“This is when I’m going to ask you to trust me with that blind faith, Willow. Trust me when I tell you that Mia is just a friend and leave it at that.”
His eyes scorch their pleading gaze into mine. Searching and begging me with the force of his stare. Beseeching without words to believe in him and the fragile relationship we’ve started to build.
“Okay, Kane.”
His shoulders drop, and I realize just how tightly he had been holding his body while he waited for my assurance. While he waited for me to give him my trust completely knowing how much that gesture of blind faith means to me. If I hadn’t witnessed him sag with relief, I might have doubts. The fact I would allow him to keep something obviously troublesome enough that he is visibly struggling with the enormity of it is an immense relief to him. But this man is holding something back, and I have a feeling he wishes he could tell me.
“I promise, Willow, I promise I will tell you everything, but right now … right now, I can’t. Too many people’s lives are going to be affected, and I gave my word. My word, you’ll find, means everything to me. I’m giving it to you and with that promise, know that I care too much about you already that keeping anything from you isn’t something I’m doing lightly.”
I walk over to him. I wrap my arms around his torso and press my cheek into his chest. His heart beats frantically under my ear as his strong arms come around me. It isn’t lost on me that when I would normally tuck my tail and run as fast as I could away from him and the uncertainty of his words, that instead … instead, I run to him. For the first time since this dreamlike reality started to be my life … I’m the one who initiated things and it was me giving him the strength this time.
I DON’T WANT TO LET her go.
The intensity of my feelings has grown to insurmountable levels.
And after tonight’s talk … shit.
I look over at her, sitting quietly in the passenger seat; I smile to myself before looking down at our joined hands. For the second time tonight, she was the one who reached out and connected our bodies. She didn’t even flinch, as if just being apart from each other for one second is unbearable.
I’m beyond thrilled I was able to talk Cam into heading out without me earlier. I know he hates it. If anyone takes his job more seriously than I do, it’s Cam. I’m still not sure what it was that finally convinced him to leave the set without me, but thank fuck he did. I wasn’t ready to share Willow with anyone else right now. Just the thought of leaving her at the house tonight has my skin feeling as if it’s a size too small.
I flex my hand before circling my thumb against her silky skin.
I can’t even explain it to myself, and truth be told, I don’t need to know why I feel so strongly about someone I really just met. I just know without a shadow of doubt that this—right here at this moment—is where I’m meant to be.
This feeling of bone-deep contentment, the connection to someone that feels physical even without a tangible touch, that is what I’ve been missing. What I’ve been looking for. Every second I’m around her, that feeling only grows, and if it continues to flourish like this, then I know everything I’ve been hoping I could have for my future could finally be mine.
She … fuck … she will be mine. I can’t even entertain the thought I won’t feel like this every day.
“You’re looking awfully serious over there.”
I take my eyes off the road and look over at her when her voice fills the comfortable silence around us. My hand flexes against our connection, reassuring me that she’s here … with me.
“Yeah.”
“What’s going through your head?” This time she gives me a squeeze.
“I don’t want to let you go.”
She shifts, and for a second, I think she’s about to pull her hand from mine, but she just turns her body so she can focus on me. “I know the feeling.”
I nod, but choose not to speak.
We’re close to the house that she and Kirby are staying in this week while we film. My house. The house I decided not to stay in because I liked the idea she was in my space, even if I wasn’t there with her.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Kane?”
“Hmm?”
“You want me to trust you so I need you to give me the same in return. What’s going through your mind?”
Checking the rearview mirror and seeing that we’re all alone on this back road, I pull the SUV off the road and push the gearshift into park. The only sound around us is my harsh breathing.
“Kane?” she questions, and I turn toward her, not letting go of her hand.
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to feel your body next to mine? I’m going insane over here, and all I’m doing is bringing you to the house, knowing damn well I’m going to see you in the morning. But instead of enjoying the ride, I’m over here feeling as if I’m coming out of my skin. You give me a calm I haven’t felt in years, Willow. At the same time I feel that peace, my whole body is coming apart because of how strong my want for you is. I’m a starved man, and you’re the meal I’ve been fantasizing about.”
“Why?” She clears her throat. “Why do you feel like you’re coming out of your skin?”
Her innocence is beyond attractive.
“Fuck if I know. I can’t even explain it to myself. It’s been two days, Willow. Two days since I’ve finally gotten you where I’ve craved to have you for months. Hell, years if you count a fleeting glance across a crowded ballroom. I know all too well that we’ve just started something here, but I’m greedy. I want more. More of you. I want it all.” I throw my head back against the headrest and let out a burst of air, more frustrated than I care to admit.
She lets go of my hand, and for a second, my heart picks up speed so fiercely, I can feel the blood pounding through my veins.
Until her soft fingers reach up and cup my cheek.
“You have no idea what hearing you say all of that does to me, do you?”
“Fuck,” I bit out harshly and reach up to pull her hand from my face, pressing it against my rapidly beating heart. “You make me feel alive, Willow Tate. I feel alive after years of nothing but loneliness. Knowing I’m just miles from dropping you off has that loneliness closing back in on me.”
“You aren’t the only one who feels alive after years of feeling like you were walking around dead.” She takes a deep breath, one I feel as if it were my own. “I would be lying if I didn’t admit I’m apprehensive about the things you can’t tell me, but in order to trust you, well, I have to start somewhere.”
God, she’s stronger than she even realizes.
“I’m a selfish man, Willow. I want you with an intensity that’s quickly becoming a living, breathing need.”
I study her face before she shocks the shit out of me and leans over to press her lips to mine. Soft and brief, but if you asked me if I could stop a train with my pinky finger right now, I would probably run to the nearest tracks and prove I could.
She settles back in her seat and with a small smile, nods her head toward the road. “Take me home before Mama Kirby grounds me for breaking curfew.”
Five minutes later, I’m punching in the code to the front gate and pulling the SUV down the driveway. I should be embarrassed that I lost my shit back there, but I feel better than I did before leaving the set that she isn’t upset I couldn’t tell her more about Mia.
I have no doubt that the feeling of dread I felt when she asked about her and the situation I find myself in is what sparked the growing ache the closer we got to the house. For the first time since I started out on this quest to conquer Willow, I was unsure if I would be able to win her over. Not being able to tell her the truth about Mia when I have been begging her to trust me … well, if that isn’t being a hypocrite, I don’t know what is.