Jo folded her arms across her chest. “That must have been difficult for you.”
“It was. I wanted to move away, to never see him again, but my mom wouldn’t listen. She loved him and was convinced one day he would change. He broke her heart over and over again with his damn promises. She always believed him, no matter what I said. I vowed I wouldn’t be like him. I would always do the right thing. And I promised myself I wouldn’t be like her. I wouldn’t allow myself to be tricked over and over again.”
She felt a chill and closed her eyes. So much for him knowing he’d been wrong. So much for any hope that they could work this out.
“I don’t believe people change,” he told her. “I saw that in my dad and with his friends. They weren’t interested in being other than what they were. Jail time didn’t do anything except give them time to plan the next con. When you told me what you’d done, I couldn’t believe it. Here I’d gone and fallen for someone just like him. I was my mother all over again.”
The unfairness of the words made her want to stand up and scream her defense. But it wouldn’t matter. Will saw what he wanted to see. It just wasn’t the whole picture.
“Only I was wrong.”
The soft words barely penetrated. She stared at him.
“I was wrong,” he repeated, straightening. “You changed. You’re not that teenager anymore. You’ve made a life for yourself here. I can see your character in everything you do. You’re not like him.” His gaze intensified. “I’m sorry, Jo. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I reacted harshly, without thinking.”
She let his words wash over her as she tried to figure out what she was feeling. Relief, certainly. Maybe a little hope. But she’d trusted him and it had hurt when she’d revealed her darkest secret and he’d left. Sure, he was back now, but how could she trust him not to leave again?
“I believe in you,” he continued. “I believe in us. I want this to work. Please give me a second chance to prove myself to you.”
For once there weren’t any tears. Resignation settled on her as she accepted the truth of the situation — she wasn’t willing to be vulnerable again, to be hurt again. Being alone was easier.
“I’m sorry, Will,” she said, rising to her feet. “I resisted getting involved with you for a reason. I knew it wouldn’t work out. I didn’t want to tell you about what happened to me, about what I did, because I knew you wouldn’t be able to deal with it. I was right. You couldn’t.”
He stood. “No. I don’t accept that. I was a jerk. I handled it badly. But I figured that out. I’m here. Isn’t that what relationships are about? Working things out together?”
“In theory. The truth isn’t that simple or easy. I’ve been alone a long time now, Will. And maybe that’s for the best.” She held up her hand. “I’m not punishing you. I’m just accepting that having a man in my life isn’t going to happen for me. It’s better for me to be alone.”
His mouth twisted. “Safe,” he said. “Risk nothing, lose nothing.”
Anger started deep inside. She welcomed it, knowing the emotion would give her strength.
“Easy for you to judge,” she told him. “You weren’t the one who was told you weren’t good enough.”
He swore under his breath. “So, that’s it? I don’t get to make a mistake? You expect me to forgive you, but I don’t get the same treatment?”
“I didn’t hurt you. I hurt someone else a long time ago. What I did had nothing to do with you. But you did hurt me. You extrapolated from an event you had no part of and used that as an excuse to walk out. We both have our own demons to deal with. Which one of us is going to get hurt next?”
She waited for him to yell at her, to escalate the fight. Instead his shoulders slumped, as if he’d just been loaded down with a weight he couldn’t carry.
“Don’t,” he said quietly. “Don’t do this, Jo. I know you’re pissed and you have every right to be. If I could take it back, I would. If I could not screw up, I would. You’re not my dad. I get that. But at first, I was so surprised by what you said. I thought…” He shook his head. “I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought. I can’t convince you. You’re going to see what you want to see.”
He started to the door, his steps uneven. When he got there, he turned back to her.
“You’re wrong about one thing. It’s not that I got mad and handled it badly. That could happen to anyone. It’s what I did next that says who I am. I wanted to leave town — I asked Tucker for a transfer to another job. But I couldn’t go and I couldn’t let go. I worked it through. While I hurt you, it wasn’t on purpose. I’ve admitted my mistake, I’ve learned from it and I’m doing my best to apologize.”
He opened the door. “I’m not the best-looking guy around and there are plenty richer. But I’m still a good man who loves you. I even like your damn cat. It’s not the screwing up that defines a person, Jo, it’s what he does afterward that says who he is. You know that better than anyone, because you’re the one who said that to me.”
With that, he walked out.
She heard his steps on the porch, the slight hesitation in his stride from his limp. Then that faded and there was only silence. Something warm brushed against her leg and she reached down to stroke Jake. The cat stared up at her, his yellow eyes seeing far more than usual.
“Don’t,” she whispered to herself. “Don’t say anything. I can’t forgive him. I can’t let him back in my life. What will he do the next time?”
There was no answer — only silence and a hard, thick pressure on her chest. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, could only feel the emptiness that was her future.
Even as she wanted to go to him, her mind screamed out that she couldn’t trust him. That he would hurt her again and no one was worth those tears. Her heart whispered that, yes, crying was inevitable. It was impossible to feel love without also feeling pain. But the price was worth it. He was worth it. That if she let him go, she would regret it for the rest of her life.
The need to protect herself battled with the hunger of her heart. Twisted and torn, her heart fought rational thought. Then she was moving. She flung open the front door and raced across the porch. She hurried down the steps, along the path until she reached the sidewalk. Frantically she looked in both directions, trying to figure out where he was.
Then she saw him nearly at the end of the block.
“Will!”
She called out loudly, aware that it was late and she wasn’t being a good neighbor, but unable to stop herself. The figure in the distance paused.
She ran toward him, nearly flying as she covered the distance. When she got close, he held out his arms and welcomed her home.
She flung herself at him and hung on as if she would never let go. He held her even tighter. Once again she couldn’t breathe, but this time it was for the best reason of all.
“Will, I…” she began.
He silenced her with a kiss. “Later.”
“But I have to tell you—”
“No, you don’t.” He released her from the hug but kept his arm around her. “Come on. It’s cold and you’re not wearing a jacket.”
She stepped in front of him and grabbed him by the shoulders. “I’m trying to tell you I love you and all you can say is I’m not wearing a jacket?”
He smiled then. A slow, sexy smile that made her stomach turn over and every part of her burn.
“I love you, too, Jo. Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TUCKER HEARD A FAMILIAR sound from outside the trailer. Tires on dirt and gravel. Funny how he could pick out those particular tires from all the others. Not funny in a good way, though, he thought, wishing the construction trailer had a back door.