Armstrong blinked. "Tusk-anini? Threatening you? That's preposterous, Mr. Snipe. Why, he wouldn't harm a fly-"
"Would, too," said Tusk-anini pedantically. "But only if fly biting me."
"I want this legionnaire confined to quarters!" howled Snipe.
"Lieutenant, you're overreacting," said Armstrong. "I'm as much a rulebook man as anybody, but you have to make allowances. Tusk-anini's been an asset to the company, and his reading doesn't lower our effectiveness in any way."
"I see, Lieutenant, " said Second Lieutenant Snipe. "Well, if that's the way the wind blows, I'll just take the matter up with Major Botchup. And if he sees things my way, I suspect you'll have something to answer for, as well."
"Mr. Snipe, I'll take my chances," said Armstrong. "Would you like to finish inspecting the base before you report to the major?"
"Very well," snapped the other lieutenant. He stomped out the door, and a keen nose would have detected smoke coming from his ears.
Armstrong turned to Tusk-anini and shrugged. "Things are going to be tricky until the captain gets back," he said quietly. "Until then, I suggest you lay low."
The Volton nodded but said nothing, and Armstrong hurried to catch up with Lieutenant Snipe. He managed to avoid any overt confrontations for the rest of the inspection tour, but he knew very well that Snipe would concoct some pretext to find fault.
Chocolate Harry flipped through the pages of his latest issue of Biker's Dream. Somewhere, he'd seen an ad for a new modification package that sounded like just what he needed to get that extra millimeter of performance out of his hawg. Thanks to the traffic in antirobot camouflage, he'd accumulated a nice bit of spare change for just such a purpose. The ad had been somewhere in the back of the mag...
He was still searching when a voice broke through his concentration. "Yo, Sarge, I gotta have a couple of reels of sixteen-gauge copper wire!"
With a sigh, Chocolate Harry set down the magazine. "Couple of reels? What for you need all that copper, Do-Wop?" He didn't bother shifting his feet from off the desktop.
"Captain's orders, C. H.," said Do-Wop, leaning over the supply sergeant's desk. "Me and Soosh gotta find the Hidden Ones, special assignment, top priority. Just ask the captain, you don't believe me-"
Chocolate Harry held up a hand for silence. "I know all about the special assignment, dude, that ain't what I asked you. What for you need that much copper? That's damn near a year's supply for the whole company, and we aren't exactly where I can resupply all that easy. If there's somethin' else you can substitute I-"
"Nah, Soosh says it's gotta be copper, Sarge," said Do-Wop; a distinct whine in his voice. "You don't wanna mess up this special assignment Captain Jester gave us, do ya? He'll be really mad if it don't get finished because you wouldn't give us the stuff we needed."
"Ain't nobody said I wouldn't give it to you," said C. H. He swung his feet off the desk and sat up straight in the chair. "But you do have to give me all the right paperwork, cap'n's orders or not. Now, for starters, where's your Form SL-951-C-4? Can't give out strategic supplies without that one, in triplicate."
"Man, nobody told us we needed no forms," said Do-Wop, a look of dismay on his face. "Can you give me the wire and the forms, and I'll bring 'em back later?"
Chocolate Harry shook his head gravely. "Not unless I want to get in a heap of trouble, myself. This new major's a stickler for routine. Forms first, then your copper. That's definitely strategic supplies. Unless maybe you're gonna use it for some nondesignated strategic purpose, in which case maybe I can dispense with the SL-951-C-4. But I gotta know up front."
"Uh, yeah, nondesignated strategic purpose, that's the ticket," said Do-Wop, grinning. "Got yer strategic purpose right here. Soosh tells me, he's gonna set up a biomass detector to search for the Hidden Ones the lizards have been trying so hard to catch, which they ain't seen hide nor hair of 'em except their comm signals."
"Biomass detector?" The supply sergeant frowned. "With two whole reels of copper wire; you oughta be able to track a stray geefle bug halfway across the galaxy. What do you clowns think you're looking for?"
"All we know is it's too hard to find by bare eyeball," said Do-Wop. "That's why Soosh decided to rig something special. He dug out the designs from some old program, and he's doin' some custom mods..."
Chocolate Harry rubbed his bearded chin, speculating. "Man, I know you're just followin' the captain's orders, but maybe you should look around a minute before you get in over your head. Have you dudes ever thought that maybe the reason the Zenobians can't find no enemy is that the enemy ain't alive?"
Do-Wop frowned. "Ain't alive? You mean we're looking for spooks?"
"Nah, nothin' like that," said Chocolate Harry. "I'm thinkin' robots."
Do-Wop laughed. "Robots! You trying to run that crazy scam on me? Half the company must be wearin' that purple junk you're sellin'."
Chocolate Harry's face turned solemn. "Do-Wop, it pains me to have you question my good intentions. This here robot camo is guaranteed effective. Ain't a robot in the Alliance can spot you, if you're wearin' it. If one of those renegade robots gets you in its sights, and you ain't camouflaged-"
"Aww, save the scare stories for the rookies, Sarge," said Do-Wop with a wave of his hand. "Now, are you gonna make me fill out twenty pages of papers, or can I get that copper Soosh wants? Or do we have to call the captain and tell him you won't let us have it?"
"All right, all right," said Chocolate Harry. He thought a moment about making Do-Wop go to the major to get the papers signed, but on second thought decided there was no percentage in calling the new CO's attention to Supply just yet. That round of trouble could wait indefinitely, as far as he was concerned. He shrugged and said, "I'm just tryin' to make sure my buddies' behinds are covered, is all. Go on around back and tell Double-X what you need. If he gives you any hassle, tell him it's cool with me, OK?"
"OK, Harry, I knew you'd see it my way," said Do-Wop, grinning. "I'll tell Soosh about that robot theory, and maybe we'll add metal and plastic detectors to what we're setting up. Thanks!"
"Think nothin' of it," said Chocolate Harry. He picked up his copy of Biker's Dream and began looking for the ad again. Maybe this time he could find it without being interrupted for company business.
Phule had booted up his Port-a-Brain and settled back to look over his investments-there were a couple of items in his portfolio that hadn't been performing well, and he thought it might be time to divest them-when the hoverjeep's engine alarm began to beep. "What does that mean, Beeker?" he said, looking up from the screen. They'd put the vehicle on automatic for the trip back to base, expecting no traffic or weather problems. Now, halfway home, something was going wrong.
"We seem to be approaching a magnetic anomaly, sir," said Beeker, who was sitting in the front seat near the instrument panel. He peered at the readout and said, "Power seems to be dropping abruptly."
"That's not good," said Phule. "Let's find someplace to set down before power runs out entirely. If worse comes to worst, we'll call base and have somebody take a run out and pick us up."
"Yes, sir," said Beeker. "There's a clear area just ahead. I'll put us down there." He slid into the driver's seat and flipped the control switch over to manual. After a moment, he said, "The controls aren't responding, sir. Shall I activate the emergency signal?"