We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us willing to break the deepening silence, the air brilliant and lively between us. Thoughts of him with another woman demand attention and I’m instantly frustrated.
Crossing my arms under my breasts, I square my shoulders and ease toward his tall frame. “Where’s Raquel?”
His eyes darken and flash over my chest as he weighs his answer. “She’s just a friend, Charlie.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Somehow I think I do.”
“I get it, Colin. Your words were crystal clear. You can’t with me, but you can with the right someone: someone like Raquel. She’s bewitching. I applaud you on your taste.” My voice drips with insolence. I have no idea where this rancid anger is coming from, but it feels good. Letting my emotions surface is invigorating and new; normally I would never challenge someone in this way. I’m shocked I’m doing so with him.
“Don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I said.” With narrowing eyes and a clenching jaw, his expression belies the calm tone. His temper is flaring and I like it. It’s . . . hot.
“Then tell me what you really mean. If you don’t give me the true story I’ll make it up on my own, and right now it’s ending with you and Raquel Meyers.”
“I can guarantee you my story is not ending with Raquel. I have something else in mind for my happy ending,” he taunts as he takes the last step closer so there's an inch between us. I have to tilt my head back for our eyes to remain locked, my thoughts scattering. I swallow reflexively, his words settling deep into my belly as I wait for him to continue. I’m speechless.
“You don’t know me. You have no idea how complicated I am, how complicated my life is,” he breathes into me, holding me firmly with his eyes while our bodies remain a hairsbreadth apart. “For some reason I can’t stay away from you. I’ve tried, Charlie. I have, but each time I see you I’m drawn back in even though I know I should stay away. You deserve more than me.”
His head dips close and my heart stalls again, knees weakening. Without thought I lift my hands, wrapping them into his hair to hold myself up. I pull against him, drawing him closer still, and the connection feels . . . right, like my hands were meant to live there in the soft waves, tugging and pulling gently. A low rumble sounds deep in his chest in response to my wanton fingers. Eyes closed, he lowers his lips to hover directly over mine. He breathes deeply, slowly and methodically, taking my breath into him as if I’m the last whisper of oxygen to fill his lungs.
“I can breathe when I’m with you, Charlie. My lungs haven’t felt this full in so long.” Moving a fraction, his lips brush against my cheek and my heart gallops. I can’t think; the only thing running through my head is please, please kiss me, Colin.
“Charlie,” he whispers my name as his nose runs along the line of my jaw, rubbing delicately against my skin. His hands, which have remained by his side, move to hold my head tenderly, clasping at the top of my neck. His fingers are splayed into my hair to hold me steady, but even without them I wouldn’t move, I couldn’t move, paralyzed by riotous and unfamiliar desire. He begins a slow, deliberate path, tracing his lips and nose along every inch of my face, breathing in every minute detail as his thumbs draw a delicate line along my lips.
“Colin, please.” To my horror I’ve whispered it out loud, and although it was barely spoken the words seem to echo throughout the room.
For the briefest moment he presses his lips against my forehead, holding me tighter than he ever has before.
“I’m sorry.” He says, pulling away. My hands fall indelicately to my sides, empty and wanting. “My focus has to remain on the campaign. This . . . us . . . can’t happen.”
I’m shocked. Once again, in the matter of a second, he’s transitioned from hot and welcoming to cold and detached, spiking my anger. “You need to figure your shit out Mr. President. Don’t toy with me,” I say, full of sarcasm. “Go play with Raquel if that’s how you operate, but not with me. I don’t do drama, and frankly that’s all this has been.”
“I shouldn’t have come in here, I know that. I was telling you the truth when I said I’m drawn to you on a level I don’t understand.” His eyes confirm his sincerity. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Charlie. I can’t stay away from you and I don’t understand that. I’ve not encountered feelings like this before.”
I pause, knowing his thoughts are exactly my own. I can’t stay away from him; I know I should, but for some unfathomable reason I can’t.
“Well, you seem to be doing a good job of reeling me in and casting me back out. That’s not okay with me. How’s that for an understanding?” I rush through the words as the last remnants of anger course through my blood. Staring into his eyes to make sure I’m clear, I softly say, “Don’t do this again, Colin. If you don’t want to hurt me, then you need to stop offering a glimpse of what it’s like to be with you only to push away.”
He nods just at the moment voices enter the room. I slip off his jacket, handing it to him. Our fingers touch during the transition, and the sharp unexpected pang of lust, desire, and whatever else the hell it is travels sharply up my arm, warming me everywhere.
“I feel it too,” he whispers, finding my eyes. His are confused, bewildered almost, and for a second I understand him. I’m the unknown factor. He had his life planned out, a very specific path laid before him and not anywhere on his road to travel did Charlie Carter exist. Yet here I am, and his struggle is one of diversion. Should he divert from the path he meticulously planned or digress for an unknown draw toward a stranger, someone so unlike anyone he’s met before? I’m not anywhere near the social category of the women within his circle, further complicating his struggle.
“Colin, there you are.” Raquel’s voice is smooth, high-society syrup. When I glance toward her I notice Evan hovering at the outskirts of the room. He must have led her to Colin. “Oh, I didn’t expect to find you with someone. Who is your little friend?” she asks as she not-so-subtly checks me out, unable to hide the belittling tone in her voice.
I respond before Colin does, “No one of your concern.” I lift the corner of my mouth in a small smile as I take in her shocked expression. Turning to Colin, I note his mouth is lifted in a similar smirk.
“Thanks for the history lesson.” And with that I head out the door to find Molly and her boys, bypassing Evan without so much as a glance. He catches up to me clutching my shoulder in the empty hallway.
“Charlie, I’m sorry . . .”
“What is it with everyone and their I’m sorrys?” I ask, exasperated. “And exactly why are you sorry? For telling Colin where I was in the first place or taking Raquel back in to save him from me?” Evan is another thing I don’t understand. What is his role in the play I seem to be cast in?
“I’m trying to help him and you, Charlie. It may not seem that way, but I am. Colin’s my best friend and I want to see him happy.”
“And I’m the key to his happiness? Is that what you’re saying?” He doesn’t respond so I keep going. “Listen, Evan, I don’t have casual relationships with men and I’m not interested in starting one now. Don’t push him to me because you think it might be good for him; try to think about me too as you map out Colin’s path. I won’t let him play with me. I know for certain I deserve more than that.”
Evan’s eyes widen and without another word I slip back to the party, side-stepping Tim who’s waiting near the entrance, hoping to get swallowed back up by the crowd to become invisible.
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