“Ohhh!” Elizabeth pounded the pillow. It should not matter what his estimation of her was or why he wanted to know her opinion of him! Elizabeth dove into her pillow face down. But to own the truth, it did matter to her, and she could not help but wonder why.
The next morning, Rosalyn came up to Elizabeth several times, recalling some incident from the previous night that she wished to share with her, everything from what Mr. Darcy wore to what foods he seemed to enjoy the most.
“Elizabeth, when I first noticed him, he was standing with his back to me. But I was quite certain it was him because of the manner in which he walked as someone called him over. Have you ever noticed how he appears to glide across the floor? And he had on the most impeccable dark blue attire. When he turned and looked at me, I quite forgot about what I was speaking to Mrs. Remington!”
And then she spoke of the meal. “He took a rather small portion of duck, but seemed to take a rather large portion of potatoes. He had little interest at all in the beet soup, but he did eat a good deal of the bread pudding.”
Elizabeth made several futile attempts to change the subject. However much she did not wish to hear about him, she did inquire about Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy and whether an announcement of their betrothal had been made.
“No, I had very little opportunity to speak to them as they left early. I did hear people whispering and conjecturing about them, though, and they all think an announcement is forthcoming.”
Throughout the day, Elizabeth found it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on Emily’s lessons. She found herself easily distracted, and even little Emily noticed it.
“Miss Bennet,” Emily said, reaching out and taking Elizabeth’s hand. “Are you feeling unwell this morning? You do not seem yourself.”
Elizabeth squeezed Emily’s hand. “You certainly are an astute child, Emily.”
“What is… astute?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Astute means you are smart about things and have good judgement. You can sense things to be a certain way. For example, you say I do not seem to be myself. You are correct, but I had not told you how I was feeling.”
“I can see it in your eyes.”
“Truly? And as you grow up, you will notice more and more things like that, making you a good studier of character.”
“Is that good?”
Elizabeth tilted her head. “It can be in some ways.” She thought back to her study of Mr. Darcy. “But we must not always rely on what we first perceive. We may not always be correct.”
“How will we know if we are mistaken?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Sometimes we may not know until it is too late. But,” Elizabeth clasped her hands together, “a good rule of thumb is to not be too quick to judge someone poorly, but always be willing to judge them well. Then collect the facts you need to support or disprove your opinion.”
Emily displayed a wide grin. “That does sound like a good idea.”
Elizabeth felt a little better after her talk with Emily. She enjoyed sharing lessons she had learned from people, books, and her own experience. Fortunately, the young girl did not ask what it was that was bothering her, and Elizabeth did not volunteer the information.
To Elizabeth’s relief and Rosalyn’s regret, for several weeks there were no balls, no parties, and no evenings at the theatre where Mr. Darcy, his sister, or Mr. Bingley were in attendance. Rosalyn still harboured hopes that Mr. Darcy had a fondness for her, but kept it between herself and Elizabeth. She had not owned up to her sister what her hopes and dreams concerning him were.
Elizabeth was grateful for his absence from those functions, but Rosalyn continued to mention him at every opportunity. While she dearly enjoyed the friendship they shared, when the subject of Mr. Darcy came up, Elizabeth had to choose her words very carefully.
She was also immeasurably grateful that there had been no announcement concerning an engagement between Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley. She had made a decision early on that she would not burden Jane with the fact that she had seen him again until it was absolutely necessary. But she knew it would only be a matter of time.
Chapter 5
Blue skies and mild breezes became increasingly prominent in the ensuing weeks, replacing the grey skies and cold dampness that had plagued London throughout the spring. The promise of summer brought with it the anticipation of colourful gardens, warmer days, and of course, the move to the country. The house was all astir with plans and packing.
While Elizabeth savoured each visit to her aunt and uncle’s, more often than not her smiles were forced and she found it difficult to join the others in their laughter. It pained her to know that these visits would shortly be coming to an end when she departed with the Willstones for the north. But just as she was determined to guard what she said to Rosalyn about Mr. Darcy, so she had to be careful not to mention Mr. Bingley to Jane. Until she knew for a certainty that an announcement between him and Miss Darcy had been made, she would not acknowledge to her sister that she had seen him. It was an insufferable thought that lingered continually in the back of her mind.
As the time drew nearer for their departure, arrangements were made for one final party at the Willstones’ home, and Elizabeth had been asked to practice a song for Emily to sing for the guests. Invitations were sent out to all their closest acquaintances, and Elizabeth pondered quietly whether that would include Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy, and Mr. Bingley. She could only hope and pray that he would not attend and that they had not yet become betrothed.
Elizabeth diligently tended to her duties with little Emily, working with fervour on a song she would play on the pianoforte and Emily would sing. She did everything to keep the thought of which guests might attend out of her mind. Rosalyn, however, brought forth that subject to Elizabeth at every opportunity. The day before the party, she came to see Elizabeth.
“He most likely will not be here, Elizabeth,” she pouted despondently.
Elizabeth tilted her head at Rosalyn and gave her a sly smile. “Of whom do you speak?”
“Oh, Elizabeth, how you tease me! We have heard that Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley will attend, but nothing from her brother.” Rosalyn let out a deep sigh. “It is just as I feared. My sister supposes that he has already left for the country and will not be returning to London until next season.”
A great sense of relief flooded Elizabeth, but she felt compassion for her friend’s disappointed hopes. “I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities to see him in Town next year.”
Rosalyn waved her hand through the air in a dramatic gesture. “Oh, no. I am convinced he will be married by then. Or at least promised to someone.”
Curiosity prompted Elizabeth to ask, “Why do you say that?”
Reaching out and grasping Elizabeth’s hands, Rosalyn answered, “If his sister is to marry, he will be released from the burden of her guardianship and feel the freedom to take a wife of his own. Some say it may have been due to his devotion and care for his sister that he has not yet married…”
Elizabeth abruptly looked down as her heart began to pound. Slowly looking back up at Rosalyn, she asked apprehensively, “Are they engaged, then? Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley?”
Rosalyn waved her hand back and forth. “No… that is… I have not heard that there has been an announcement, but everyone believes it will be soon. And if that is the case, if I do not see Mr. Darcy before we leave for the country, it may be too late. I will be gravely disappointed.”
“Rosalyn,” Elizabeth tried to reassure her. “There are many fine men out there. Certainly someone other than Mr. Darcy would make you a wonderful husband.”