"Trying to deal with a whole parade of these characters." I got shaken again.
The bird said, "An apparent retard."
"You see him?"
The huge guy took a swipe at Mr. Big. He missed. The bird stayed over on his blind side, obviously seeing him.
"Be quiet, Garrett."
"Hard to do."
Pretty boy looked baffled. He wasn't used to having his orders ignored. He took a stab at Mr. Big. Maybe he was prejudiced against talking birds. The Goddamn Parrot evaded the blow.
"You try to talk to him?" the bird asked.
"Yeah. He told me to shut up. Then he started playing ragdoll with me. Got any idea who or what he is?"
The big guy pulled me right up close, eye to eye.
"There any divine dentists? He's got teeth all over his mouth, and most of them are rotten. He's got breath like a battlefield three days after... "
Bingo.
The Dead Man got it at the same time. "A war god."
Baffled, the war god set me on my feet and squatted. "You do not fear me?"
"I spent five years at your birthday party. You got nothing left to scare me with." I hoped he didn't have a big talent for bullshit detection. "Who are you? What do you want?"
"I am Shinrise the Destroyer." Roll of drums, please. Thunder of trumpets.
"I know your sister Maggie."
He frowned. He didn't get it. Maybe the world wreckers didn't get together and talk shop.
Where did I get the idea that gods were smarter than people?
"Garrett?" The Goddamn Parrot fluttered to my shoulder. "I don't know the name. Do you?"
"Actually, it seems I should. Maybe from somebody in the Corps."
Shinrise the Destroyer swung a fist in a mighty roundhouse. It tore a few hundred bricks out or the nearest wall. On the far side a couple in the throes of lovemaking took a moment to react. They gaped. The woman screamed. She had no trouble seeing Shinrise, either.
He stomped a foot. Bricks fell out of the wall. I said, "I'd better get out of here before he knocks everything down."
As suddenly as the rage took Shinrise it passed. He grabbed me again. "Have you found the key?"
"No."
"Don't even look."
Far, far off I sensed an echo of Nog is inescapable. "Why not? What do you care? You're not Godoroth or Shayir."
"I have cause to wish misfortune upon both houses. You will refrain from... "
"Sure, big guy. Like your wishes are going to override theirs."
He started to shake me but frowned, tilted his head to one side. Maybe an idea was trying to get in.
The bird told me, "Others are coming." He fluttered upward.
"I know."
Shinrise completed his thought. He grinned. His teeth definitely were his weakness. "I will protect you." He sounded proud of himself.
"Of course you will. And here's where you start. Nog the Inescapable is coming here to snatch me. Discourage him while I find someplace to hide."
I jumped through the broken wall into the room just vacated by the lovers, then used the only door. I glanced back. Shinrise looked like he was beginning to wonder if he had been hornswoggled. Behind him, but close, came Nog is inescapable! strong and tinged with triumph. Nog had the scent.
What did Strait tell me? The Commission was going to caution the players about being so rough? Must not have gotten the word out yet. And Shinrise sure wasn't working for the Board. What he wanted was directly opposed to their desires. Why didn't I find out what his interest was? Oh, yeah. Nog. Nog arrived.
Bricks flew. Thunder boomed. Lightning walked. I clamped my hands over my ears and kept moving. Shinrise the Destroyer lived up to his name by using Nog to finish off the damaged tenement and several of its neighbors. People screamed.
These petty pewter gods were very much into our world now. Maybe whole platoons of minor gods would come out as the deadline got closer. Maybe...
But gods had moved up and down the Street before without the town getting torn up.
Nog is inescapable. Nog seemed amazed that he could be thwarted.
I wished I knew where the hell I was so I could get to where the hell I ought to be. Which, I had a notion, might be right in front of the main altar at Chattaree. I was about to step into the street when I saw a blur coming. Jorken was earning his pay today. He streaked past, headed for the divine ass-kicking contest.
The excitement began to draw a crowd. I saw Shayir and Godoroth alike heading for the turmoil. I moved out, a man in shadow, employing all the caution I had learned during the big dance with the Venageti.
The racket got louder. Chimneys fell. Chunks of roof flew around. Members of the Guard arrived. Residents lost interest and fled the area. I went with them.
44
The Goddamn Parrot located me, dropped onto my shoulder, grabbed hold hard, then faded out on me. He would not answer questions. Apparently the Dead Man had no minds to spare for him. But he did not revert to his naturally obnoxious birdbrain style.
Unseasonal clouds were gathering. Lightning flickered within them. The wind suddenly seemed possessed of a hard, dark edge of desperate anger. The people in the street shivered, cursed, acted more bewildered than frightened. This was something new to everyone.
This was something that was getting out of hand. The Commission had to be napping. This couldn't do any religion any good. I wished I could stop it... I knew how, yes. But I had no viable excuse to pick one god gang over another.
I got my bearings and wished I had not. The Board had done me no favor. I was miles from the Dream Quarter, or any sanctuary. Unless I wanted to duck into Ogre Town. No self-respecting human god would go in there.
No human who wanted to survive the gathering night would go there, either.
I was tired and hungry and thirsty and pissed off about being used and abused. Time was the only weapon I could turn against the gods. I was, definitely, inclined to let as many as possible drift off into oblivion.
It grew dark fast. The breeze became a chill wind. No stars came out. In the distance, lights continued to flicker and flash and reflect off the churning bellies of low clouds. Fires burned and smoke rose and emergency alarms beat at the cooling evening air. Drops of moisture hit my cheek. The last one came in chunk form and really stung.
The air was getting colder fast.
I trotted southward, making good time. Boy, was I getting my exercise today. I reached a familiar neighborhood. It was dark there, and unnaturally quiet. The strangeness was spreading throughout the city. I ducked into a place where I knew I would get served a decent pint and a sausage that wouldn't come with worries about the inclusion of rat, bat, dog, or cat.
"Yo, Beetle."
The proprietor glanced up from his mug polishing. "Garrett! You son of a bitch, where the hell you been? You ain't been in here in three months."
"Been working too hard. Don't get time to get over here the way I used to."
"I've heard some stories. I never believed them."
"The truth is worse than anything you've heard."
I took a pint, sucked down a long swallow, started telling him what had happened the past day and a half.
"Hope you brought a pitchfork, Garrett."
"Huh?"
He pretended to examine the soles of his shoes. "If you don't have a pitchfork, I'm going to make you clean that bullshit out of here with your bare hands."
He didn't believe me.
"I have a hard time believing it myself, Beetle. I wish I could introduce you to those owl sisters."
"My wife would never understand."
"Where the hell is everybody? I haven't seen the place this dead since Tommy Mack's wake."
"Weather."
Something was bothering him. "That all?"
He leaned closer. "Big part of it is, The Call won't put me on their approved list. Account of I let nonhumans drink here."