“Not how I would have phrased what she did,” I said.
“A demon is involved?” she asked.
“Can I ‘no comment’ that?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said. There was no humor on her face. “I think that’s enough of an answer.”
Not just to the question I’d just asked, but everything I’d been suggesting. Her way of refusing me.
I stared down at the ground between all of us.
“I think,” I said, “That if things continue down this road, it’s not going to be one side winning, the rest of us losing. It might not even be one person winning, and everyone else losing. I think it’s going to turn out worse than that. Everyone in Jacob’s Bell loses.”
There was a short pause that followed that said a great deal more than any statement.
Mags summed it up. “Coming from a diabolist, that’s a fucking scary thing to hear.”
I shrugged. “Not what I meant.”
“Still scary,” she said. As if an afterthought, she said, “Man, that bell. It’s getting worse.”
“We’ve been talking for a bit,” Gavin said, the eldest Behaim present. “I’m thinking we need to head home. I’m expecting there to be a lot said. Especially if Alister wound up being promoted to head of the house while we’ve been talking.”
That’s it?
“Unless you want to be bound by the seal,” Gavin told me, “I don’t really see any other reason to keep talking.”
I shook my head. It was against everything I was and everything I was striving for, right here.
“Yeah, didn’t think so.”
This had been a hail Mary, a plea for sanity amid madness, from people who’d generally been a lot more sane than their elders.
But they were caught up in the tide. Now I faced the idea of having to figure out what to do next, knowing that with every passing moment, things might be getting worse at Hillsglade.
Damn me, damn them, damn it all.
Such a familiar feeling. Being angry, being unable to think straight. Wanting to do something that I knew was a bad idea.
“We’re adjourned, then?” Mags asked.
“Guess so,” Craig answered.
“Right,” Mags said. “I’ll chat with you in a minute, Blake, if you want to wait? Maybe you could stick around, Briar Girl, so you can vouch that I’m not siding with him? I’ll buy you something from the store after.”
“Sure,” the Briar Girl said.
So, Mags had gotten in trouble, at least on a level, even if she’d held onto her position. The threats had been grave enough that she was now forcing herself to be impartial. Giving herself a witness and alibi.
I remained mute, frustrated and angry. My body wanted to act, to do something reckless. I stayed where I was.
Lola met my gaze with her own. She looked monstrous in her own way, with the red around her eyes, her skin pale. “I hear what you’re trying to say. Maybe if the timing were different, it would be different. Maybe if you weren’t who and what you are…”
Penelope nodded.
“Penelope,” I said, speaking the moment the thought crossed my mind. “Lola said her piece. Are you going to say anything, or are you going to stick to the pattern of letting your elders decide things for you?”
Lola glared at me, hearing that.
“I make my own decisions,” Penelope said.
“The excuse Lola gave, that she has to do this to maintain the marriage and keep her husband-to-be in the fight, you don’t have that excuse.”
“No,” Penelope said, “But the bigger argument, it’s… I can’t go against my family, not if I’m risking making them weaker.”
“You drove Joanna to her dance lessons at the crack of dawn for a long time,” I said, recalling. “You… I feel confident in saying you obviously care about your family.”
“Yeah,” Penelope said.
“Lola’s willing to marry a stranger because she thinks she can change things for your sake, and for all your sisters and cousins. Why doesn’t it go the other way? Why won’t you take a risk to save her from that marriage?”
“That’s not fair,” Penelope said, suddenly angry.
I wasn’t making many friends, doing this.
Was that a mistake? I couldn’t imagine any way I might have phrased things that would have gotten them all on my side.
“If you feel the least bit conflicted about this,” I said, “Think about all of your cousins, about Joanna. By coming in such small numbers, you decided to speak for them. Are you that confident that you’re saying what they’d want you to say?”
“Yes,” she replied.
It caught me off guard. The sudden, certain answer.
It made me despair, just a little. Because it cost me ground and leverage I might have used to ask Ainsley a similar question, to keep that conversation going. To find an opening.
“It sucks, but yes,” she said. “I’m not saying that our moms and aunts and grandmothers are always right, but whatever Aunt Sandra’s done, I feel like she cares, whatever she winds up doing. You’re a stranger, and all you’re offering are words.”
“Blake,” Mags cut in. “I’ve got to step in. It’s not that late, but it’s getting later. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I made these guys stay longer than was safe. I’m sorry to say it, but… I don’t think this is going anywhere.”
I nodded.
The Behaims and Duchamps started to leave.
“Just tell me…” I spoke to their backs. I didn’t restrain my voice and even I was a little surprised at how different it sounded. There was a hollow quality to it.
They stopped. Three of them turned around or partially turned to look at me.
“…Do you care?” I asked. “About being used as cows, giving up your time to fuel the Behaim battery? Being married off? Seeing people you respect and care about being married off?”
“Of course we care,” Lola said.
“So,” I said, before anyone could add anything. “If my words aren’t enough, you’re saying you want to see me act?”
I saw Craig’s hand move toward one pocket. Penelope’s bird moved to one side, further from Penelope’s neck, more to the outside of the shoulder.
“I’m not threatening you,” I said. “I’m genuinely asking. You want proof I’m willing to take the risk, abandon the status quo?”
“What are you doing?” Gavin asked.
“Proving that I mean what I say. The Thorburn status quo has most of you guys beat, I’m thinking. It’s a death sentence, a karmic burden like you wouldn’t believe. In the more immediate present, the Thorburns are on the verge of being utterly destroyed, if they haven’t been already. I’m obviously not fighting against much, by fighting that reality. I have to test myself, right? Bite the bullet, face an ugly reality?”
“What, exactly, are you doing?” Gavin asked.
“I couldn’t tell you, or someone might try to stop me,” I answered. “I’m taking action. Remember what I said. I don’t give a damn about money. I don’t care about the power, really. I’d give it all up and go with my friends back to normalcy if I could. When the subject comes up, and people start talking, I want you to remember that. Spread it around.”