“No. Very much alive.”
He nodded. “You’re lucky.”
I frowned. “Am I? Because it’s a quiet sort of hell, knowing you owe someone everything, and once in a while you have to look them in the eye.”
He nodded. His expression didn’t change.
I shivered. “Well, this was fun. Another death threat onto the pile, and I can’t even bring myself to hate you.”
“I appreciate that,” he said.
“Don’t,” I responded.
He didn’t flinch.
I wanted him to retaliate, to fight back. I didn’t want to fight, but I needed goddamn cues to find my way through the conversation.
In a way, he seemed just as inhuman as some of the Fae I’d encountered. The swordswoman had been more animated, had at least had an iota of passion.
Andy wasn’t even pretending.
“I’m cold,” I said. “I’m leaving.”
I turned to go. I heard his footstep behind me.
Following me.
“Yeah, I don’t think you’re hearing me,” I said. “I’m going this way. I’m not keen on having you tag along.”
“I’ve been asked to keep an eye on you.”
“Why?”
“Because Laird Behaim and Sandra Duchamp are interested.”
“Is he trying something?” I asked.
“He’s preoccupied,” Andy responded.
I reached for my hatchet, touching the handle.
“Bound spirit?” he asked. “Wraith? Ghost? Elemental? I’m actually pretty good at dealing with those. I’m kind of shit when it comes to fighting, but if you try using that, then you’re going to be down one trinket, and that looks like pretty intricate work.”
“Blake,” Rose said. “No fighting. It’s not the time, and we can’t lose June when we haven’t even used her.”
“Assuming he’s not just lying to our faces,” I said. I can’t fight even if I have to, I thought. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I felt almost like I’d retained some of the negative qualities of the six year old. I didn’t feel strong.
“I’m not a threat,” Andy said. “Take this for what it’s worth. Laird sent me to keep an eye on you. I only do so many favors for him a month… and doing this harmless favor means I’m not taking a job to kill you.”
“But you’re still reporting back to Laird,” I said, as I turned and started walking. I tried to keep my stride going, despite the fatigue I felt. He was shorter than me, burdened with that backpack, and I didn’t remember him being particularly fit.
If I could leave him behind, all the better.
“Keep an eye on him,” I told Rose. I flipped the mirror pendant around so it hung between my shoulders.
“How log have you been doing this?” Rose asked. It took me a second to realize she wasn’t talking to me.
“Two years,” I heard Andy behind me.
“Not long.”
“Feels like a while,” he replied.
“Can we not talk to the assassin in the funny hat?” I asked.
Rose ignored me. “What gets someone like you working for someone like Laird?”
There was no answer.
“Power? Wealth?”
“Responsibility, I already said.”
“Is there a finite amount of responsibility, Andy? Is there a point where you’ve paid your dues and you’re free of all this?”
“That’s the second question you’ve asked that I already answered. No. I could go my entire life and not pay them back.”
“That’s a hell of a burden,” Rose said.
“Yeah. I’m not dumb, you know. I’ve faced down worse manipulators than you.”
“I’m not trying to manipulate you. I’m trying to figure you out. Do you think your departed acquaintances would want you to do this? To spend your life indentured to them?”
“I know they wanted it. They said so. That they needed me to handle it, for their sakes.”
“Uh huh,” Rose said.
I trudged along, doing my best to leave him behind. My leg was already raw where the boot was rubbing my jeans against my leg.
“If the tables were turned, knowing what you know, would you ask them to don the mantle? Kill people and feel horrible about it? Have nightmares?” Rose asked.
“No,” Andy said. “But that’s me, my personality.”
“If they’re asking you to commit your life to something you couldn’t imagine yourself asking someone to do… it doesn’t sound like they were really your friends. It sounds like they were using you.”
“Hey, Thorburn,” Andy called out. “Your pet is starting to irritate me.”
“Good,” I said.
“What I’m thinking,” Rose said, “And I don’t know enough about Blake’s situation to say for his case, but if you’re that indebted to someone, and you devote your life to staking vampires and burning witches-”
“You’re oversimplifying,” Andy said.
“Simple is good. That stuff isn’t the point. You’re devoting your life to this stuff… what if you die? I mean, it’s inevitable, right? What if you die, and you find yourself in the afterlife. You meet these people again. You obviously didn’t pay them back for whatever they did for you. Do they look at you with disappointment?”
“Probably,” Andy said.
“That’s sad,” Rose said. “Do you have Eva’s support?”
I thought of the vision.
“No,” I said, automatically.
“No,” he agreed.
“Is anyone backing you up?” Rose asked. “Do you have a listening ear? A confidant?”
“No,” Andy said.
I glanced back. His eyes were downcast, his expression serious. Was he bothered, or was he more focused on not stepping on ice and losing his footing?
“That’s awfully hard,” Rose said.
“Spare me the false sympathy,” Andy said. “I’ve said it before, I’ve gone up against better manipulators.”
“And none of them have tried to see what’s going on in your head?”
“Some have. Some have looked. Doesn’t matter in the end.”
“Did any offer to be that listening ear? The confidant?”
“Hm?”
“Hey, Rose,” I said. “Don’t you think befriending the dorky witch-hunting kid should be a collaborative decision?”
“You can make friends and decide who you do and don’t want to forgive,” Rose said. “But I’m still a free being, more or less, and I can decide who I do and don’t want to interact with.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that,” I said. My legs were burning now. I wondered if he was getting tired.
“I’m not looking to make friends,” Andy said.
“I’m not looking to be your friend either,” Rose responded. “I am offering to hear you out, if you need it. There have to be points where you’re feeling lower than low, Andy. Where you want to cry or go crazy or something. Now, instead of getting to that point and having nowhere to turn, you can turn to me.”
“And I have one more reason to feel bad when and if I have to kill your master, removing you from the picture as well?”
“Ahem,” Rose said. “I’m a free being. Present stuck-in-a-mirror circumstances excepted. And if you feel horrible, then good. You deserve to. I said I’d hear you out, I didn’t say I’d lie to you or go easy on you.”