HIM: I waited. I didn't know how to reach you.
HER: Forgive me.
HIM: I have nothing to forgive you for. I'm only passing through.
HER: I promise you. As soon as I can...
Then I hear a voice. “Mommy!”
[A voice calling offstage.]
Valerie turns around. A little girl is running toward her. Maybe eight years old. Valerie glances at me. I see a painful form of despair in her face. Behind the little girl, a guy, a tall guy. He looks familiar.
HER: I've got to go.
HIM: I understand.
HER: I'll call you.
HIM: Don't bother. I understand completely.
HER: I don't think so.
[She turns around and exits.]
She leaves. Wobbly legs, exploding heart, I think I’m going to collapse on the ground. Two breaths. I go back to the bar. Marco questions me. “You know Valerie Dumont?” “What?” “The girl you followed.” “She’s a friend of my sister’s. We saw each other at the wedding. I didn’t know her name was Dumont.” “That’s her husband’s name. I told you about him already, at the warehouse. I do some jobs for him. If you want, I’ll introduce you.”
“Don’t bother. Really, don’t bother.”
8
Flattened, hurt, smashed. Aching belly. Back from the station. My train ticket. Tomorrow I’m going back to Toulon. The phone rings. A few words of conversation. Steps. Mom through the door. “Phone for you.” “Marco?” “No, it’s a woman.”
I rush over to the phone. It’s her.
[Each at opposite sides of the stage. They talk to each other on the phone.]
HER: Antoine?
HIM: Yes!
HER: I'm sorry.
HIM: You didn't tell me you were married.
HER: I know.
HIM: Or that you had a daughter.
HER: I know. Forgive me. When we met... it was so sudden... I didn't know what to do.
HIM: And now?
HER: I still don't know. But we can see each other, if you want to.
HIM: That's not a good idea.
HER: What are you talking about?
HIM: You're married, you're a mother, all that.
HER: That's not a problem.
HIM: I'm going to go away.
HER: It's your decision.
HIM: Right. When?
HER: Now.
HIM: It's nighttime.
HER: I'll wait for you at my place. Nobody's home.
[They hang up and exit from different sides of the stage.]
I call out to Mom. “I’m going out for a little while to see a friend.” “So late?” “It’s the only way she can do it.” “Okay, son.” “I’m taking Sophie’s car.”
9
Through the darkened city. Just one thought leads me on. Her. Speed to her. Speed. A nice apartment on boulevard Diderot. I ring. She opens the door.
[Doorbell. She hesitates, walks forward, straightens her hair with one hand, and opens the door.]
HER: Come in.
HIM: Thanks... Nice place... Money's no problem, is it?
HER: It's not me.
HIM: It's your husband.
HER: Yes. Do you want something to drink?
HIM: Something strong.
HER: Cognac?
HIM: Perfect.
[She fixes him a glass.]
I close my eyes. What am I doing here? I should have left today. Shouldn’t have come. She’s pouring me a drink.
[She brings him a glass.]
HER: Here you are.
[He swallows.]
[Silence.]
I drink almost the whole glass. Then silence. Like two strangers in an elevator.
[She takes him by the hand and they exit.]
So she’s taking me by the hand. She leads me slowly upstairs, into a bedroom. Not the master bedroom. A guest room. She only leaves a little lamp on. She strokes my face. Her hand is trembling. And we make love. Entwined in each other, breathless, exhausted, neither of them dare to say anything yet.
[In a big bed, they are lying pressed up against each other, out of breath. We can guess they’re naked under the sheets. Silence.]
HER: Why did you leave?
HIM: Why? Because I couldn't stand this city anymore.
HER: You don't like Paris? The neighborhood?
HIM: It's complicated. I love this city and I hate it at the same time. It's the city of my childhood. That's a terrible thing! Years... painful years...
Silence.
She puts her hand on my cheek.
HER: You know, I was in love with you.
HIM: I was in love with you too.
HER: We've missed each other.
HIM: You said it!
HER: And you left.
HIM: Yes... And now what?
HER: Stop it.
HIM: Stop what?
HER: For a long time, I dreamed of your body.
HIM: You're not answering me. Now what?
HER: I can't answer. You wouldn't like the only possible answer. I wouldn't like it either.
HIM: I know that answer.
HER: I'm not so sure.
HIM: How about your family?
HER: What about my family?
HIM: I don't know.
[She puts her hand over his mouth.]
HER: Shhh! Don't talk about the future. It doesn't exist.
[They embrace.]
10
I decide to stay in Paris longer. My mother is delighted. I meet Valerie the next day. We go for a walk. Moments wrenched away from the rest of the world. Moments for just the two of us, with that permanent threat, that ending getting nearer.