When we were well out of earshot, I groaned. “I can’t believe I washed that ink off my hands.”
“You didn’t know what to do with it. It could have been dangerous.”
“But it was useful. Fuck me, I left the mortar and pestle sitting on the bottom of the sink while I washed my hands, I rinsed away the remaining ink. I could have used that. Maybe done my hands.”
“Why? What are you thinking? And please don’t make this one of those things where you only explain things at the last second, in general terms, and leave it up to me to say yes or no.”
“I’ve only done that once, haven’t I?”
“Just now, you mean? Or when you were dealing with the bird-skulls and you threw the stone onto the ice? Or when you went up to the front of the church and announced your deals?”
“Damn it,” I said.
“Given the state you’re in, I’m betting you want to swear you won’t do it again. Don’t. But keep it in mind, especially if something comes up, and the tables are turned?”
“I think I could do that,” I said, speaking slowly and carefully. “Why do I feel like you already know what that something is?”
“Because I do.”
“That’s ominous,” I said.
“How does it feel, Blake? Not fun, is it?”
“When I do it, it’s not intentional,” I said.
“This was. But we’re aiming to trust each other more, and this is one step in that. It’s something we need to test, and that test might distract from whatever you’ve got going on in your head right now.”
“It might,” I said.
“So let’s hammer this out, first. No more sudden announcements about what we’re doing. Where does all this lead?”
“We’ve got Briar Girl on our side, pretty much. She doesn’t want to kill us. We could probably negotiate for a vote against execution, in a pinch. The door’s open.”
“Yes.”
“In terms of Laird, well, I’m thinking we need to pay a visit to Maggie next. You’re right. She was the middleman. Talking to Briar Girl was a bit of a test, as it wound up. Dealing with the girl who tried to kill me. Kill us. I’d like to think I handled that pretty amicably.”
“Better than I might have,” Rose said. “I never had many friends.”
“Well, now we can deal with another person who’s done a reprehensible act against us, only this one deceived us to our faces. We’re going to get Maggie’s help. Then maybe we talk to Mara or Johannes, if we can wrangle it. I don’t know where they are or how we could get in contact with them, and I’m not sure they’re the types where I want to shout their name and see if they answer. My gut tells me that’s the wrong way to go about it.”
“You’re talking to the outliers. Why? Where does this lead?”
“Laird said he was aiming to do something tonight. I’m aiming to stop him.”
“Stop him?”
“Somehow. Interrupt the ritual, distract him, I don’t know. But this glamour thing is useful, because it’s a way we could maybe navigate the city. No connections tracking us, a different face… maybe I get closer to Laird.”
“Oh boy,” Rose said. “There are so many ways this can go wrong.”
“Which is why the next step is getting my face on,” I said. “Then we talk to Maggie. We need soldiers, and those paper goblins are sounding awfully good right now.”
“You’re expecting a fight?”
“I don’t know what to expect. How does a guy like Laird get revenge?”
“He doesn’t seem like the type for violence,” Rose said. “Is violence the answer?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But I wouldn’t mind dealing with him outside of his element. He probably knows his way around most of the scary stuff we could throw at him, but you don’t try to out-scheme the schemer. You do something like send twisted midget psychopaths to stab the schemer and leave him unable to think straight.”
“Midget is offensive.”
“I don’t think political correctness matters when you’re talking about goblins.”
“Point,” she admitted. “You really want to murder Laird?”
“Something like sending goblins to kill him. I’d settle for a little bloodletting. Or something to remove him from play. But we need him out of the picture. We need to destroy him, on some level, and we need to do the same for his family. You get that, right? We’re on the same page?”
“I hate the word ‘destroy’. But yes. It’s destroy or be destroyed.”
“Well said.”
“Hm,” Rose answered. “While you’re figuring out the glamour stuff, I might get to reading a book on it. Go in with our eyes open.”
“Good idea,” I said. I opened the door, and, without thinking, I held it open for Rose.
Nevermind that she wasn’t here.
“You keeping up with the reading?” she asked, apparently oblivious.
“Pretty well. I’ll need to sit down tonight to get more done, or devote a full day to it tomorrow.”
“Good,” she said.
Back in the kitchen, I went through all of the tools, getting the mortar and pestle, and emptying the residual, very diluted ink over my hands. I rubbed it into my arms.
I cut off all of the hair that had reached beyond the confines of the locket itself, and ground it up before creating a fresh batch of ink, but I balanced it out with more hair, rendering it thicker. I rubbed it into my face and rolled up my sleeves to get it along the length of my arms and get full coverage on my hands.
“I just realized I’m going to need your help on this, Rose,” I said. “I can’t see myself in the mirror.”
She was gone. Finding the book, no doubt.
I ran my hand along my arm, so the skin that stretched between thumb and index finger dragged along the surface.
I willed it to change.
The effect was minimal at best.
What had Ms. Lewis told me about the Faerie?
Self delusion.
I did it again. This time, I relaxed and let myself believe it would change. A leap of faith. I visualized my hand peeling away the paler skin, revealing my normal skin tone beneath.
It was eerie, seeing it take hold. My tattoos as they’d been before, less beautiful, but still gorgeous and entirely mine.
I’d heard two things from two people. The Briar Girl had told me I could use shaping to teach myself to deal with any hostile incursion or infection. Ms. Lewis had said something else, warning Rose about the fragile nature of glamours.
If this broke apart, would I lose ground in this war against whatever was going on with my body? Some spirits or some part of Rose that was bleeding into me, taking advantage of the personal power I’d spent?
I ran my hands along my face and over my hair. I couldn’t see the change, but I didn’t doubt it had worked.
That doubt could be dangerous and costly.
I checked the closet, and started rooting through it for anything I could wear. My grandmother’s coats, spring jackets, rain jackets, umbrellas…
Nothing.
I was debating wearing my winter jacket when I heard Rose. A yelp.
“What?”
“You startled me.”
“I look different?”