“I won’t blow it, Dad. That I can promise you. I’ll be back tomorrow to settle you in a little more. Get some rest.”
Dad nodded without looking back. Not exactly warm, but it was nice not to see a sneer across his mouth for a change. I tried to shake off the self-loathing and think of today as a good day, maybe even a step in the right direction.
I pulled out my phone when I got into the hallway.
Me: I love you, Daisy. So much.
Paige: Found my note Mr. OCD? You OK babe?
Me: Yeah I’m great. I’ll see you tonight. And I mean it. No gym and straight home.
Paige: You’re sexy when you’re bossy. Yes, sir ;)
Me: I’ll see you in a couple of hours. And do me a favor.
Paige: Sure, what?
Me: Make sure you’re naked by the time I get there.
It was official. And scary as hell. My best friend was a father.
Jack Anthony Taylor, Jr. was finally here, and a buster at nine pounds and seven ounces. I couldn’t figure out how a little bit of a thing like Ellie carried all that baby. I closed the office early and headed over to the hospital to see the little guy we’d all been waiting for. As Paige and I traipsed down the hallway to Ellie’s room, I gazed up and said silent thanks to God, my mother, and whomever else was listening that Jack got to hold his son. Today was something that none of us would take for granted.
Ellie was cuddled next to Jack in bed, looking blissfully happy but exhausted. When Jack’s sleepy gaze met mine, he grinned. Paige squealed as she rushed over to the baby’s cradle.
“Oh my God. He’s so beautiful. Congratulations, guys! Jack, he looks so much like Grandpa! It’s a little spooky . . .”
Jack nodded. “I told Ellie the same thing. I think it’s the nose. I should tell Dad to bring horse racing betting stubs to put in his hands so we have the full effect.”
Paige laughed. “So true. Can I hold him?”
“Of course you can. You’re his godmother,” Ellie told Paige in a strained whisper. Paige’s head jerked in her direction.
“Really?” Her voice cracked as her jaw trembled.
Jack gave her a sideways glance. “Stop blubbering. Who else would we have? I figured we’d have Evan be godfather. Who needs Captain Caveman raising a ruckus in St. Ann’s if you have to stand next to another man?” Jack smirked at me.
“Yeah? Whatever the reason, I’m honored, bro. Thank you.” Jack nodded and looked away. I knew him well enough to realize when his mind was elsewhere. I’m sure it was bittersweet to gaze at your newborn son, and not be sure if you’d be around to see him grow up.
“Actually, Paige, before you pick him up, could you help me to the bathroom? C-sections really suck.” Ellie gingerly scooted to the edge of the bed and attempted to get up. Jack lifted her by the arm.
Paige grabbed her hand. “Sure, I’ll just pretend it’s the day after your bachelorette party again.” Ellie winced as she chuckled. Paige kissed her forehead and led her to the far side of the room.
I strolled over to the bed as Jack stood up.
“Congratulations, Pop!” I shook his hand and he pulled me into a hug.
“Thanks, man.” He crept over to his son’s cradle and lifted him up. “I always wanted a son. I would have been happy with a healthy baby of course, but I had big plans for a boy. Growing up, I got stuck with a whiny girl who shoved her My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kid dolls in my face. Paige even put GI Joe into Barbie’s convertible. Nothing was sacred.” I laughed as Jack settled into the rocking chair in the corner. His eyes never left his son. “My Dad and I had the best time together when I was in little league. He stayed on the field with the other fathers and got excited over every little stupid thing I did. When I first hit the ball off the tee, then when I got my first real hit off a pitch. Poor bastard practically jumped up and down when I crossed home plate.” I chuckled and nodded.
“Sounds like your dad.”
Jack let out a long sigh, still fixated on Jack Junior.
“As his godfather, you need to make every single game. Hopefully, you don’t suck as bad at baseball as you did at hockey and could show him how to hold his bat.” My stomach sank as I realized what he was trying to tell me. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. “Very funny. I played little league, too. I’m sure I have a little to offer. Besides, you’ll be the one on the field—”
Jack lifted his gaze to me. A tear escaped the corner of his eye. “Drug stopped working. My borrowed time is going to be coming to a close sooner than we thought.”
I swallowed and fought to steady myself. I knew this day was coming. I even tried to prep myself for it. No matter what you do, you’re never ready to lose the best friend you ever had, especially when he had so much to live for.
We stared at each other for a long minute. Jack shook his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
“Does Ellie know?”
“No. Not yet. I’ll tell her once we get Jack Junior home. I wanted to at least give her this. Let her be purely happy just for a little while. We’ve talked about this over and over again, and we knew the drug was a long shot. My girl is a tough little thing. Why I love her so fucking much . . .” Jack’s voice broke as he shut his eyes.
“Sorry, little guy. Daddy said a bad word. Don’t tell on me, okay?” Jack Junior wrapped his little hand around his father’s index finger and squeezed. Jack’s face broke into a sad smile. “Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.”
I stepped over to Jack and put my hand on his shoulder. “Every game. I promise. Whenever he needs me, I’ll always be there. I know it’s not much . . .”
Jack looked up and shook his head. “It’s everything. Thank you.”
The bathroom door squeaked open. Ellie trudged out with Paige by her side. My chest constricted at the smiles on their faces as they giggled getting her back into bed.
“Okay, now it’s my turn.” Paige jogged over to Jack and scooped the baby out of his arms. She caught my gaze and I nodded back. How was I going to tell her? I hoped Jack would do it, but I had the awful feeling she would be getting the news from me. I had to break her heart, and it killed me.
I wrapped my arms around Paige’s waist as she cradled the baby in her arms. I bent over to rest my head on her shoulder. We laughed as his eyes opened wide, almost as if he recognized us. My godson would never remember what an awesome father he had, and it pissed me off.
So many people would be devastated: Ellie, John, Marie, Paige—the list seemed almost endless. The good really did die young, and it made absolutely no fucking sense. For the second time in my life, I wished I could spit in God’s face.
“I’m sorry I’m such a drag lately. You must be bored out of your mind.” I snuggled into Evan’s side as we lounged on my couch. I fought the urge to fall asleep. For the past few weeks, I’d had about enough energy to make a nightlight flicker.
“Daisy, stop it. I’m not bored.” Evan pulled me closer and rubbed my back. I lay my head on his hard but very cozy chest. “I’m never bored with you—but I am a little worried. You’ve been sick on and off for a while now.” Evan furrowed his brow as he gazed down on me.