When the credits started to roll, my friends got up and left the room; there was only one exit, and they didn’t want to be trapped waiting for the crowd to clear. I lingered in hopes of catching Veronica’s attention, though I had no idea what I should say. As she and her friends walked by, I took a chance.
“Hey, Veronica?”
She turned toward me, looking a little startled.
“Yeah?”
I got out of my seat and stepped a little into the light that was coming in through the open door.
“It’s me. Josh’s old friend from way back… How… How’ve you been?”
Her mind seemed to search for the right frame of reference, until finally, it clicked.
“Oh my god! Hey! It’s been so long!” She motioned to her friends that she’d be out in a second.
“Yeah, a few years at least! Not since the last time I stayed over with Josh… How’s he doing, anyway?”
“Oh, that’s right. I remember all you guys’ games. Do you still play Ninja Turtles with your friends?”
She laughed a little, and I blushed.
“No. I’m not a kid anymore… Me and my friends play X-Men now.” I was really hoping she’d laugh.
She did. “Haha! You’re cute. Do you come to these movies every time?”
What did she say?
Does she really think I’m cute?
Did she just mean I’m funny?
Does she think I’m attractive?
I was still reeling from what she said when I suddenly realized that she had asked me a question; my mind grasped for what it was.
“Yeah!” I said much too loudly. “Yeah, I try to anyway… what about you?”
“I come every now and then. My boyfriend didn’t like these movies, but we just broke up, so I plan on coming more often.”
I felt my heart flutter a bit, and I tried to be casual, but I failed. “Oh, well that’s cool… not that you guys broke up! I just meant that you’d be able to come more often.”
She laughed again.
I tried to recover, “So are you coming the week after next? They’re supposed to show Day of the Dead…”
She looked a little hesitant, so I pressed further and pretended to be charming. “I think we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well in the last few minutes; I’m pretty positive you’d like the movie, especially if you went to the Saturday showing.”
She chuckled. “Well in that case, I’ll be here!”
I wanted so badly to know if she was coming because I had asked her or if she had already intended to attend, but I convinced myself that it didn’t matter; she would be there either way. I was about to suggest that maybe we could sit together when she quickly closed the space between us and hugged me.
“It was really good to see you,” she said with her arms around me.
I was trying to think of what to say when I realized that my biggest problem was that I had forgotten how to talk. Luckily, Chris, who I could hear approaching from the hallway, came in and spoke for me while Veronica incapacitated me with her embrace.
“Dude. You know the movie’s over right? Let’s get the fuck outtu— OHHH BABY!”
Veronica let go and said that she’d see me next time. She was played out of the room by the porn music Chris was making with his mouth. I was furious, but it dissipated as soon as I heard Veronica laughing in the lobby.
On the ride home, Adam asked me how I knew the girl. I explained that he was my best friend’s sister, and this caused an immediate uproar. Chris might have remembered Josh, but their reaction made me glad that I hadn’t mentioned who my friend was, since that would have only served to intensify Chris’ gibing disapproval. I attempted to defend myself by saying that we weren’t really good friends anymore since we hardly ever spoke, but as soon as I said this, I felt terrible. There was a lull in the conversation; I think they understood that it had gone in a bad direction for me — Chris attempted to fix this by leaning over the center console of the car and making kissing sounds at Ryan. The tension broke, and my feelings of guilt began to evaporate as my thoughts returned to Veronica.
I spent the next week and a half in impatient anticipation for what I was planning on considering my first date, even though it probably wouldn’t be a date at all. I thought about what I would say, whether I would try to sit next to her, and what might happen if we somehow wound up alone together, without our respective groups of friends; I even thought about what I would wear, which was not something I had ever really put much consideration into. Day of the Dead couldn’t come soon enough.
Just a few days before the movie, however, the whole plan began to unravel. Ryan told me that he and his family were going out of town, so he wouldn’t be able to drive us. Neither Chris nor Adam had cars, so as a last resort I asked my mom if she could take me. I felt nervous as I walked into the living room to ask her because she seemed to strongly prefer that I go out with a group of friends if I was going to go out at all. However, I think the real reason I was nervous was that this would leave me without any kind of buffer between Veronica and myself. No buffer except for the one offered by her friends, but that provided no comfort to me — talking to one girl made me nervous enough.
When I asked my mother, she responded by telling me that she would think about it, but I persisted, and she noticed the desperation in my voice. She asked why I wanted to go so badly since I had seen the movie before, and I hesitated before saying that I was hoping to see a girl there. She smiled and asked playfully if she knew the girl; remembering the reactions of my friends the night I had run into Veronica, I was tempted to lie, but I thought my mom might not think it was such a big deal. I reluctantly told her that it was Veronica. The smile disappeared from her face, and she coldly said, “No.” When I asked her what the problem was, she told me that I should keep nagging her if my goal was to stay home all weekend, so I backed down.
Having reached an impasse, I decided that I would call Veronica to see if she could pick me up. If she said no, then at least my curiosity regarding whether she was only going to the theatre because I asked her to would be satisfied. There was still the matter of her actually picking me up at my house and how my mom would react to that, but I’d worry about that problem when it actually was a problem.
I had no idea if Veronica still lived at home, but I figured it was still worth a try. When I picked up the phone and dialed the first number, I realized that Josh might answer. I hadn’t talked to him in almost three years, and if he answered, I obviously couldn’t ask to talk to his sister. I felt guilty for calling to speak with Veronica and not Josh, and I felt even worse because, up until that moment, that phone number had always been Josh’s number, but I hadn’t even thought of him as I started dialing.
I tried to think of the last time that I had talked to Josh. For a moment, I thought that it was just a few months after my twelfth birthday, but I realized that I hadn’t actually spoken with him then. I remembered that his parents had called and spoken with my mother — she told me that they were updating their address book and just wanted to confirm that we had the same number. I asked my mom if Josh had asked to speak with me, and my mom looked sad and said that he hadn’t.
As I clutched the phone and held my thumb over the buttons, resentment started to build in me as a way to suffocate the guilt; Josh hadn’t called me in years either, even after he insisted that he would. There was no reason to feel bad about any of this. I dialed the rest of the number that was still embedded in my muscle memory from having dialed it so often when we were children.
After several rings, someone finally picked up, and when I heard the click of the connecting call, I felt my heart rate accelerate. It wasn’t Josh. I felt a mixture of both relief and disappointment — I realized in that second that I really missed Josh. After this weekend, I would call him, but this was my only chance to see if Veronica could or would take me, so I asked for her.