That is when she really start to bawl. It get so bad I have to call Hampton to come drive her home. And even as she going outta the gate she still thanking me, and waving at me, and telling me what a good man I am.
When I tell Judge Finley what happen he say to me, ‘So what, you surprise DeFreitas kill him?’
‘Yes. I never think he go do a thing like that.’
‘I thought that was exactly what you had in mind the day you jump up and pow two shots in his head.’
‘No, man. I was just making a point.’
‘So what you think DeFreitas was going do with him?’
‘I think maybe he give Samuels a good hiding and teach him a lesson. Maybe bust him down the ladder. I never imagine he would go kill a man over a thing like that.’
‘Well then you must be the only man in Kingston who think that way, because right now a man can get shot just for wearing the wrong colour shirt in the wrong part of town. So maybe this be a warning to you to throw out every green or orange shirt you got in case anybody think you supporting the Labour Party or the PNP.’
Next day Fay come tearing into Matthews Lane and straight into the bedroom where she start flinging open drawers and emptying everything into a suitcase she got open up on the bed. I go stand up in the doorway and I say to her, ‘What you think you doing?’
‘What does it look like I am doing?’
‘Well, it look like you going somewhere. But it seem to me like you already gone from here so I dunno why you think you need to take anything else.’
Right then she stop what she doing and she turn and look at me.
‘I heard about Samuels.’
But I don’t say nothing to her. The two of us just stand there. She looking at me, and me looking straight back at her.
‘Cat got your tongue?’
When I look at her I see that she really hate me. Her face look hard and her mouth got a real cruel twist. If she was a man she would have thump me. She would have try to mash me up just so she can let off some steam and work out how she feel. But she not a man and she can’t do that. She can only stand there and think that maybe she can wear me down with her stare.
But just then she grab the vase and throw it at me. It hit the doorframe and smash, and it shower all the water and glass over me because the flowers was still standing in it. I feel like I going just jump on her and beat her till I wipe that look off her face. But I don’t move a muscle. I just stand there. And I brush myself down a little, try wipe off some of the excess water. And then I turn ’round and go back down the couple of step, and sit down at the table and pour myself a bowl of tea.
I expect she going carry on packing but she don’t. She follow me. And then she start talking while I sitting there with my back to her.
‘He was shot in the back of the head and his body burned. That is execution style. You think I don’t know that?’
I don’t say nothing to her.
‘One minute Samuels is working for you, the next minute he is being executed in West Kingston. And I suppose you are going to tell me that this has nothing to do with you.’
‘I not telling you anything, Fay.’
‘I married you because I couldn’t stand to live with my mother any more. She thinks that I went to board at Immaculate so I could pretend to be white, but that wasn’t it. I went up there to get away from her. I couldn’t stand her pretensions, and I couldn’t stand looking at how ashamed she is of herself and of the life she thinks she would have had if she had not married my father; if she had not elevated herself from being the descendant of an ex-slave.
‘But believe me, I had no idea of the squalor you would expect me to live in. I didn’t even know that places like this existed. And then to bring children up in it? No self-respecting person would even call this place a house never mind a home.
‘And as for you, I have no idea what it is you think you are doing. But you are nothing but a dirty little crook. You are not smart. You are not powerful. You are just a sleazy little hoodlum who thinks he is a big shot because his pocket is stuffed full of money. Yang Pao, the big man of Chinatown. You and Louis DeFreitas make a good match. You belong together with your drugs, and guns and murder.’
‘I am not a drug dealer, and I don’t run no guns, and I didn’t murder nobody.’
‘Well with your little whores then. I think you are still running her, aren’t you? Your whore in East Kingston?’
I just get up and turn ’round and launch myself at her. I knock her down and we start fight. We rolling on the ground grabbing and pushing and trying to ease away so we can get some space to land a good punch. We twisting and kicking and scratching and biting and we got elbows and knees going in every direction.
Then suddenly I realise how long it is since I touch her. How long it been since I feel her warm body next to me. And then I can’t tell if I am pushing her away or pulling her towards me. She putting up a good fight either way. She surprise me how strong and agile she get. I even forget I fighting with a woman. I just trying to defend myself. I just trying to get outta this tangle in one piece.
Then outta the corner of my eye I see Xiuquan stand up by the gate and I realise she must have leave him in the car outside. Then I see Mui in her pyjamas stand on the step. And Hampton is shouting something and Ma is running down the yard with her arms waving in the air. In the middle of all of this commotion I manage to make some distance between me and Fay so now we standing up and I got her by the shoulder at arm’s length.
And that is when she spit in my face. And I let her go. And everything stop.
Xiuquan run up to her and grab her hand. And then she walk over to Mui and take her hand as well. So now she got both children one on each side. So I say to her, ‘What you think you doing?’
And she say to me, ‘You don’t think I am going to leave them here with you, do you?’
‘You not going anywhere with them children.’
‘What, so I can leave them here to grow up with pimps and whores, and thieves and thugs and murderers? So that one day maybe they become just like you? Is that what they should aspire to? To become just like Papa? Papa’s little boy and girl?’
That is when I slap her nasty face. But I regret it straight away because I didn’t want the children to be seeing me do a thing like that. And anyway, it come ’cross a bit too heavy because it leave my handprint like a big red mark on her left cheek just so.
And she start cry. So I reach in my pocket and pull out a handkerchief and offer it to her and she take it. And just for that small little moment when she take the kerchief from me and start mop her face she look soft and gentle at me like maybe she remember another time long ago at the Jamaica Inn when she take my handkerchief just like that.
And just as she let go of the children hand, Mui step ’cross and stand up next to me. And Xiuquan look at me like him dunno what to do. Or maybe him do, but he too ’fraid to do it, because him got a sorta longing look in his eye.
So I just say to her, ‘You a grown woman, Fay. You can do what you want, but the children staying here with me.’
She look at Zhang and Ma and Hampton standing there. And then she look at the children, and then at me, and she say, ‘This isn’t over.’ And she turn and walk outta the gate. I half expect Xiuquan to run after her, but he don’t. Him just stand there watching her back as she close the gate behind her.
22
One good thing come outta it anyway. Xiuquan and Mui finally start act like they brother and sister. Every day now they gone out the street somewhere together. They gone up the US navy base, or they fishing off the wharf, or they gone swimming with Hampton at Hellshire Beach or over Lime Cay. It a pleasure for me to see the two of them go down the street hand in hand even if they just go roam ’round town and come back.