She’s taking forever, so I pace back and forth and then lean my head against the door, waiting for it to open. I remain silent, because what can I say?
Faith
The reflection in the mirror is what scares me the most. I remember the face staring back at me. She’s full of hope and trust, and she believes in a future that doesn’t exist. Kyle did that to me. Damn it, this was supposed to be only tonight, but now the rippling energy under my skin is hinting at wanting more. More than this minute and more than what I can give him.
Swinging away from my reflection, I pull on a robe and then stalk to the door with a solid resolve to end this now. It’s time for him to go.
When I yank it open, Kyle stumbles into me and grabs my waist.
“Hi, gorgeous. Everything okay in here?”
His endearing dimple is back, and for a minute I’m lost in it and him. I long to run my hands through his crazy hair, to have his eyes rake over the naked contours of my body and feel his fingers push into me one more time. I can’t let that happen, so I close my eyes instead and count to three.
The weight of his hands distracts me. The subtle pull to drag me from the bath and into my apartment all happens in the dark. I can’t look at him, so I turn my head and look out the window. The moon provides the perfect silhouette to watch the palm trees sway in the breeze. I’ve come to love this island and the serenity it brought me in my time of need. Now it’s time to say my peace. “You need to go. I had fun, but I’d like to be alone . . .”
“Stop,” he says, and my gaze snaps to his. Anger bubbles to the surface and I break away to spew it forth.
“Don’t stop me, Kyle. This is my house and my life.”
“Then why are you afraid to live it?”
I close my eyes, wishing I could wish him away, but I can’t. A large part of me doesn’t want to. I’ve had more fun in the last five hours than I have in the years since I stepped foot on this island. But I don’t want tonight to turn into a deeper dive. Not into my mind, or what keeps it closed up tight.
“I’m not going there with you. It’s none of your business. Just because you’ve been inside my body, doesn’t give you the right to know more.”
“What if I want in?”
“You’re not invited.”
“I call bullshit. I was right there, until you freaked out.”
I sigh; it’s long and drawn-out, and it shares my frustration. “Nothing is making any sense; you’re supposed to be one night with no questions. Why are you doing this?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re right. It doesn’t make sense, yet everything does at the same time. I don’t know what drew me to you, but I damn well know I want to stay. I don’t know anything about you, yet I know when I do, I’m going to fall for every quirk and angry flip of your hair. I’m not afraid of your past or mine, because what we can do is make our own tomorrow. That’s the basics. Seems like we’ve got a good foundation to build from.”
“How? None of this is possible, Kyle. You live all over the world and I live here.”
“That’s what planes are for, Angel.”
My breath is crashing in on me like Niagara Falls, brutal and beautiful at the same time. What he offers is hope for more than I have today. But I won’t give him anything unless he gives me the truth.
“How do you know my name?”
Silence stretches between us, his chest rising and falling under the weight of my question. Minutes pass, his eyes never leaving mine, and finally he answers. “I asked around . . . and then I called in some favors from my colleagues at the Bureau.”
I let my head fall into my hands, and I’m not sure if it’s out of anger or relief. I should be pissed he researched me, but it’s more of a release from the ties that have held me hostage for the last two years. He knows and he hasn’t held it against me.
Kyle’s with me now, hands on my shoulders, drawing me into the warmth of his chest. “You know everything about me then . . .”
He tightens his hold. “I know what happened to you, but that’s not who you are. James Marshall and what he did doesn’t define you, Faith. Why do you let it weigh you down?”
What? I shove him away and release the two years of pent-up frustration rolling up my spine. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to wake up one morning to find out you’ve lived a lie? I do! My life turned into a national bestseller when the man I was going to marry left me to climb out of the house of cards that fell around us. He killed himself, Kyle. He stole millions of dollars from our friends and his firm, people who trusted him. Then he got caught and he left me to deal with the anger and the lives he destroyed. Including mine.”
I dig my fingers into my hair as if I can bury the memories from existence in my mind. “If that doesn’t define someone, I don’t know what does. I believed in him, just as everyone else did, when I should have known. I think about it every day—what signs did I miss? Was I stupidly gullible or did I turn the other cheek? Did I just let it go because I liked what I had and who I was with?”
I need to know the answer to that. It’s what I’ve been searching for over the last two years. I want the answer to be no, but I’m afraid it’s yes. And if it is, I deserve to remain in my self-imposed exile with limited connection to life.
I can be nobody or maybe somebody, but unless I figure it out for myself I won’t be anybody.
“Oh, Faith.” He’s taken the steps toward me so he can cradle my face in his hands, more compassion than I deserve shining in his eyes. “You’re taking on his burden when it’s buried with him. If I could pull the stars from the sky for you, I would. But even if I did, you wouldn’t know what to do with them. Stop hiding behind the bar in the middle of nowhere and engage in your life. Don’t drown in his.”
My heart clenches. If only it were that simple. Leaning my forehead against his, I say, “This is my life.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I fist his hair, pulling until it must sting. “What do you want from me?”
His smirk is back, the playful, devilish lift to the corner of his mouth that has my insides quivering like Jell-O. “I want more than just this minute; more than tonight. I want to break down your walls and all of your rules.”
We both groan when he rocks the growing length of his erection into me. “You're making me think and feel. I don't want to care about you, and what happens to your tomorrows.”
“Too late, Angel. I found a way to sneak inside your forever.” Tipping my chin back, he finds my eyes. “Someone I have a lot of respect for once told me I’d find my way to the right fit. I believe it. Now that I found you, we’ll find a way to be together. It might not be tomorrow or next week, but we can figure it out.”
This man. As crazy as the hair on his head, he’s given me more hope in one night than I’ve felt in years.
“I’m not on the pill.” I blast it like someone just hit a car horn accidentally. Subtle, Faith, real subtle.
He shrugs and sweeps my legs out from under me so I have to grip his neck out of self-preservation. Holding me in a vice-grip next to his chest, he says, “Everything happens for a reason. We’ll have to wait and see where life takes us. In the meantime, I’m taking you to bed.”
Chapter Eight
Kyle
“I’m going to take my time with you,” I say, tossing her on the bed. The robe she put on loosens, exposing her full breasts, her nipples tight and long, waiting for my mouth. Closing my eyes, I try to slow my thoughts that are racing ahead of me. I’m not feeling refined, more like wild with a side of out-of-control. I want to lick and taste every part of her, eat her like a meal and then have a buffet for dessert. I want her in my mouth, wrapped around my dick, and I want to fuck her until she’s screaming my name so loud it becomes a part of her.