I lay on my back, staring up at the clear night sky and the flashing red and blue lights from the police cars, and suddenly, there was Johnny Izzard. He’d heard the sirens and was now emerging from the crowd on the corner, ignoring commands from the police to get back. My legs were numb and I tried to lift my head and I felt Johnny take my hand. I heard him call my name and his voice seemed to come from a long way off, as if I was dreaming and couldn’t shake myself awake. And in the dream I saw myself in the early days with the department and even before that, at the vigil over my father’s casket at St. Gabe’s and the baseball games he’d taken me to at the Vet, climbing all those stairs up into the nosebleed seats. “Just us and the pigeons,” he’d say. And then I saw the blood-soaked body of Millie Price and the sleepy eyes of her son and I felt like I was floating and I felt a sudden shudder of cold.
I opened my eyes and Johnny was still there, his bony grip harder on my hand; he was saying my name but I couldn’t hear him. I saw his lips moving and I tried to smile, that awkward, boyish, embarrassed smile I had, and Johnny was shaking his head and saying, “Seamus. Seamus. Seamus.”
PART II. CITY OF OTHERLY LOVE
ABOVE THE IMPERIAL BY DENNIS TAFOYA
East Falls
Jimmy Kelly started making lists of the things he stole. He came out of the Staples on Germantown Avenue with one of the composition books like the kind he’d used at St. Bridget’s and a box of plastic Bics, so when he got back to his apartment he smoked a joint and tried to remember everything he’d boosted. He sat in the old split-open chair that had been there when he moved in, ropes of batting spilled like blue gut around his feet.
He drew spirals to start the cheap pen, then wrote, 8/22, two books, borders chestnut hill, and, 8/24, crackers, p-nut butter, acme. After he’d filled a page he started over, made columns first and went back to June, when he’d walked away from the Youth Study Center on Henry Avenue. He took his time, clicked the pen against his teeth. Listed headphones he’d taken from a stereo store downtown, six DVDs from a bin at a video store way out Ridge Avenue somewhere.
It became his project. He’d fill his coat, stuff things into his pants, then scurry back to the apartment over the Imperial Gardens and add to the list. He never got caught. If things looked too dicey, he’d move on because there was always more to steal. He kept it out of the neighborhood, mostly, and took what was easy rather than what he wanted. He took gum and a Mounds bar from a CVS, a yellow sweater with a golf club over the heart from a thrift store in Germantown. Walmarts and Kmarts were too risky, big chains with too many cameras. Once in the Plymouth Meeting Mall he’d dumped everything in the bathroom and walked out with a guy in a red blazer right behind him. But he never got tagged.
One September night he burned a couple of joints and went downstairs, two bottles of blue nail polish that he’d lifted from a bin at the Rite Aid in his pockets. He dropped down the narrow stairs, his feet bouncing, the muscles in his legs quivering. His friend Jesús had a black Epiphone bass that was called a Nikki Sixx Blackbird, and sometimes Jimmy would put his hands on it while Jesús plucked the wound metal strings. When he was high the feeling in the wires and cords in his legs was like that, a resonant buzzing and snapping that made him smile and put pictures in his head of running through alien landscapes populated by shiny, sexed-up female robots.
In front of the Imperial people came and went with their orders or guys would walk out picking their teeth and patting their bellies, like it wasn’t enough to be full, you had to put on a play about it for your friends. He wanted to ask them why they did it, but half of life seemed like that to Jimmy, like people didn’t want things as much as they liked to dance and sing about how much they wanted them. Jimmy’s theory was that was why people liked movies and videos, because everyone was starring in their own movie all the time. When he’d first escaped from the Youth Study Center up on Henry, he’d spent three days hiding at the movie house at the end of Main Street in Manayunk just going from theater to theater and there was always some scene where a guy is about to take on the bad guys, or just lost his wife, or his best friend, or his dog or something, and the music that’s supposed to make you cry is going and the guy’s just barely holding it together. People loved that moment, Jimmy thought, and they wanted it in real life too.
The real reason to come down from the apartment was because sometimes Grace Lei would step out and take her break, smoke a cigarette and stare out at the traffic. Jimmy liked to watch her, try to catch her eye, try to make her laugh.
“So what’s the difference between sesame chicken and General Tso’s?” he asked her, wishing she’d turn and look at him.
“The seeds.” Grace Lei watched the street. She was tall, and he stood straighter. Her hair hung down to her shoulders. He pictured running his finger along the ends of her hair and wondered if it would be soft, or maybe stiff, like bristles. Nothing would surprise him. He wanted to take the nail polish out and pass it to her, and watched her hands move as she smoked, trying to see if there was color at the tips of her fingers.
“The seeds, huh. That’s it? They should call it General Tso Plus Seeds.”
Jimmy watched through the glass as a Latino kid came out of the back of the restaurant and dropped a plastic bag on the table nearest the door.
Grace turned to Jimmy. “Where do you live? You’re always here.”
“Upstairs.”
A car pulled up, an old Chevy he’d seen before. A kid got out, an Asian kid with a red ball cap on backward and baggy jeans. Gold chains on his wrists and around his neck. He said something to Grace, but she just looked at the street, or at the firemen washing the trucks, or at nothing at all. The kid went into the Imperial and came back out again holding his order up to his face and miming hunger for his friends in the car.
She said to Jimmy, “Yeah, what’s it like up there?”
He turned to Grace, who he thought had never really looked at him before. He kept his body angled away and stole glances at her, as if she was something he was going to put in his pocket. He kicked at a yogurt cup crushed at the curb, its spilled contents a lurid, clotted pink.
“It’s okay. You can see the river, which you can’t really from down here. Sometimes you can.” He was aware that he was high, that he smelled like weed, and took a step farther away along the curb. He didn’t know how she’d feel about that, him being high. She might be cool, but the black-and-white work uniform and the way she held herself made her look somebody who was strict. You never knew about girls.
The kid with the bag got in the car and the guy behind the wheel stomped on the accelerator, almost clipping a van making the turn from Midvale. The Chevy was an old convertible with green metallic paint that glittered, a comet disappearing down Ridge toward Manayunk in a ribbon of green. Jimmy smiled, suddenly conscious of the neighborhood coiled on the hills above them, getting that way you could get under a head full of dope. Everything seemed connected; dark forces were at work moving cars and people around like pieces on a game board.
He turned back to Grace, but she was walking back inside, throwing away a cigarette. Her fingernails looked the same pale color as her fingers, some color that wasn’t yellow and wasn’t brown. There was a thin red stain on the white shirt at her hip. She wore tight black jeans and he let himself picture her stepping into them, her long legs that pale cream shade that he didn’t know what to call. He was suddenly too lonely to head back upstairs and walked around the corner to Buckets for a drink.