He told me of a western that depicted a fierce battle between the Indians and the Basques. The presence of Basques had struck him as very odd and very funny. I finally tracked down the film: it’s called Thunder in the Sun. The synopsis indeed says that it’s about Indians versus Basques. I’d like to see this film in memory of Queneau, in a revival house they’ve forgotten to tear down, in some obscure corner of the city. Queneau’s laugh. Part geyser, part rattle. But I have no talent for metaphor. It was simply Queneau’s laugh.
Nineteen sixty-six. One evening in January, Quai de Conti. Jean Normand comes home around eleven o’clock. I’m alone with him in the apartment. The radio is on. They announce the suicide of Georges Figon in a studio on Rue des Renaudes, just as the police were breaking down the door. He was a protagonist in the Ben Barka Affair. Normand turns pale and makes a phone call, reads someone the riot act, quickly hangs up. He explains that he and Figon had had dinner together not an hour before and that Figon was an old friend, since their school days at the Collège Sainte-Barbe. He doesn’t tell me that they had served time together in Poissy, as I found out later.
And minor events slip by, slide off you without leaving much trace. You feel as if you can’t yet live your real life, as if you’re a stowaway. Of that fraudulent existence, I still recall a few scraps. At Easter, I came across a magazine article concerning Jean Normand and Ben Barka’s murder. The article was headlined: “Why haven’t they questioned this man?” A large photo of Normand, with the caption: “He has hatchet features that look like they were cut with a jackhammer. His name is Normand, but he goes by Duval. Figon called him ‘the tall man with the Jag.’ Normand, or Duval, had known Georges Figon for years …”
That spring, I sometimes stayed at the home of Marjane L. on Rue du Regard. Her apartment was the meeting place for a gang of individuals who circulated aimlessly among Saint-Germain-des-Prés, Montparnasse, and Belgium. Some, who had already discovered psychedelia, used it as a stopover between trips to Ibiza. But one might also run into a certain Pierre Duvelz (or Duveltz): blond, mid-thirties, mustache, and glen plaid suits. He spoke French with a distinguished, international accent, displayed military decorations on his lapel, and claimed to have been in officer candidate school at Saint-Maixent and married to a “Guinness heiress.” He placed phone calls to embassies. He was often with a moronic-looking nonentity who doted on him, and he boasted of his love affair with an Iranian woman.
Other shadows, among them a certain Gérard Marciano. And so many more besides, whom I’ve forgotten and who must have died since then, violently.
That spring of 1966 in Paris, I felt a change in the atmosphere, a variation in climate that I had already sensed in 1958, at age thirteen, and again at the end of the Algerian War. But this time, there was no major event occurring in France, no tipping point — or else I’ve forgotten. Moreover, to my shame, I couldn’t tell you what was happening in the world in April 1966. We were emerging from a tunnel, but as for what tunnel it was, I haven’t a clue. And that breath of fresh air was something we hadn’t experienced in previous seasons. Was it merely the illusion of twenty-year-olds who always think the world began with them? The air felt lighter to me that spring.
Following the Ben Barka Affair, Jean Normand stopped living at Quai de Conti and vanished mysteriously. Around May or June, I was summoned by the vice squad and told to report to an Inspector Langlais. He questioned me for three solid hours in one of their offices, amid cops coming and going, and typed up my answers. To my amazement, he told me that someone had accused me of being a drug user and dealer, and he showed me a mug shot of Gérard Marciano, whom I’d met once or twice on Rue du Regard. My name was apparently in his address book. I said I didn’t know him. The inspector made me show him my arms to check for needle tracks. He threatened to search Quai de Conti and Avenue Félix-Faure, but apparently he didn’t know about Rue du Regard — which surprised me, since the abovementioned Gérard Marciano used to frequent that apartment. He let me go, warning that I might have to come back for more questions. Sadly, they never ask you the right ones.
I alerted Marjane L. about the vice squad and Gérard Marciano, who never showed his face again. Pierre Duvelz, for his part, got himself arrested a few days later in a gun shop, while trying to buy or sell a revolver. Duvelz was a crook, with an arrest warrant out for him. And I committed a bad deed: I stole Duvelz’s wardrobe, which had remained behind at Marjane L.’s and contained some very elegant suits, and I swiped an antique music box belonging to the owners of the apartment Marjane L. was renting. I found a secondhand goods dealer on Rue des Jardins-Saint-Paul and sold him the lot for five hundred francs. He told me he came from a family of scrap merchants in Clichy and that he’d been tight with Joseph Joinovici. If I had any other items to get rid of, just call. He gave me an extra hundred francs, evidently moved by my shyness. The following year, I would make restitution for that bad deed. I used my first author’s royalties to repay the theft of the music box. I would gladly have bought Duvelz a few suits, but I never heard from him again.
Let’s be honest to the bitter end: In 1963, my mother and I had sold to a Pole we knew, who worked at the flea market, the four practically new suits, along with shirts and three pairs of shoes with pale wood shoe trees, that my father’s friend Robert Fly had left in a closet. He, too, like Duvelz, favored glen plaid suits and had disappeared overnight. We were flat broke that afternoon. Just barely the few coins the grocer on Rue Dauphine had given me for the bottle deposit. At the time, a baguette cost forty-four centimes. After that, I stole books from private individuals or libraries. I sold them because I needed the money. A first printing of Swann’s Way, published by Grasset; a first edition of Artaud inscribed to Malraux; signed novels by Montherlant, letters from Céline, a “table of the royal military houses” published in 1819, a clandestine edition of Verlaine’s Femmes and Hombres, dozens of Pléïade volumes and art books … From the moment I started writing, I never again committed another theft. Now and then, my mother, though she never stopped putting on airs, might also filch a few “luxury” items and leather goods from the shelves of the Belle Jardinière or other department stores. She was never caught in the act.
But time is growing short, the summer of 1966 is upon us, and with it what they called being “of age.” I took refuge in the neighborhood around Boulevard Kellermann, and I hung out at the nearby Cité Universitaire, with its large lawns, restaurants, cafeteria, cinema, and resident students. I made friends with Moroccans, Algerians, Yugoslavians, Cubans, Egyptians, Turks …
In June, my father and I reconciled. I went to meet him many times in the lobby of the Hôtel Lutétia. But I realized he did not have my best interests at heart. He tried to persuade me to enlist before my draft number came up. He would see to it himself, he said, that I was stationed in the Reuilly barracks. I pretended to acquiesce so that I could get some money out of him, just enough to spend my last holidays as a “civvy”: you can’t turn down a future soldier. He was convinced I’d soon be in uniform. I would turn twenty-one and he’d finally be rid of me. He doled out three hundred francs, the only “pocket” money he ever gave me. I was so delighted with this “bonus” that I would gladly have promised to join the Foreign Legion. And I thought of his mysterious compulsion always to push me away: schools, Bordeaux, the police station, the army …