“Was?”
He didn’t answer.
“Why won’t you ask me? Just because I cut my hair?”
He tried to reply and couldn’t. Finally, “I don’t know. Would you say yes if I did?”
“You haven’t given me the chance to answer. You’re assuming I’ll say no. Don’t you have enough respect for me to give me the chance to make up my own mind? Is this the kind of relationship we used to have, where I just went along with you no matter what?”
That shocked him into silence. The waitress reappeared to take their dinner orders before he could answer. Laura handed her the menu. “I’ll have the grouper Florentine with a baked potato, extra sour cream please, and asparagus.”
She looked at Rob as his grin spread ear to ear. Somehow that seemed to annoy her. “What?” she snapped.
“That’s what you always ordered.”
Laura reined in her temper, not wanting a repeat of their fight Saturday morning. She apologized, he leaned over and kissed her, and they moved past the incident to settle into a comfortable conversation. Rob pulled her concealed carry permit out of his pocket and handed it to her.
“And here’s this.” He smiled, but she noticed it held no humor. “You’re now legal.”
She studied it. Yes, she’d been carrying the gun, actually feeling vulnerable when she took it off for a shower, or to put it in the drawer of the nightstand to sleep. “Thanks.” She slipped it into her wallet. “Not sure if I should hope I do or don’t need to use it.”
Once their food arrived he broached the subject again.
“Would you consider seeing a jerk like me exclusively?”
She laughed, nearly choking on a bite of grouper. “Is that how you asked me the first time?”
“No,” he admitted. “But I feel pretty vulnerable right now, so I felt honesty was probably the best approach.”
She tilted her head, considering. “I guess since you saw me looking like something out of a George Romero flick and still wanted me, I should give you a chance.”
His jaw fell open.
“What?” she asked.
“That’s something you used to say. You love his movies.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
“See? There’s hope then, isn’t there?”
He smiled. “I hope so.”
“Then yes. I think we should.”
“Should what?”
“You aren’t chickening out on me already are you?”
“Huh? Oh! Sorry.” He laughed. “No, I’m not chickening out on you.” He took her hands in his and gently squeezed them. “I would never do that.”
After dinner they walked along the beach, by the Boca Grand lighthouse. It was a beautiful, cloudless night. Under a quarter-full moon, and with only the inky Gulf out to the west, the stars shimmered overhead like a magical blanket. The warm evening was tempered by the cool breeze coming off the Gulf. There were a few boats out in the Pass getting in some night fishing, but other than that, they were alone.
Rob risked feeling for her hand and she let him take it. Almost like old times.
Almost.
Before, he would have taken her home and they would have made love before falling asleep entwined like an ancient puzzle.
Before, they would have deeply kissed before parting and said “I love you” to each other.
Before.
Rob wanted to kill the bastard who took not only Laura’s memory, but his life. His future. The old Laura might never return, and neither might the happiness he used to know.
They stopped by the ruins of the old phosphate docks and she looked across the pass toward Don Pedro Island. “What’s that?”
She hadn’t been out in the boat yet, Steve refusing to take her out on the water until her ribs were completely healed. Rob explained it to her, pointing out landmarks. She never needed a chart close to shore before. She used to have every barrier island, every fishing cove, every sandbar committed to memory.
There was that word again. While her dive knowledge was intact, apparently her navigational expertise was still MIA.
The no-see-ums swarmed and she asked to go home. They returned in separate cars to her condo. Steve had brought Doogie home for her from the shop. When Rob reached for the leash to take him out, she stopped him.
“I’ll take him.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”
“It’s okay. I can handle it.” She patted the small of her back. “I’m legally packing, now, remember?” She smiled, but it held no humor.
She clipped the lead to the Lab’s collar and they went out. Rob kicked his shoes off by the door and waited nervously until they returned a few minutes later.
“See?” She smiled. “I’m getting better all the time.”
They watched TV until the eleven o’clock news. Laura yawned and couldn’t stop. “I have to go to sleep or I won’t be able to wake up in the morning.”
He nodded. “All right. I’ll be right there. I want to check the locks and get the coffeepot set for in the morning.”
She patted his leg and after hesitating for a moment, kissed him on the lips. “Good night, Rob.”
“Night.”
His eyes followed her down the hall. It was strange watching her walk away from him with not only a different gait, but now a different look, too. She wasn’t his Laura.
Then a chilling thought struck him—could he get used to the new Laura?
Chapter Twenty-Four
When Rob awoke the next morning, Laura had already left for the shop. A note lay on the counter next to a fresh pot of coffee.
Maybe we could have dinner at your place tonight? Bring Doogie by the shop if you need to. - L.
His stomach knotted. It was their house. They owned it together. They’d thought of it as theirs, not his.
They had agreed she would rent out the condo after the wedding and move in with him.
Before.
He slammed his fist against the counter hard enough to rattle the glasses in the drainer. Doogie ran into the kitchen, worried.
“It’s okay, boy.” He spent a moment loving the dog before going to get a shower.
“You’re in awful early, kiddo,” Steve observed.
Laura set her coffee cup on the desk. “I woke up early.” The truth was, she wanted to be out of the house before Rob woke up. She didn’t want to face him, afraid he’d sense the mood she was in.
Despite having his comforting presence next to her in bed, nightmares plagued her. Not just the one about the door and the shadow, which she’d sadly come to expect every night. But dreams about other men, sexy, strange, odd dreams involving bondage and spankings.
And orgasms.
And Rob hadn’t been in them.
She didn’t want to be faced with trying to explain all of that to him when she didn’t even understand it.
Steve puttered around the shop for ten minutes before finally planting himself next to her desk.
“So?”
“So…what?”
“Laura, you never could play that game with me. How did Rob react to the new hairstyle?”
She shrugged. “I think he was a little freaked out.”
Steve waited for her to continue but she didn’t. “And then what happened?”
“Not much. We had dinner, took a walk, went home. That’s about it.”
He shook his head. “For a writer, you aren’t a very good storyteller.”
The fact was she hadn’t done any writing since the attack. She spent several hours going through her past articles and the journals she’d found, but she worried perhaps that part of her was gone forever.