So now instead of standing there enjoying Esther’s wedding I am thinking ’bout Mui and thinking that maybe Gloria right I never going see a day like this for her. And I think that is funny. Well it not really funny as such, because it was Mui that put me in mind of Esther in that first letter she send back to me after all that mix-up with Morrison going to look for Stanley. It was Mui that write ‘I hope Gloria and Esther are well’ and make me think I should go pay the child more mind. It was Mui remind me that I had another daughter.
All the way through the snapper and the chicken I am thinking what kinda child Esther was. And what I realise is that when she young Esther was like two completely different people. She quiet and careful with me, but when you read her school report it seem like she this carefree, long-jumping, volleyball-playing, drama-society, school-choir sorta girl. Yet never once did she ask me if I wanted to come watch her do her sport thing or see her school play or listen to the choir sing. And Gloria never mention none of this to me. Maybe she thought that after I read the school report I would ask for myself if I could go see something that Esther doing. Maybe she wanted me to make the first move. But it never dawn on me to do nothing. I just used to read the little report because Gloria give it to me and feel puzzled ’bout how come this nuh seem to be the same girl at all. Or after I read it and giving it back to Gloria I would say, ‘She seem to be doing good.’ And that would be it. In truth, a lot of the time it just felt like Gloria give it to me because she reckon I entitled to see it because I pay for it. Like I pay the school fees so I have a right to read the report. It was like that. And it didn’t seem to me like I had any right to expect anything or ask for anything more than that.
It wasn’t till Fay take the children that all of that change, maybe because Gloria think I only got the one child now so I can concentrate on her. So Esther only really become my daughter after Mui and Xiuquan was gone.
When it come to the speeches I already done tell Gloria that I didn’t know what to say. What yu going say ’bout being the father of a woman you don’t hardly know? And you busy giving her in marriage to some man you maybe meet two or three times. What yu going say? That for the first fourteen years of this woman’s life you all but ignore her? You can’t even remember how many times you see her and even when you did happen to come ’cross her you can’t remember any conversation you ever had with her about anything at all. That in fourteen years you never read her a book in bed, or play a game with her, or take her to the beach, or help her with her pyjama party, or take her to the pictures, or eat ice cream with her, or watch her blow out any birthday candles. Yu can’t even remember what present you ever buy her or what Gloria get for her and tell her it come from me. And then yu wife kidnap yu other two children and that is when you realise that you have another child. So it is only since the others gone that you start to get to know this woman and what you discover is that she is smart and funny and a caring person. Everything you would want yu child to be. Maybe everything you would wish you could be yourself but you are not. And on top of all of this, the very special thing about Esther is her forgiveness. That she had it in her heart to forgive me and just wait for the day that I would be there for her as her father who love her and feel pleased and proud that she is in this world.
Gloria look at me and say, ‘That is fine. It honest.’
So when the moment come I get up and I say it. I tone down the first part a little bit and when I get to the part about being her father I say, ‘Who she can call Daddy. Who love her and feel pleased and proud that she is in the world to be a daughter to me and Gloria, and a wife to Rajinder, but most of all to be a person to herself.’
I can hardly hear the clapping because right then I look at Esther and I see she got a sorta smile on her face but she crying. And then I feel something wet on my own face and I sit down and Gloria pass me a tissue to wipe away the tear.
After that when it come to the dancing Esther and Rajinder do what they have to and afterwards she walk straight over to where I am sitting and stand there with her hand held out to me for me to go dance with her.
I say to her, ‘Esther, I can’t dance.’
And she say, ‘It doesn’t matter.’
So I get up and I go on the dance floor with her, dressed in this black tuxedo and bow tie that Gloria say I got to wear. And as I am dancing with her I realise that the look on my face must be exactly that same one that Rajinder have when me and Esther was walking down the aisle towards him. Like a dream I didn’t even know I had had just come true. And when I look over to Gloria still sitting there at the table, I see the dream had come true for her as well.
33
Mui pass the Bar exam. She send me a copy of The Times newspaper from England that got her name in it – ‘Called to the Bar at Lincoln’s Inn.’
But even while I was busy showing the paper to everybody I know and telling them what a brilliant daughter I have there was trouble brewing. And after a lot of talk and telephone call and this and that Finley say we have to go meet this man, but we have to go to Negril because he tell Finley he not going to no Blue Lagoon. He say he is a Miami man. A man for blue sea and blue sky not some dark dingy Kingston bar.
Finley tell me him name Ian Maynard Fitzgerald and I say, ‘What? What kinda name that is?’
‘I think it the sorta name that got history and a whole heap of family with big connections. Otherwise, why would you bother yourself with a mouthful like that? Not unless you think you impressing somebody. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that him great-granddaddy fight with General Custer.’ And me and Finley laugh. ‘Anyway,’ Finley say, ‘seem him got a nickname, Sam.’
‘So where that nickname come from?’ And Finley just shrug him shoulders.
Sam got himself a hotel in Negril right on a nice piece of that seven mile of white sandy beach they always advertising in the tourist brochure. The hotel big, it impressive, it classy. Sam tell us it got all the American and German newspaper for sale right there in the lobby shop. It got the beach, two swimming pool and five restaurant serving every kinda food that the tourist want to eat. It got helicopter trips to the Blue Lagoon, by which he mean the big blue water hole over Port Antonio way, not my favourite bar in Kingston. It got waterskiing and every beach sport you can think of. It got entertainment day and night. It got babysitting and kindergarten club. And the best thing? It all inclusive. The guests never have to step foot outside the place, and to keep everybody safe and sound they lock up the big gates every night at seven o’clock, half hour before nightfall, and they don’t bother tell the people that they not no street violence in Negril, that all the trouble in Kingston. No, they just like to keep it simple with all the tourist lock up inside there being all inclusive while the local shops and bars and restaurants going to hell because they not got no customers. And the all-inclusive profit going straight back to America because Sam is a Miami man.
So me and Finley sitting down on this here veranda with Sam while the little waitress is running backward and forward with the rum punch and shrimp salad and Sam is leaning his big white self back in the chair admiring his own handiwork with his poolside Greek temples, and stone lions with water spouting out their mouth, and artificial waterfall like Jamaica not got enough natural beauty without Sam bringing all this concrete in here.
Well Sam hotel got everything, except one thing. It not got no paying guests because the American media so busy frightening all of them good US citizens with they stories of robbery and rape and murder and violence and mayhem in Jamaica that none of them want to set foot down here no more. Even though in truth the whole thing local and don’t involve no tourist anyway, and certainly not in Negril or Ocho Rios which is where all the tourist traffic at.