. I just can’t stand to be doing nothing.”
Nina heard a wail from the sandbox. Luke was in tears. He was still seated cross-legged in front of his sand castle, but his shovel was gone, in the hands of a self-possessed dark-haired girl of four, who walked away quickly with her ill-gotten tool. Luke’s head bobbed as he cried, chest pulsing, mouth broken open at the corners, his hands rising to cover his eyes.
Nina got up. Pearl said, “Oh, I know that girl. She’s always causing trouble,” but Nina had no time to answer. Her heart, as always, quickened at the sound of Luke’s broken feelings. By the time she reached Luke, his long black eyelashes were wet. They held tear droplets at their edges, glistening, like jewels, in the sunlight. Nina glanced about for someone who might be the girl’s mother or nanny, someone to intercede and get the shovel back.
“What’s the matter?” she heard herself ask Luke, even though she knew what was wrong.
“I wanna go home,” Luke bawled. He was shattered crockery.
“I’ll get your shovel—”
“Don’t want my shovel!” Luke said, for the moment not wilting anymore, his back straight, his eyes open.
Why does he do this? Nina asked herself. Why does he deny the simple truth?
“Oh?” Pearl’s resonant voice came from behind Nina. “Well, I happened to get it.” She put Luke’s shovel beside him. “Is it all right if I leave it here? In case you be needing it?”
Luke, surprised, looked up at Pearl with his great blue eyes. “Don’t want,” he said, but not sure anymore.
“Course you don’t. My, my, is that a castle?”
Luke nodded slowly, his face relaxing.
“Of course it is!” Pearl said. “Looks all done.”
Luke stared down at his creation. He had carefully sculpted the dirty sand (here and there were stray pigeon feathers, a cigarette butt, the top of a soda can) into walls and made little towers at the corners.
“So you won’t be needing the shovel,” Pearl said. “But it is yours,” Pearl added. “So let’s keep it here beside you.”
Luke nodded. “I made a tower,” he said, pointing.
“Un-huh,” Pearl said earnestly, studying Luke’s little structure hard. “That’s for the guards.”
Luke laughed. “To see!” he corrected.
“Oh, of course it is!” Pearl said, shaking her head at her stupidity. “I should’ve known that.”
Luke laughed loudly, his voice healing, his character reglued. “Yeah! Course, it’s for looking. What else could it be?”
“That’s right,” Pearl agreed, her dentures gleaming. “I must be crazy to think it’s for guards.”
“Yeah!” Luke said, getting to his feet to walk around his creation with pride. “Too small for people!” He roared at this and looked at them with joy, but his face, just as suddenly, went slack.
The girl was back. She stood a few feet off, hands on her hips, staring at Luke’s castle with an envious conqueror’s rage.
Pearl glanced at the little girl, lowered her voice to a threatening growl, and said, “Don’t be thinking of playing here. We’re playing here now. There’s plenty of room over there.” The girl shrugged her shoulders and moved off.
“I want to go home,” Luke said anyway, and reached for Nina’s hand.
“All right,” she agreed, the relief Pearl had brought, its refreshment, so quickly dissipated. “Thank you,” she said to Pearl. “How can I reach you?”
“I’ll call you,” Pearl said, and wrote down Nina’s phone number. “I’ll talk to my woman tonight,” Pearl added when they left.
At home that night Nina hesitated again, this time with Eric. She hesitated even though the idea of hiring Pearl wouldn’t be a shock. Eric knew that Nina planned to return to school in a month and he knew all about Pearl (although he’d never met her). Still, Eric, despite his apparent calm, would be nervous at the actual event of turning over Luke’s care to someone else. She worried he might balk at the last minute. Perhaps, on meeting Pearl, he would find fault with her to prevent Nina’s departure.