“Let’s not gamble on that.”
“Of course not,” I said. That would be something. Accidentally summoning a horrible demon into the world.
“And… that wasn’t what I was getting at, Blake. There’s an Other you do have a strong connection to.”
“Which?”
“Me. We’re connected. Maybe… maybe you filled that void with some of the vestige.”
“I’m not sure I like that,” I said.
“No,” Rose said. “That’s bad on a lot of levels.”
“A lot of levels,” I agreed.
“A vestige is like a house of cards. You take out one piece, and it folds into itself.”
“And if you didn’t fold,” I said.
“No,” Rose said. “And I get what it could mean. Us being enemies. You fighting me, because I’m moving in? Taking over?”
“Involuntarily,” I said. I very nearly made it a question.
“Yes. Involuntarily.”
I looked down at the tattoos. I had to admit, I was relieved to hear her say it.
“Let’s not pretend this is a surprise. Grandmother wanted a female heir.”
“I guess it isn’t a surprise,” Rose said. “If this is what’s happening.”
I gripped the edge of the table, staring at the surface. Cognitively, I knew I should be finishing the bottle, that I should be preparing against Laird.
Emotionally, though…
“Rose,” I said. “We’ve been cooperating more, haven’t we? We’re more or less on the same page?”
“More or less.”
“Tell me, straight up, that you aren’t my enemy.”
“I- I’m not your enemy, Blake. But please, can we not do this? Demanding proof, I don’t want to get into something this emotional and sensitive if you’re like this.”
“Like what?”
“Fragile? No, that’s the wrong word. You’re… perched in a precarious spot. Where a push or a pull could send you over the edge.”
“I’m… feeling more grounded, actually,” I said. “Can I trust you?”
“I don’t like this, Blake. You’re implying you don’t trust me, if you have to ask. I’m not so weak that my feelings would be hurt, but this is the sort of attitude that builds resentment.”
“Please get the fuck over it,” I said. Still staring down at the table. “This is how this stuff is played, isn’t it? Oaths and truths.”
“But if you start second guessing me until I start making statements, it’s only one small step to second guessing those statements, thinking about the wording…”
“Can I trust you, Rose?”
“Yes, Blake. We’re connected, maybe to a dangerous degree. Your survival is mine. Like Maggie said, I harbor no ill will against you. I’m your ally.”
“And you’ve never harbored ill-will against me in the past?”
“I’ve… I’ve hated you, honestly. I’ve been angry at you. I can’t answer that question.”
“Have you ever conspired against me? Sabotaged me?”
“No more than you have against me.”
“That is not an answer,” I growled the words. “Fuck, Rose, that’s the sort of non-answer that makes me paranoid.”
I heard her take a deep breath, sighing audibly. When she met my eyes, she looked angry. “No, Blake. I have not sabotaged you or conspired against you in any meaningful way. No way except the little things you’re already aware of, like trying to get you to read that dull ledger of deaths.”
“Okay. Thank you. That’s what I needed to hear.”
“Why, Blake? I thought we’ve established this stuff. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking the stakes are high and they’re getting higher. Laird’s about to mess with us, and he seemed confident that it would be a real problem. I know, now, that there’s no way I can be strong enough to tackle all of this alone. That’s part of the reason I was quizzing you. I need to know for absolute sure that you’re in my camp.”
“I just wish you hadn’t had to ask,” she said.
“That’s not a reflection of you. It’s this situation. I’d be a fool if I trusted anyone. Maggie proved that.”
“You can’t harbor resentment like that. We have enough problems without grudges.”
“No. Not resentment. Just… caution. Listen, Rose. I hereby swear-”
“Stop,” she interrupted me.
“No. I hereby swear that I’m going to help you, in exchange for your loyalty and support. We’re going to find a way to get you out of that mirror world. I will make sacrifices if I have to, short of actually standing by to let any transition happen. I so swear, to you, and to anything that hears.”
I could feel a connection forming.
“You did not need to say that,” she said. She looked visibly upset.
“I’ve already said something similar. But I need you to feel, in your heart, that I’ve got your back, that I’m an ally. I won’t expect reciprocation.”
“Damn you, Blake. How am I supposed to not say something? Yes. I will help you. I will do what I can to protect you from whatever’s going on with you, good or bad. I swear.”
“If you can’t, if this is really a one way street, can you do me a favor?”
“I think I could.”
“Pass on word to my friends. Let them know I’m gone, and that I was thinking about them. They’re really the only family I’ve ever had, and I kind of owe them a great deal. Not in a mystic way, but a very mundane, very important way.”
“I so swear,” she said.
It sounded a hell of a lot more like a heartfelt oath than the one she’d just made. I exhaled slowly. The relief I felt was palpable.
There were some horrifying things out there, but the thing that had weighed on me, lurked in the back of my mind, was the fear that I wouldn’t be able to cover that one base.
In a way, the threat of being replaced was less scary than death, however torturous the transition might be. Because if I were replaced, at the very least I’d be remembered by Rose.
I picked up the bottle, and started getting the tape down.
When I finally broke the silence, “This ‘cannot lie’ thing is a weakness, it’s a drawback, a complication, a mess of traps. But it’s also a tool. You can achieve a lot with just words. Swaying people, making an alliance stronger.”
“Yeah,” Rose said.
Odd, that she seemed so diminished, when I felt more energized. Was there something to that?
I continued, “…and even for ourselves, knowing the words have a certain weight, an oath is a constant reminder. It shapes how we think and how we’re going to handle things. Heck, oaths have held a lot of weight in the past, when they weren’t arbitrarily magically binding.”
“You’re wanting to shape how we think?”
“I’ve made an oath. I’m going to hold to that, because I have to. We need the goodwill it gets us with the universe, for one thing, and I can’t afford what it costs me if I don’t follow through. Anything I read, now, I’m going to view in the light of your situation. Maybe, hopefully, you’ll do the same for me.”