“He’s like a storm chaser? That’s kind of exciting.”
“If he actually chased them, then yeah, but all he does is check radar on his stupid cell and watch the weather channel all day.”
Yup, they wouldn’t be together much longer. It was only a matter of time before she found something else she couldn’t stand about him, and moved on. He wasn’t her type anyway. Jeff was a little on the nerdy side, and Sadie had always went for the bad boys with tattoos, piercings, and pasts that made girls crave to be the ones to make them a better person. She had yet to change any of them, and always ended up with more heartbreak than they were worth. Jeff had been what she had called ‘looking outside the box’ and ‘being open to different types of guys.’ Her theory was that she had been missing all the good ones searching for bad boys to change.
“And you’re looking for more excitement?” I pushed the covers bundled around me to the foot of the bed, suddenly too hot. I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t be crammed in this room much longer. I needed air, and to stretch my legs. “Hold on a sec.”
“Okay.”
Placing my cell into the crook of my neck, I slipped out of bed. The hall was dark and quiet when I crept out of my room. I tiptoed past my mom’s room, past the bathroom, and into the kitchen. The green glow of the clock on the microwave told me it was nearly one thirty in the morning. I would have to get off the phone soon and at least attempt to get some sleep since I would be driving back to the dorms, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not after the day I had.
I opened the back door in the kitchen and slipped out, closing it behind me. Holding my breath, I crept across the backyard toward the fire pit area. It had been so long since I’d snuck out of the house. While I’d forgotten how easy it was, I had also forgot about the sense of adrenaline that pumped through me as well. I was now more awake than I had been before.
“Whew, okay,” I breathed into the phone.
“Where you just holding your breath?” Sadie teased.
“Yeah, so?” I pursed my lips together, and placed the phone into the crook of my neck so I could pull the sleeves of my sweater down over my hands further. It was colder outside than I thought it would be this time of night.
“You’re an adult now. Besides, I doubt your mom would say anything to you with the way she is.” Her words hung suspended in the air between us. “I’m sorry. You know what I meant.” There was panic in her words.
“It’s okay.” It was, but it wasn’t. I understood what she was trying to say. I just hated that it was the truth.
“How is she, by the way? I feel bad for not asking sooner.”
“Don’t apologize.” I sat in the center of the bench in front of the fire pit. The coldness of the wood seeped through the thin fabric of my cotton shorts, causing goose bumps to prickle along my legs. “She’s not so good. Since I’ve been here, she’s managed to forget who I am more times than I can count, nearly caught the kitchen on fire, and gotten lost in the woods behind our house.”
“Damn. Why doesn’t your sister place her in a home? I know that sounds mean, but it would at least be safer for her.”
“I already asked. Trust me, it’s not something I care to bring up with Emma again anytime soon.”
“She wasn’t for the idea?”
“Nope. Not at all.” I grabbed a random stick from the ground and sifted through ashes inside the circle of garden stones we’d used to make the fire pit. “I honestly don’t know how Emma can handle this on a daily basis. It’s been too much for me already, and I’ve only been here for a day and a half.”
“She’s strong. From what you’ve told me about her, she seems really strong-willed.” Sadie paused. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but she sort of has no choice. I mean, you’re here and she’s there.”
Sadie’s words stung. The truth always did though. “I left it all in her lap. I’m selfish, I know.”
“I didn’t say you were selfish. I don’t think of it that way. It’s more like, she’s the oldest. She’s finished with school, has a career, and is able to take care of your mom. She’s stable and you’re not there yet.” She let out a huff of air. “That’s not what I meant either. Why do you keep letting me talk? It’s like I’m digging a damn hole deeper with each sentence.”
I laughed, able to see the humor in the situation. I knew she wasn’t trying to be mean or offend me in anyway. “I know what you’re trying to say. I think,” I tacked on to tease her.
“She’s letting you experience things. She’s being a big sister, and protecting you from all of it by taking it on herself.”
“Never become a physiatrist, okay? You really suck at this.” I chuckled in an attempt to hide what she was really making me feel—that I was a horrible sister who was acting like a child. Our mom had gotten sick, and I packed up and left for school because I thought I was entitled to. What the hell was wrong with me?
“I know! I’m sorry!” she squealed in my ear. “Topic shift?”
“Okay.”
“Who was this hottie you happened to impress when you got there?” I could picture her sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting for me to unleash some romantic tale. “Tell me who fate brought to your doorstep this weekend.”
A pang of emotion pinched at the back of my throat. “It didn’t bring anyone I could have. False alarm.” I tried to go for a light tone, but failed.
“What happened? I figured you’d have some juicy stuff to tell me.”
“Oh, it’s juicy, just not in the way you think.” I dropped the stick I’d been holding and wiped my hand against my pajama shorts to get the dirt off. I didn’t know where to start when it came to Dawson. Sadie didn’t know him, which made everything seem as though it would sound melodramatic. All she knew was that I was stalking the guy on Facebook when we first met. I wondered if I could get away with leaving that detail out for now. Everything was embarrassing enough. “The guy lived at the end of my street while I was growing up. He still does actually.”
“Sexy neighbor, I like where this is going,” she purred in my ear.
A small chuckle worked its way past my lips. “Yeah. He was my first real crush, you know?” I couldn’t think of a way to explain the way I’d felt for Dawson back then that would make her understand.
“God, I remember my first real crush. Every time I was around him, I thought I was either going to throw up or faint.” The whimsical tone to her voice let me know she understood. “So, did you come in and knock this guy out with your beauty and awesome style?”
I pursed my lips together. “Not really.” I wasn’t sure what I’d done. My mind drifted back to the lake, to what he was going to say. We seemed to have a moment. Heck, I thought we were flirting, but then he’d cut it all off. I squeezed my eyes shut, and reminded myself why.
“What do you mean?” Sadie’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “One minute I was waiting in line to pay for my gas, and then the next he was calling me by my full name in this deep, sexy voice that was the same as when I’d last seen him, but different.”
“He’s a man now. The teenager you lusted for is still there, staring you in the face, but he’s mixed with this mature man. Right?”
She’d nailed it. “Yeah. Exactly like that. It’s strange.”
“I get it. Same thing happened to me the last time I went home for a visit.”
I remembered her mentioning something about a guy named Max. “Oh yeah. Max, right?”
“Yup.” She took another sip of whatever she was drinking. “I slept with him, and got him out of my system. You should do the same.”
Her words didn’t surprise me. Sadie was bold. She didn’t care what anyone thought about her. She was who she was, and she did what she wanted. If someone didn’t approve or care for her actions, then she didn’t waste time worrying over them. She kept right on going. I envied her ability to do this.