“What if accepting you is the mistake?” she countered. “Given the choice, I’d rather do without. At least then the situation is clearer cut. I’m dealing with known quantities on one front, at headquarters. With these guys, with Mags when we need a liason or a message passed on. No others.”
I bristled, but there was nothing I could do.
I couldn’t reach out and act on that anger. Maybe a good thing.
“Alexis…” I started. I wasn’t sure how to finish.
“I’m sorry,” Alexis said. “I don’t know you.”
I flinched.
“I- I’m resisting every nurturing instinct I have, to care for the wounded and help those in need, because you’re definitely making me want to,” she said. “I dunno if knowing that helps.”
I shook my head. Definitely doesn’t.
You were the most important person in the world to me, before this started. But that wasn’t even real.
“What was I, here?” Tiff asked.
“A very recent leap of faith,” I said, glad for the chance to turn away from Alexis, to abandon that conversation before Alexis could unwittingly cut me too deep with her words.
“I’m not sure I get it,” Tiff said.
“If I’m not real, then you’re the first real friend I made, not some connection that got thrown together. You’re… not that different from me, in some ways. You’re the me I remember being a year and a bit ago, when Alexis helped me, and a part of me felt like helping her help you was a step on my personal road to fixing myself up. I trusted you like I’m asking Rose to trust me right now. I made that leap of faith.”
Rose didn’t say a thing, only watching.
I hated her in that moment.
Nobody was moving, or speaking in my defense.
I didn’t know what else to say to Tiff. I didn’t want to peter out or lose steam or lose heart now. I pushed forward, changing targets.
“Ty. I’m… I didn’t love you like I did Alexis, but I loved you as a friend.”
“I believe you,” he said. “Everything you say makes sense, and maybe it doesn’t count for a lot, but I feel like you’re genuine, even if I’m not exactly an astute reader of people. I’ve been burned in the past…
“I remember,” I said. He’d had very good art stolen or plagiarized in the past. He’d been cheated out of money he was rightly due, his art sold for pennies rather than dollars.
“I don’t have a reason to doubt you,” Ty told me.
I nodded. A flare of hope in my heart. “Then-”
“But Rose is right. There’s too many unknowns. Too many ways they can get to us. And a bogeyman showing up with a good story is possible, too.”
The hope was dashed. “Anything’s-”
“-possible. I heard you before. Instead of us trusting you, can you trust us, instead? Rose has a plan, and if you’re a copy of her or she’s a copy of you or whatever it is, can’t you trust that the plan is a good one?”
It’s not that simple. She’s a threat. Conquest tainted her. The Behaims or Duchamps drew the connection between Conquest’s card and her left hand. She’s ten times the danger to you that I am.
But I couldn’t say it, or I’d be actively fighting her. It would sound like I was making stuff up. I would only be putting my friends at risk, because they wouldn’t leave, no matter what I said, they couldn’t, but the doubt and hesitation would only distract them.
“No,” I said, “No, I don’t know that I can trust that her plan’s a good one. Not with what I glimpsed, while I was away.”
“You might have to,” he said.
I shrugged, noncommittal.
“Sorry I can’t give you any more,” Ty told me.
“Me too,” I said. Changing tacks again. “Evan?”
“No,” Rose cut in. “Evan’s impressionable, and he’s weak right now.”
“Evan’s stronger than that,” I said.
“Duncan Behaim could theoretically walk in here and talk to Evan, and win Evan over with talk of flaming sparrows and video games,” Rose said. “Evan’s too trusting, and hasn’t been burned enough times to know to stay away from the fire.”
“I’m not that stupid,” Evan said.
“He’s not stupid at all,” I said.
“All the same, if you’re going to try to turn him,” Rose said, her voice quiet but sure, “We’re going to have a problem.”
“I’m not your enemy,” I told her.
She spread her arms a little. “There’s no guarantees.”
“Alright,” I said. “What I said holds true, no matter what. I’m not your enemy. Even if you won’t be my ally in all this. I clawed my way out of the Drains to help you guys, and I’m going to do exactly that. Even without your help.”
“Just so long as you don’t actively interfere with us,” Rose said, “You can do whatever you want, more or less.”
“Then I only have one, no, two more things to say, because I have to get it out there,” I told her. “Then I’m going to get to work.”
Rose folded her arms.
“First off, Ur. The demon. I know how to beat him, and it isn’t fire. It’s creation. Art. The graffiti might hide words, but it’s an art of its own, and that has value. If something happens to me, do me a favor and wipe out that motherfucker. Let this tip and the circle I started be my contributions. I sort of promised Evan I’d do what I could to stop the real monsters.”
“Okay,” Rose said. “Thank you, but that could be a trap. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t jump at the idea.”
“I guess I do have to, don’t I?” I asked. “Consider it. Try it, if you think it’s safe. If you look in the windows, you might be able to see my work, through the reflection. A diagram on the floor, in the mirror version of the factory.”
She nodded. “Okay. I’ll consider it.”
“Thank you,” I said, even though I felt far from thankful. “Second thing? I want you to look at me. I’m fragile. With every injury, I lose a bit of my human appearance. A lot of this was from the Drains, but not all of it, understand?”
“They’ve been spreading a little bit while we’ve been talking,” Ty said, his voice quiet.
“Really?” Tiff asked.
“I have a good eye for detail,” Ty said.
“They’ve been spreading because this damn conversation has been killing me,” I said. A note of emotion made my voice hitch the tiniest bit at the end. I wasn’t even sure if they were able to catch it.
I saw concern, maybe doubt, but nothing resembling advocacy, no help from any corner.
“Literally killing me,” I said. “There’s only so much me, and I guess emotional damage wears that away just as sure as any wound. And some of this damage to my body is because you took something from me, Rose. Inadvertently, maybe, but you took it all the same. Tore it from me. These people are not your friends, Rose. They’re the fake friends of a fake man. If you hurt them? Or if you gamble them and get them hurt? You will answer for it.”