"Since this will never happen, then I really don't have to think of one, do I?"
"I saw her looking at Lord Kipper, Thomas, just like Miss Crittenden looked at that bit of sea bass Cook served for dinner before you arrived."
Thomas just smiled, but there was something in his eyes, something dark and hidden from her. Meggie frowned.
"I didn't realize Libby knew such a deadly word as pernicious" he said.
Madeleine said, "I didn't either. Pernicious. I am here to look it up in that dictionary on your desk. I hope I have the spelling right. I ask you, what good is a dictionary if you don't already now how to spell the word? Stand aside."
Thomas took Meggie's hand and led her from the estate room. They were half a dozen steps beyond the room when they heard his mother squawk.
"Let's hurry," Thomas said.
"Thank you, Thomas."
He turned to smile down at her. "For what? Dragging you out of the room before she found pernicious?"
"For telling your mother that I wouldn't ever betray you."
"Yes," he said slowly, turning away from her to look out over the Irish Sea, "I did say that, didn't I?"
That night a storm blew in, rain slammed hard against the windows, and the black of the night was absolute.
"Oh God, Meggie," he said against her mouth, felt the world tilt and every muscle in his body scream, and managed to pull out of her just in time. He hung over her, panting, so beyond himself, that for many moments it was very close.
"Thomas? What's wrong?"
"You weren't with me," he said, low and harsh, and gave her his mouth.
When she arched her back and yelled to the ceiling, he came into her again, hard, deep and deeper still, and harder than he should have, but he just couldn't help himself.
Some time later Thomas was lying on his back, his breathing slow and calm now, his wife's breath warm against his bare chest. Suddenly he felt her jerk, and tightened his arm around her.
"Meggie," he said against her hair, kissing her. "You're dreaming. Come, wake up."
She moaned quietly, pressing closer to him, and her breath was hot against his flesh, wheezing in and out. Something bad was happening. She sucked in a deep breath, shuddered. He started to shake her awake when she moaned, "Jeremy, no, no. Blessed Hell, no. Jeremy."
He didn't shake her. He didn't do anything for a very long time, just let her thrash about and moan, deep in her throat.
When finally she was calm again, when she hadn't moaned his name again for at least five minutes, Thomas eased away from his wife, and rolled off the side of the bed. He came up to stand over her. He couldn't see her well because of the storm, the blanket of rain that obscured any outside light, the blackness of the room. But yet again he heard her moan his name; it wouldn't leave his brain. Over and over he heard her say that bastard's name: Jeremy. He wished he had the sod right here, right now. He wanted to choke the life out of him. He knew he wouldn't hesitate a minute to kill him.
And she'd said his name, damn her. Said it again and yet again. Just as she'd spoken of Jeremy to her father, and she'd been married to him not more than two hours.
It was as he'd told his mother-Meggie would never betray him. He knew it all the way to his gut. No, Meggie would never make an assignation with another man and break her marriage vows.
But the fact was he also knew that she already had-in her mind, in her heart, and he believed to his soul that betrayal in the heart was the worse. She'd married him under false pretenses. He'd forgiven her, knowing she liked him, perhaps admired him, knowing he could make her love him, want him as he'd wanted her since the first time he ever saw her. She certainly liked bedding him. He'd let himself grow complacent, secure in her. He'd let it all fade from his mind. Until now. She'd dreamed about the bloody sod. He didn't think he could bear it.
He didn't leave her, although he wanted to. He couldn't. There was a madman out there who wanted her dead. He couldn't leave her alone.
But he wanted to. He wanted to hoard his misery, wallow in his misery by himself. He didn't want to hear her breathing beside him, feel her body pressed against him and know that he would be hard in an instant, and know too that she could be dreaming of that bastard.
Then something happened, something hard and vicious and he recognized it. It was rage and it was what he'd felt on his wedding night.
He wouldn't let his rage overwhelm him, he was a man who could control himself. He wouldn't ravage her again like he had on their wedding night. But he itched to punish her, to hurt her the way she'd hurt him.
He took one of the blankets, carried a chair to the windows and watched the dawn break through the gray rain.
Chapter 28
Pendragon Two weeks later
WILLIAM WAS ON his knees, trying to pet Miss Crittenden's head. She snarled and tried to bite him. "There now, nice kitty," he said, and stuck out his hand again. Meggie gave him a disgusted look.
"She is a racer, not some lazy creature to sit on your lap and take treats from you, William. Take care or she'll nip off the end of your finger. What are you doing here? I'm busy."
He rose and dusted off his hands on his tan riding pants. "You don't like me, Meggie."
"No," she said, not looking up from the brushing she was giving Miss Crittenden, a reward for her excellent leaping, this time a running start that kept her in the air for a good two seconds and an amazing distance of over four feet.
"Why? Whatever did I do to you?"
Meggie said, "Why haven't you left to go back to Oxford, William? Perhaps a serious bit of study would improve you."
"Well, I can't go back. You see, I didn't tell Thomas the precise truth. I was sent down, but just for this term. I will go back again, it's just a matter of time."
"Why were you sent down?"
He flushed, turned, and tried to pet Oscar DeGrasse, one of Lord Kipper's mousers, long, lean, short-haired, black as a moonless night, with a chewed-up left ear. Oscar arched his back and purred.
Meggie didn't have much hope for Oscar. True racing cats were born with a goodly amount of arrogance, a cold and snarling sense of self, and woe be to any other cat who challenged him. They were disdainful, they were tough. They would burst their hearts to win. Oscar was asking to be petted. It wasn't a good sign. She'd asked Lord Kipper why the name DeGrasse, and he'd said, quite in a straightforward way, that it was the last name of one of his long-ago mistresses who'd been an excellent mouser in her own right, very dedicated to catching her prey and consuming it. When Meggie had asked him what that meant, he'd just laughed, and lightly touched his fingertip to her mouth. "A roundabout allusion to something you should know about by now."
She'd jerked away. He was a dangerous man; it was stupid ever to be alone with him. Unfortunately he was undoubtedly one of the guards who, when he visited, stuck close to her. Too close for Meggie's comfort. There were always two guards, not just one. Meggie sighed. She wished William would go away. She wanted Thomas. She wanted him to smile at her, kiss her, tell her what had happened to make him go away from her.
She wondered where he was right now. During the day she was never alone, thus here was William. And, of course, Thomas slept with her every night She would lie there on her side of the bed listening to his deep smooth breathing.
He hadn't touched her in two weeks. She'd tried only once to initiate lovemaking with him, and he'd pulled away, saying only, "I'm tired, Meggie. I'm also not interested. Go to sleep."
It was worse than a slap in the face. She wanted to scream, perhaps even yell right in his face, but in the end, she whispered, "What's wrong, Thomas? I don't understand."