Four years later
Sneaking up on her was always too easy. I watched that cute blonde brow furrow over those big green eyes as she focused her heart out on something, completely oblivious to my approach.
“Gotcha!” I lifted her up by the waist and buried my face in her neck as I tickled her side.
“Stop it, Daddy!” Lucy tried to squirm out of my arms. I set her back down on her seat in the bleachers and kissed her cheek. “You like my picture?” If you gave my daughter crayons and paper, she was happily occupied for hours.
“I do. Maybe when you grow up, you can make pictures on the computer like Mommy.” I sat next to her and pulled her on my lap. She was my kid and all, but I thought she had exceptional drawing skills for a three-year-old. She was smart and beautiful, just like her mother.
“Hey, I think you’re needed on the field, babe.” I groaned at my wife as I raked my hands down my face.
“This would be a lot more fun if Jack didn’t hate it out there so much. He spends more time kicking dirt and picking flowers than caring where the ball is.” I lifted Lucy off my lap and stood.
This was Jack Junior’s first year in T-ball, and I was fairly certain his rookie year was also his retirement. Every game, I stood on the field with the other fathers, and every game, I heard a plethora of excuses from my godson as to why he needed to stay in the dugout. Ellie wanted to take him out, but I convinced her to let him finish the season. I held out hope that he’d maybe start to like it, especially when I remembered Jack talk about little league. Today was his last game, and I was ashamed at the relief I felt.
“C’mon.” Paige kissed my cheek. “One more game, and he can pick up his little trophy and you are done.”
“Okay, okay.” I turned my head to kiss Paige’s lips and made my way onto the field. I glanced over to third base and saw Jack kicking up a dirt storm with his cleats. Instead of a ball player, he looked like Pigpen from the Peanuts gang.
I shook my head and kept walking.
“Evan?”
“Yeah, Daisy.” I stopped as she came closer to whisper in my ear.
“You look hot on that field. Like, really hot. That tight T-shirt sticking to all the right places, legs full of muscle. After the game, you just might score yourself.” She bit my shoulder as she wiggled her eyebrows.
I let out a long sigh and shook my head before I kissed her forehead and jogged away.
“What?” she called behind me.
“I know what you’re doing. Playing dirty. Not very nice, Daisy.” She cocked an eyebrow at me as she took a seat next to Lucy.
Paige wanted another baby. We were shocked when shortly after we got married, we found out Paige was pregnant. Although Dr. Stephens wasn’t too concerned, I was terrified her entire pregnancy. We had a good high risk doctor and for the most part, Paige had an uneventful, textbook pregnancy. I almost started to relax until Paige’s water broke at thirty-eight weeks and she needed an emergency C-section. Dr. Stephens warned about the stress of pregnancy causing a lupus flare, and I was scared to death that would do it. Both my girls ended up fine, but I didn’t want to risk Paige’s health. I’m sure most guys wouldn’t think their hot wife trying to seduce them twenty-four/seven was a hardship, but Paige was the center of everything. The lupus had been under control for a number of years, but it was still there. If there was even the slightest risk of her getting sick again, I wanted no part of it. My Daisy was too important.
Not that I didn’t love being a dad. Lucy Jacqueline Jacobs was the light of both our lives. She was a little pip squeak with a huge personality, and always getting into trouble. In about ten years or so, I would have my hands full.
“Mommy, I picked a flower for you!” Jack ran over to Ellie behind the fence, walking right over a ground ball. It was frustrating as hell, but I couldn’t help but smile at the joy in Ellie’s face. I’m sure his dad would overlook his lack of interest in baseball if he kept his mom beaming like that.
Finally, the last little boy rounded the bases and the season was over. I gave Jack a piggy back ride over to where the family was sitting. For a little boy who hated to play, he had quite the entourage at every game.
“Hey, big guy. That’s a great trophy.” John was genuinely excited. Jack shrugged it off and was happy to be resting from his slow stroll from third base to home plate. “Next year you have to try out to get on the team. Think you’ll play next year?”
Tess huffed. “Maybe if he brings a deck of cards.”
Paige scowled at Tess while I laughed. “Mom! Don’t say that.” Lucy rested on Paige’s hip as she looked between her mother and her grandmother, bickering as usual.
“Oh Paige, please. John, this isn’t his thing. Maybe he can try soccer. Or cub scouts. They sit a lot. He’ll like that.”
I set Jack on the ground and kneeled in front of him. “You made it to the end, dude. I’m proud of you.” His little face lit up.
“Thanks, Uncle Evan. I don’t have to come back do I? It’s torture.” I chuckled at his honesty.
“No, all over.”
“Thank God. Can Lucy and I get a pretzel?” Whenever he asked for something, he always asked if Lucy could get it, too. He looked out for his little cousin, and I loved to watch history repeat itself.
“Sure, buddy.”
Jack took Lucy by the hand to the concession stand as we followed behind them.
“Thank you for doing this for him,” Ellie whispered to me. “It meant a lot to Jack.”
“Part of the godfather obligations. I was very happy to do it.”
“I have quite the collection of dandelions this season, so it wasn’t for nothing.”
“No.” I squeezed her hand. “It sure wasn’t.” She squeezed my hand back and jogged ahead to catch up with the kids.
I put my arm around Paige’s shoulders as she snuggled into my side.
“I’ll break you eventually,” she whispered in my ear as she bit my earlobe.
“Daisy,” I huffed at her. “I’m sorry. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, and things got a little too interesting when we had Lucy.”
“What happened with Lucy happens in a lot of pregnancies, even the ones with moms who don’t have lupus. What happened to wanting a ton of kids?”
“I want my wife. We have Lucy.”
Paige shrugged. “She’s an only child, like we all were. I’d love to give her a brother or sister.” Jack took the pretzel Ellie handed him and gave it all to Lucy without a second thought. I nodded at them.
“I think she has a good brother in place already.” I took a deep breath. “I can’t say no to you, and you know that, which makes what you’re doing mean.”
Paige cupped my cheek. “I’ll be fine. Dr. Stephens isn’t worried. We can’t be afraid to live our lives, babe.”
I glared at my wife. She would always win.
“All right. I’ll go see Dr. Stephens with you to talk about it, but if there is even the slightest risk or problem . . .”
“I know, babe. I’ll drop it and it will be just the three of us. And I’ll be okay with that.” She flung her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine. “And if we have a boy, he doesn’t have to play T-ball unless he really wants to.”
“Thank you. Oh, I almost forgot.” I dug into my duffel bag. “Look what we found in left field.” I tucked a daisy behind her ear.
“Thank you.” Paige wrapped her arms around my waist. “I love you, babe.”
I kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer. “I love you too, Daisy.”
I supposed my wife was right. It was silly to dwell on the what ifs and what could go wrong. That wasn’t living. A wise old friend used to say live for today, because that’s all you really have.
I gazed at my wife next to me and my daughter giggling up ahead.
Today, I had everything.
The End
Lupus is a serious illness that can take years to accurately diagnose.
For more information, please visit The Lupus Foundation at www.lupus.org