“You want it?”
“No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m telling you that, in my eyes, you live a disappointed existence. A responsible one, but responsibility doesn’t nourish the soul, does it?”
“For some, it might.”
Rose seemed to consider that for a moment.
“Maybe you’re right. But for us? I don’t think it does.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“I’m suggesting that we could gamble. Strive to change the system, to put something in place and capitalize on it.”
“How?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but whatever we end up doing has to be better than this, doesn’t it?”
“You’re a diabolist. I’m not so sure you’re right. You could fill libraries with stories of how things could be worse.”
“Weigh the potential gains against the potential losses,” she said.
“What do we stand to gain?”
“You’re the broken clockwork soldier, going through the motions. Deviate from the path, and every living soul around you will work to get you back on track, so you’re following that set path of yours. Eventually, should you follow that path, you might be the leader of the Behaim family. If you were lucky, you might get ten or twenty years to lead the family as you wish. Am I wrong? Or has someone suggested a different path?”
“I’ve thought about the fact that I’m next in line, but it won’t be until my father dies… too far away to think about.”
“Think about it now. Think about the moment you’re sixty or so years old and you take that chair, a leadership position in the council… you’re finally free, in a sense, but you’ve forgotten how to act. What do you do?”
“You tell me. What do I do?”
“You default to what you know. You do what your father did and his grandfather did before him. You inject a small personal touch, a bit of your personality and preferences. Things change, but they change by inches over the course of generations. The cycle perpetuates itself. Those pressures you feel now? You take that path, clockwork soldier, and you may never escape them, not until you’re dead.”
“I’m starting to realize why we habitually avoid the Thorburns.”
“Tell me I’m wrong. That this doesn’t strike a chord and sound very much like the little voice of doubt in the back of your head.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong.”
She smiled.
“I am saying that I’d be a lot more eager to continue this conversation if you weren’t sounding an awful lot like a certain snake in a certain garden.”
“I’m offering you freedom. I’m offering you power. A chance to break that pattern. I won’t say it’s free of consequence, but the costs aren’t as high as you’d think.”
“How? And what do you get out of this?”
“The how is something I can explain soon. Me? I’m your inverse. I have no boundaries. I have rules I must obey, same as any practitioner, but I’m like a sheep without a pen, without a dog to bark at me and send me back to safety. I’m wandering without guidance, and periodically I run into trouble. I can weather my father’s anger. I can deal with my mother. But I can’t be alone any longer.”
“You want friendship? Or more like the other night?”
“I want both, or either. I want to make you an offer, where I shoulder the majority of the cost and the risk.”
He stared at the girl. She wore a jacket over her dress, with a satchel to hold her diary and quite possibly supplies. Blonde, very nearly pretty but not quite there, an intense expression on her face.
He had to remind himself of what she was.
“You’re a diabolist. Bargaining with you is one step removed from bargaining with them.”
“Yes,” she said. “But I think it’s worth it.”
“What is? Where does this go?”
“Changing the status quo. Breaking up the system.”
“How?” he asked, before he could regret voicing the question and giving any merit to this mad idea of hers.
“Meet me tonight,” she said.
She didn’t say where. He didn’t need to ask.
■
It was cooler than the other night, and Rose Thorburn wore a sweater over her dress, a row of buttons left undone. Her hair blew in the wind. The water crashed against dirt and roots. A short distance away, there was beach, and the crashes were even more dramatic.
“I want to possess you,” Rose Thorburn said.
It was a sentence with two interpretations, but the emphasis on possess made the meaning clear.
“What?“
“A light possession. It wouldn’t be anything too dangerous, not a demon. But I can use the material from my books… some of the best bindings you could hope to find.”
“Why?”
“Because it gives you the freedom you crave. It would be another spirit in your body, allowing you to shrug off the burdens your family would put on you. You could be stronger, faster to react. You could heal faster,” she said. She eyed his hand.
He grabbed the cast with his good hand. “You sound utterly insane.”
“I’m not. I’m very sane. Look, if you’re possessed, there’s nothing stopping you from working alongside me. A light possession, something that won’t make decisions for you, but if you get caught, then you blame the possession. You return to ordinary life.”
“And you?”
“I know the risk I’m taking. I was just in Montreal. I went to a school that had an Inquisitor on the staff. The risk I’m taking is bigger than anything you’d have to face.”
“Rose,” he said. He had to stop to take a breath, composing himself, picking his words and tone carefully. “I’m not even sure I like you. Respect? Maybe. Maybe I even understand you, on a basic level. But we’re too different.”
He could see how still she’d gotten. She held the tome against her chest, hugging it hard.
“You’re dangerous,” he said. “You’re… I’m not sure why you’d even reach out to me. Why me? Do you like me?”
“No. Yes, but not… not in the important way,” Rose said. “I’m desperate.”
“Desperate? Rose-”
“Not… not like that.”
“Why? Can’t you do what I’m going to do, and just grit your teeth through the bad parts of life?”
“Where to begin?” she asked. “God! I feel like I owe my family something. I feel like I need direction, a goal, but it’s impossible to go for it alone. I’m so scared that if I do something, try to make a change, then people are going to get hurt. I can’t lean on family, and a diabolist doesn’t get the luxury of friends, not unless they’re the kind of monster who can take it in stride when the bad stuff trickles down and starts to fall on those friends.”