“So we’re good?” Anspaugh asked. Fortunately, the man was tunnel-visioned and didn’t ask any questions about the case they were discussing. A normal agent would at least express a passing interest, given the need for witness protection and prison visits. Anspaugh, however, saw only his own investigations, his own ambitions.
Which made Wyatt even more uncomfortable about tonight’s operation.
“There are conditions to Agent Fletcher’s involvement.”
“What conditions?” The other man’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Lily is not a field agent. She has no experience, and I will not have her put in jeopardy during this mission.”
“Sir, I’m fine, really-”
He cut her off with an abrupt wave of his hand. “She remains off-site, an observer only, nowhere near the takedown location.”
Anspaugh rolled his eyes. “Oh, for Chrissakes, we’re talking about a pervert here, not Jack the Ripper.”
Wyatt merely lifted a brow. “Is that a no?”
The other man hesitated.
“Very well, then. I’m afraid I will not grant Agent Fletcher permission to assist.”
“Wait a minute, Blackstone,” the other man said, his neck growing distinctly red above his tight collar. “It’s not a problem. She can hang back in the surveillance van; she won’t be alone for one minute.”
Lily opened her mouth again, but Wyatt met her eye, silently telling her it was this way or no way. He already half regretted letting it go this far.
She snapped it closed again.
“Very well. Agent Fletcher, you are free to assist Agent Anspaugh tonight.”
Anspaugh beamed, apparently not even noticing Lily’s tension, the way her hands twisted in front of her and she kept her head down. He was so pleased with himself, he got up and said, “See? All good. Toldja I’d take care of ya. I’ve got a few guys wiring up the empty house down in Williamsburg right now, but we need to get there soon. Be ready to go in about thirty minutes,” before swaggering out of the room.
He hadn’t offered a handshake on his departure any more than he had on his arrival. Which only meant Wyatt wouldn’t have to reach for the hand sanitizer. His office felt grimy enough just from the agent’s used oxygen.
“Shut the door.”
Lily did so, keeping her back toward him until the latch clicked. Then for a few seconds longer. Her whole body straightened visibly before she turned around. “I was on my way in here to tell you.”
He made no effort to hide his skepticism. “Of course you were.”
“I mean it. This all got out of hand so quickly; I was just doing some computer stuff for them, a little brain-storming.” A bitter laugh escaped her. “Honestly, at first, I thought Anspaugh was just trying to hit on me and I was about to tell him to go away.”
“Which was when he dangled an actual suspect in your face.”
Appearing stricken, Lily asked, “Do you think he’s lying?” She immediately shook her head and answered for him. “No. I don’t think he is. The area fits geographically. Plus, I read the transcripts. Lovesprettyboys used the word ‘delightful’ all the time in Satan’s Playground. This supposedly young boy is using it, when no real kid ever would.”
“Even if he’s not lying, you have been.”
Lily sank into the chair. “I’m so sorry.”
At least she hadn’t tried to deny it, or downplay it as only a lie by omission. That garbage didn’t fly here, not with the stakes in their job.
“I’m serious, though, about planning to tell you. You can ask Alec. I promised him last night that I would let you know today.”
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I don’t need to go back and forth between my people confirming their stories. That’s not the kind of office I run. Either trust is there, or it’s not.”
Her eyes closed briefly, her throat bobbing as she swallowed hard.
Not letting up on her, he pressed on. “Right now, it’s not. I’m questioning your loyalties, wondering if I can trust you.”
“You can…”
“But you obviously don’t have much trust in me if you kept this secret.”
“That’s not true,” she snapped, her chin jerking up as she reacted angrily for the first time since she’d walked into the room. “I trust you. I trust every member of this team.”
“Then why? Why did I have to find out what one of my own team members was up to by hearing it from a fool like Anspaugh?”
The steam left her as quickly as it had come on. “It’s this guy, Lovesprettyboys. That’s all; it’s this one perp. I want to stop him, Wyatt.”
She had managed to call him by his first name without prompting. Progress.
“But it’s not just wanting him stopped, is it?” he asked.
“No. It’s about me stopping him.”
Exactly as he’d expected. “Because you’ve let this become personal.”
She jerked to her feet, thrusting a frustrated hand into her blond hair, sending it spilling from its loose bun. “It’s not personal. I’m not confusing this guy with the demon from my own past. I just…”
Wyatt dropped his arms onto his desk and straightened in his chair. When Lily didn’t explain, he did it for her. “You just want to stop feeling helpless. To do something instead of having it done to you.”
Lily turned to glance at him, her lips trembling as she whispered, “Yeah.”
Glancing down, Wyatt rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease away the tension and the stiffness. Also trying to put himself in the young agent’s shoes.
No, he didn’t like that she’d hidden this from him. But he couldn’t positively say he wouldn’t have acted the same way. Even someone with the power to segregate his emotions from nearly every aspect of his life probably couldn’t stand feeling so powerless, so victimized, without any chance at changing it.
For someone like Lily, who he sometimes thought was too soft to be in the bureau at all, it was utterly impossible.
“All right,” he finally said with a heavy sigh. “Go do what you have to tonight.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Don’t thank me. Just do some thinking, would you? About what you really want, where you really see yourself. Because if you can’t move past this and focus on the here and now rather than what happened to your family, then I can’t have you here working these kinds of violent crimes.”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Think about it. And decide, soon, if you want to put in for a transfer. Once you are absolutely certain, I’ll support you either way.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his aching neck again. “Now go. Before I change my mind.”
She said nothing. Within a few seconds, the clicking of the door signaled she had gone, hopefully not slinking out in humiliation, but rather ready to do what he’d asked her to do: Think about her life and decide whether to start living it again.
Fortunately for Alec, after they left the prison, Sam had asked him to stop at a mall so she could pick up a few things, including the jeans and thick sweater she now had on. They were much better for his sanity, as he again sat with her in a hotel room, than if she’d still been dressed as she had been earlier.
He’d also insisted on buying her a birthday ice-cream cone, though she seemed anything but interested in celebrating. One hell of a way to spend a birthday.
“What do they call this, déjà vu all over again?” she asked with a soft sigh.
Considering he was again parked by the window, and she again across the room, he could only echo the sound.
“So are you ever going to finish telling me what Jimmy had to say this afternoon?”
He had begun filling her in about his odd conversation with the convict right after they’d left the prison a couple of hours ago. Then Lily had called to arrange tonight’s safe-house schedule, and he’d been able to think about nothing else but playing another round of try-to-avoid-sleeping-with-the-witness.