“Arrest them!” Yahweh’s voice was a scream that was eerily reminiscent of his deceased brother. “Arrest them all.”
“Thy will be done.” Michael-Lan genuflected and made his way out of the semi-destroyed throne room, picking his way between the piles of smoking rubble as he went.
Chapter Thirty Six
The Montmartre Club, Eternal City, Heaven
“I suppose I have to thank you again Michael-Lan.” The Master Mason was stretched out on a couch with one of the female angels gently caressing him with her wings. “The idea of selling tickets to my bunker was a real money-spinner. I’m going to have to build another one just to hold all the applicants.”
“Don’t get greedy, Zacharael-Lan. There’s a reason why greed is a deadly sin, the original list of deadly sins actually made a lot of sense. It took Yah-yah to bring the whole idea of deadly sins into disrepute. Greed’s a good example, more enterprises have been brought down by over-reaching greed than anything else. Look at it this way, the more bunker spaces you build, the less you’ll get for each of them. Keep them rare, keep them hard to get. That way you establish a loyal clientele.”
“Just like you do with membership here?” Zacharael-Lan held out his glass and his angelic companion filled it for him.
“Just like I do here.” Michael-Lan confirmed. “Except here, it’s a matter of practical necessity. All the goodies that make life in Heaven tolerable come from Earth. I’m working on changing that but for the meantime, its true. Going to Earth to restock with this war on is getting harder all the time and it’s never safe to mess around with humans. So we have to use the stocks we have carefully.”
“How about those things I built for you. Greenhouses you called them although they don’t look green.”
Michael-Lan laughed. “They do now. You should see them. Full to bursting point with various strains of Cannabis Sativa and Indica plants. Poor old Jesus is working hard sampling them all, trying to decide which ones give us the best high. Trouble is by the end of a test session, he’s so potted he forgets the results and has to start again.”
Zacharael-Lan joined in Michael’s merriment. “That I should have such work to do. Instead of patching the holes in the walls after The Irascible One’s tantrums. The last one was a doozie, he managed to bring down two curtain walls and a load-bearing column. The palace roof is sagging at that point and the whole thing could fall in. You say your greenhouses are full?”
“They are, we’re trying to keep the strains separate but I’ve got some more coming in and will need space to plant them. Or rather Jesus will, he loves working with plants. I’ve managed to get some White Widow seeds, they’re supposed to be really something. So, if you can get around to building a new greenhouse?”
Zacharael-Lan made a mock motion of weighing things in his hands. “Hmm. Repairing The Irascible One’s palace and stopping it collapsing on one hand or building you a new greenhouse for pot plants on the other. No real conflict there, I’ll be around with the supplies first thing. I’ll charge the materials off to the repairs on the Ultimate Palace. Nobody will notice, I’ve been delivering stuff there in the morning, taking it back at night and redelivering it again the next day for centuries. The Palace treasurer has probably paid for the same slabs of alabaster and jewels four or five times over. New greenhouse in the same place?”
“Think so, even if the Unbearable Father starts to look, he’ll never think of starting with his own son’s palace. Umm, Zacharael-Lan, could you do me a big favor?”
“Sure Michael-Lan. Name it.”
“I’m going to be away for a few days again. I’ve got a big pick-up to make with the guys in Myanmar. They’re clearing their stocks out and want me to collect it. In exchange for large additions to their ‘retirement’ funds of course. My fault, I got them involved in what I thought would be a nasty, long-running border war and they went and lost in a few days. Humans learned to use portals for maneuvering faster than I thought possible. Anyway, it’s a get-it or lose-it situation. I’ve organized an attack on Los Angeles for Uriel and another by Dumah and the Scarlet Beast on Jerusalem to act as diversions.”
“Good. Never liked Uriel, far too much of a cold fish for me and there always was something a bit strange about him. And as for Dumah and Fluffy, he leaves his droppings everywhere and she’s got altogether too high an opinion of herself. She’s just an Erelim like me but she spends her life looking down her nose at all of us. No respect that’s her trouble. Just because she gets on with that Scarlet Beast, she thinks she can get away with anything.”
“Well, she has The Unbearable Father’s ear so she can.” And that’s why she has got to go along with that wretched pet. “For a while, anyway. Anyway, I won’t be here so could you front for me for a few days? Gabriel and Raphael will do all the actual work but we’ll be having an outsider coming in and I’d rather he didn’t know how high the leadership here really goes. Having an Erelim in charge would be perfect.”
“Lemuel-Lan?”
“That’s right. Just make sure he has a really good time and doesn’t learn anything important.”
The Palatine Palace, New Rome, Hell
“Ave Caesar.” Colonel Paschal gave his Roman salute with a bit more confidence than before. He would have preferred to have used the military salute he was familiar with but his orders on the matter were quite strict. Gaius Julius Caesar was too important a player in the evolving social structure of Hell to risk offending so in his country, Paschal was to play by his rules. Paschal had a nagging suspicious that Caesar made the powers-that-be back on Earth nervous. The rate at which New Rome was growing and the speed with which its society was settling into a cohesive whole was a tribute to his ability. It also made him a potential threat and humanity already had more problems than it could handle.
“Ave.” Caesar returned the greeting and salute formally. “Colonel Paschal I believe? You have met the Second Consul Jade Kim?”
“Ave Consul. I believe we met when you were running the PFLH in the Hellpit. To create a successful insurgency from such an unpromising start was a remarkable achievement.”
“Thank you, but without the aid of my husband, it would all have collapsed.” Kim put a gentle but distinct emphasis on the words ‘my husband’. Paschal couldn’t help but reflect she was learning the political game very fast. Wasn’t surprising, she was getting the lessons from a master.
As if he was reading Paschal’s thoughts, Caesar took the lead in the conversation back. “How are you enjoying your first visit to our new Republic?”
“New Rome is a remarkable achievement Sir. You seem to be recreating the old Republic of Rome with incredible speed.”
“Celeritas, Colonel. Always Celeritas. Speed and decisiveness in maneuver are always the key to successful efforts. But, I needn’t tell an officer in a human army that, you’ve taken speed and mobility to levels I’d never imagined possible. We’re not recreating the ancient Republic of Rome here though, we are trying to take its best features and adapt them to the modern world your generation has so successfully created. If we take the best parts of my era and combine them with the best parts of yours, then there are wonders we can achieve.”
Paschal nodded in agreement, reflecting that despite the two millennia since his death, Caesar’s ability to inspire people with enthusiasm for his plans was still unchanged. It wasn’t surprising that Jade Kim had cast her lot in with him, although it was becoming apparent to Paschal that people’s allegiances for their Second Life in Hell rarely had much in common with those of their First Life on Earth. Expecting otherwise had already proved to be a bad mistake. “If I may ask Sir, what part of our modern practices do you seek to change?”