It caused a sharp pain deep within as she realized what her misjudgement—of his character and behaviour—had cost her.
As her thoughts took her one direction and Rosalyn’s discourse continued unabated, the master himself stepped in, very nicely cleaned up after being out all day in the mud and rain.
They exchanged greetings, and then Darcy addressed Elizabeth. “Did you go out walking today, Miss Bennet?”
She had to laugh as he had the most earnest look on his face save for a slight twinkle in his eyes. “No, sir. Unfortunately I neglected to pack a pair of mud boots, so I was quite confined to the house.”
He chuckled. “It is unfortunately quite muddy out there. Did you enjoy your visit yesterday? How did you find the Ketterlings?”
“They are quite amiable and I enjoyed myself immensely.” She told him of her tour of Lambton, seeing her aunt’s home, and meeting some of her friends. She conveniently left out all the stories she had heard about the Darcy family.
“I am glad you found them to your liking. Will you join us this evening and allow me another opportunity to redeem myself at chess?”
Elizabeth laughed. “If you wish.”
He departed with a soft, “Good. I shall see you both later.” Rosalyn looked at Elizabeth oddly, but said nothing. Elizabeth excused herself, telling Rosalyn she needed to go see if Emily had awakened from her nap.
Rosalyn only replied that she needed to speak with her sister.
Chapter 17
Elizabeth left Rosalyn and walked to Emily’s room, her feelings whirling within her. She shook her head as she considered how much she now treasured and appreciated any notice Mr. Darcy paid to her. How unlike their acquaintance in Hertfordshire when she surmised that the notice he gave her was solely to find fault with her.
When Elizabeth came to Emily’s room, she found her awake and quietly drawing with crayons. Elizabeth allowed her to entertain herself in this manner until it was time to prepare Emily for dinner.
When they walked down for dinner, Emily squealed with delight when she noticed her parents waiting at the bottom of the staircase. With a hearty greeting, Mr. Willstone picked up his daughter and swung her around. He then carried her toward the dining room. Elizabeth started to follow, but Mrs. Willstone put up a hand to halt her.
“If you please, Miss Bennet, I wish to have a word with you.”
“Certainly,” Elizabeth replied, noting the look of displeasure on Mrs. Willstone’s face. “Is anything wrong?”
“Well, yes and no.” She reached for Elizabeth’s hand and took her aside. In a whisper, she said, “Miss Bennet, I regret having to bring up this matter, but I fear I must. There have been far too many occasions recently when you have shown a little too much familiarity with Mr. Darcy and his sister. I suggest you remember your position.”
Elizabeth’s eyebrows arched high at Mrs. Willstone’s words. Never before had she ever referred to her as being in a lower station.
“If you recall, Mrs. Willstone, I was acquainted with Mr. Darcy before I ever took the position of governess. At the time of our acquaintance, I do believe he considered me his equal.”
“Tsk, tsk.” She patted Elizabeth’s hand. “Perhaps it appeared that way. You must remember who he is, my dear. Certainly you understand that he cannot afford to have associations that might tarnish the Darcy name!” She gave her a condescending smile. “I am sure you will understand when I beseech you to refrain from speaking to him… or his sister… in such a familiar manner.” Her lips pursed tightly. “And we must insist that you do not come to the drawing room in the evenings ever again.”
Elizabeth bit her lower lip as she fought an increasing sense of insult and personal disappointment. “Earlier, Mr. Darcy himself invited me to join the others in the drawing room this evening for another game of chess.”
Mrs. Willstone shook her head abruptly. “He is only being polite to you and does not truly expect you to do such a thing. No doubt you have noticed that Miss Bartley does not come to the drawing room. She knows her place. And consider Miss Darcy. The poor girl is so very young and unsure of herself, attempting to learn her duties as Mistress. Do not tempt her with associations that are unsuitable.”
Elizabeth felt her chest tighten so much that she could barely breathe. Certainly Rosalyn was instrumental in prompting this discourse. Elizabeth had readily noticed that Rosalyn had seemed perturbed during the conversation earlier between herself and Mr. Darcy. Moreover, when Rosalyn came upon Miss Darcy with Elizabeth in the music room, there were traces of jealousy in her demeanour.
A myriad of thoughts assaulted Elizabeth, especially when Mrs. Willstone gently patted her hand and continued, “We would not want Mr. Darcy to think ill of Rosalyn because of unbefitting behaviour tolerated by her family.”
“You think my behaviour unbefitting?” Elizabeth asked incredulously.
Mrs. Willstone’s eyes cast briefly toward the ground in an unwitting gesture of discomfiture. “Unbefitting a governess, yes. Miss Bennet, you must know we grieve with you over your change of circumstances. It must be terribly difficult, but Mr. Darcy may be watching Rosalyn carefully for any signs of improper behaviour from her or her family…” Her eyes slowly looked up. “…or the family’s governess.”
Elizabeth wished to defend her actions with everything inside of her, but she knew her only defence was that Mr. Darcy had once made her an offer of marriage, and he was treating her with kindness and courtesy… much more than she ever deserved. “Yes, Mrs. Willstone,” she replied softly.
Elizabeth was grateful, at least, that Mrs. Willstone had not banished her from eating with the others in the dining room. She could easily have requested that she eat with Emily elsewhere. Perhaps if it were not for the presence of the Goldsmiths’ governess, she would have been. She entered the dining room behind the Willstones, uttered a short and succinct greeting to Mr. and Miss Darcy, walked around to the far side of the table, and took the seat next to Emily. As much as she would have liked to converse with the others, she resisted and kept her attention on her ward for the duration of the meal. She did not think she could feel the disparity between her and the others more than at this moment.
After finishing the meal, Elizabeth and Miss Bartley took the young girls to the children’s nursery and allowed them to play until almost nine o’clock.
She watched Miss Bartley throughout their time with the children, admiring her ability to teach the girls in the midst of play. She gave every appearance of loving what she did, and she did it well.
At length, Elizabeth turned to her. “Miss Bartley, you have been a governess for quite a long time. May I ask you a question?”
“Is there something about which you need advice? I would be more than happy to share from my years in this position.”
Elizabeth breathed in deeply. “Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.” She wrung her hands together as she formulated her question.
“Do you think… have you seen… any inappropriate behaviour on my part… that is, behaviour unbefitting a governess… in regards to Mr. Darcy or his sister?”
“Heavens, no!” she exclaimed. “What has brought this on?”
“I was informed that I have spoken with too much familiarity to them. It began, I believe, when I took Emily into the drawing room one evening to say good night. I soon found myself in a chess match with Mr. Darcy.”
Miss Bartley’s eyes widened. “Truly?” Her eyes crinkled as she leaned in. “Who won?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Needless to say, I have been strongly warned.”
Miss Bartley narrowed her eyes. “It is an unfortunate position we are in, Miss Bennet. Oftentimes the servants will look down on us for being their superior, and those in upper classes look down on us as being their inferior.” She looked at Elizabeth with understanding eyes. “It is an even greater misfortune when you once had the standing of society.”