As Jessica made her way out the door, I had the feeling we’d end up working for her. Jack was right, the place was a mess and all the billing was late. If she wanted to take over and boss us around, she could have at it.
“You’re a good partner, Evan. Not that I had any doubt, but you really stepped up. In case I haven’t said it, thank you.” Speaking without getting out of breath was becoming taxing for Jack, along with everything else.
“Yeah, you thanked me, many times. Nothing you wouldn’t do for me. I owe you and your family so much. Without all of you . . .”
“Without us nothing. We offered you a place to go when you wanted to clear your head. A lesser person would have let his life go to shit and use what happened to you as an excuse. You didn’t, because that’s not who you are. Glad I hung around long enough to see you finally get the girl.” Jack laughed and lowered his head.
I let out a long sigh. “Well I don’t have her yet”
“Dude, trust me. You do. What’s the sad puppy dog face for? You make everyone around you nauseated with how into each other you both are.”
“I almost proposed on Christmas.”
“Holy shit.” Jack leaned back in his chair as his jaw dropped. “What do you mean by ‘almost’?”
I put my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes. “It sort of . . . came out during . . .”
“Please, I’m too weak to throw up. I told you, bro. I don’t need details.” I laughed for the first time all day.
“Since we’re on the subject.” Jack folded his arms. “What stopped you?”
That was a great question. I loved Paige, so much it scared the shit out of me. But the urge to ask her to marry me during sex was something I never expected. Thank God I bit my lip and stopped myself. What if I scared her off?
“It’s only been a few months.”
“You’ve known Paige since we were kids, and have been in love with her for most of that time. Time doesn’t mean shit when you know what you want. If it’s right, you take it. My aunt is going to make some mother-in-law. Good luck with that.” I chuckled as I nodded.
“I’m going to be short a best man.” Jack nodded in reply as he pulled himself up and trudged over to my desk.
“I’ll be there somehow. I wouldn’t miss it. Maybe they’ll let me turn water into wine for you like Jesus did at that wedding. You’d save on the bill.”
I shook my head. “You would be ballsy enough to ask to do that.”
“Ellie’s coming to pick me up. I’m like Aunt Rose and can’t stay awake at the wheel. Just . . . remember what I said, okay?”
“Yeah, you go ahead, I’ll lock up here.”
Jack smiled and let out a deep breath as he looked around.
“Someone is going to clean all this shit up. I’m so fucking excited.” He turned to me and raised his eyebrows. “Go see your girl. It can wait, all this.”
“Quite the philosopher lately.” I smirked and Jack laughed.
“Yeah. Cancer made me Yoda. Who knew? I mean it, though. Go.”
“I will Jedi master.” I gave him a fake salute.
“I wish I had the fucking force right now. It could put me in Ellie’s car without having to walk.”
“You need help, man?”
Jack shook his head and put his hand up. “As long as I’m still breathing, I’m living, right?”
“Right.” I returned his sad smile.
Jack lumbered out the door and I picked up my cell to call my father.
“Hey, Pop. How are you feeling? Listen I have a question for you. Is mom’s engagement ring still in the safety deposit box?”
Hospice. The doctors could bullshit us all they wanted, tell us this was a good thing; how Jack would get the best care at home and would be kept as comfortable as possible. But we all knew what the word meant. This was the home stretch. There was nothing after hospice.
Jack’s bedroom turned into to a fully functional hospital room with home care bed and nursing around the clock. Thankfully, my godson was only a few months old and wouldn’t remember any of this. Seeing Jack unable to get out of bed, or even keep his eyes open for long, killed me. I dreaded coming every day, but there was no way I could not go. I spent a few hours with him and gave Ellie a little break. I worried constantly about her, too. She seemed so stoic, almost like a machine. Once she actually let herself feel, I was terrified it would break her.
Every day I said my good-byes, got in my car, and wondered if that was the last time I’d see my cousin alive.
The fact I was bone tired and full of aches and pains each morning didn’t help. There were no conclusive results in all those blood tests I took before the holidays other than a high level of inflammation. Dr. Ramirez asked about any stressors in my life that I could avoid that may be causing my symptoms.
I’d love to not have someone close to me die a little each day before my eyes, but unfortunately that wasn’t an option. Plus, I knew it was more than just simply stress. Stress alone didn’t make a fever spike to over one hundred degrees a few nights each week. So she took more blood, sent it for more testing and now I was waiting with no answers, again.
“You got skinny, cuz. You’re not doing that stupid cleanse again are you?”
Jack’s raspy voice was full of sleep. I rested on the futon next to his hospital bed and watched TV as Jack drifted in and out of slumber.
“No.” I laughed at the irony. “I didn’t need the gym, or weird cleanses. I just needed to get pneumonia. Best diet ever.” I gave Jack a sarcastic thumbs up. He shook his head as he pulled himself up. I jumped up from where I lay down to adjust the pillows behind his back.
“I don’t like that you’ve been sick for this long. I know Evan is worried as all hell. Promise me you’ll see another doctor.” I chuckled at Jack’s wrinkled brow.
“Don’t worry about me; I’m fine. You just get . . .” Better? Was that what I was about to say? Even after watching the harsh reality become more real by the minute, my toes still liked to wade in denial.
“Evan likes to baby me. You should see him get all worked up every time I even clear my throat.” Jack lay back on the pillows, still glowering at me. “It’s pretty adorable, but we’ll figure it out. I went for more blood tests and should know something soon. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Of course I worry about you. I’ve worried about you ever since I can remember. It’s a fucking full time job since you’re always in trouble.” Jack raised his eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes.
“Stop being dramatic.” I sat back down and leaned my elbow on the edge of his bed and to rest my head on my hands; I narrowed my eyes.
“You were always in some kind of trouble. Even when we were little.” Jack laughed. “Remember that one Christmas Eve, we were maybe seven, you snuck into the living room and opened two presents after Aunt Tess told you not to. Then she wouldn’t let you open presents at all until almost the end of the night.”
“You used to open them, too! I was just unlucky enough to get caught.” Jack cracked up at me to the point of almost choking. I stood and patted his back until the coughing subsided. He was still laughing when I adjusted the nasal cannula that provided him oxygen.
“It’s all in the execution, Paige. I did it when my parents were sleeping—with my Cub Scout knife, and slid the packages back in. You tore everything apart, then said you had no idea how that happened. That maybe—” Jack clutched his chest and started laughing again, “Maybe Santa just forgot to wrap those. You shamed blonde girls all over the world that Christmas.”
“I thought you were so mad at me that year. They wouldn’t let you open your presents until the end of the night, too.”
“I wasn’t mad. I was allowed but I told my dad I didn’t want to open them until you could. I didn’t want to make you feel even worse.” Jack bit his lip as he looked at me. I sucked in my cheeks to keep the tears prickling at my eyelids from spilling over. Jack had always done things like that for me. I would never know about every time he protected me or looked out for me. All I knew now, is that he wouldn’t be around to do it anymore.