“Sure,” I said. “I’m actually kind of itching to read something, so to speak. Rose is the only one with free access to our library right now.”
“Right,” he said. “You have wire cutters? My battery’s fucked.”
“Wire cutters,” I said, “Yeah.”
From planning to the practical.
■
Movement stirred me from sleep. I wasn’t sure when I’d drifted off, or even when I’d taken a seat by the wall, but I had.
Alexis was standing, and in the doing, she was jostling Tiff, who sat next to me.
I could dimly remember the bit from before we’d fallen asleep. I’d finished fixing up the bike as much as I could, and Fell had been only partially done, giving me only a glare in answer when I offered help. I’d seated myself against the wall, offering some murmured words of reassurance to Tiff, who had been uneasy even in sleep. When Tiff had leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder, I’d stayed where I was.
There were things I’d wanted to do, preparations to make, but… fuck it, I hadn’t wanted to disturb her sleep. I’d fucked up her life enough as it was.
Joel had told me to be selfish sometimes, and I’d listened. I kind of regretted that now.
Somewhere along the line, sitting still, exhausted enough to not care about the immediate presence of another person in my personal space, I’d joined her in dozing off.
Now Alexis was heading out. Ty and Fell were already in the car.
Alexis raised her hand in a wave. I raised mine.
The car moved on, leaving on Tiff and I in the dark garage.
A good ten minutes passed, my mind whirling, trying to piece together events.
Tiff stirred, then mumbled, “sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
“‘Lexis said you don’t like touching,” she mumbled, barely understandable.
She moved her head away.
I took that as my cue to rise.
Evan was on the workbench, looking down at the sword. He looked up at me as I passed.
“Tell her where I am if she wakes up?”
“Okay.”
I headed into the back office, searching the space.
I found Rose in the women’s bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She was silent.
“Are we still… in a bad place?”
“No. Yes. Kind of.”
“Aren’t you guaranteed to lie if you answer like that?”
“I’m telling the truth. All three are true.”
“Ah.”
“Blake… I’m scared as fuck. I’m paralyzed, trapped, and being caught by Conquest, made to talk, you constantly doing stuff when I’m not there… I’m helpless.”
“I know,” I said.
“You don’t.”
“I know more than you think,” I said.
“Blake… you need me strong, and I need me strong.”
She moved a book so I could see it through the mirror. A black cover.
“I want to summon something.”
6.07
I was too tired to be surprised. I’d managed to grab some rest, and I was feeling more together, more connected to me. Having my bike and my friends at hand made all the difference. I didn’t want to let this sudden piece of what-the-fuckery screw that up and leave me confused and frustrated.
I made my way to a chair and sat.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll hear you out.”
“You told me that when you got a familiar, it would open doors for me. That I’d have the ability to affect the real world, and it would be something for the two of us. It didn’t really work out that way, did it? Evan’s yours.”
“I suppose he is.”
“I don’t have agency, Blake. I can make a difference, but it’s always filtered. I can break glass, and I can maybe stall a crowd of ghosts, but I’m… I’m just so frustrated, because I can’t take action A to achieve result B.”
“You want to summon something from one of Grandmother’s books, to give yourself that agency? To have hands in this world?”