Then, “You don’t look like you’re in meltdown over a hot guy.”
That wasn’t Lash and my eyes flew to the wide doorway that led to the bedroom area where Gray was lounging, shoulder against the jamb, arms crossed, ankles crossed, lean hips hitched, eyes on me.
I was on my side, head in hand, elbow in the bed but, seeing him, I shot up to a straight arm, hand in the bed and stared, my breath clean leaving me.
Gray’s eyes held mine then they traveled down my body then his entire expression changed to one I hadn’t seen in seven years. One for just over two months I saw often. One I never forgot, not for a day and one that had a profound effect on my entire body.
“Jesus, fuck,” he muttered.
“How did you get in here?” I whispered.
His eyes moved to mine, his arms uncrossed and between two long fingers he held a keycard.
But he didn’t answer.
“How did you get that?” I asked.
He casually shoved the keycard in his back pocket, re-crossed his arms on his chest and kept his eyes on me but he didn’t speak.
“Gray?” I called.
“You sleep with him.”
It was a statement not a question.
I held his gaze and for some ridiculous reason explained quietly, “We whisper about our days before we fall asleep and he cuddles. I like that. Not feeling alone even when I’m asleep.”
Gray pushed away from the doorjamb and started toward the bed, saying, “I’ll remember that.”
At his movement, I pushed up to my knees and scooted back asking, “What?”
“I’ll remember you like to whisper about your day before you fall asleep and you like cuddling. I’ll remember that. Though, already knew that last part.”
I hit headboard and changed directions, scooting quickly off the bed repeating, “What?”
Gray changed directions too, moving to round the bed toward me, saying, “I think you heard me, Ivey.”
What was happening?
“What are you doing here?”
He was almost at me as he said, “Told you we had to talk. We’re gonna do other things first, then we’ll talk.”
At his presence, his movements and his inference, my heart leapt into my throat then my feet leapt onto the bed. I ran across its wide expanse and jumped down the other side, eyeing the doorway, knowing I was acting like a lunatic, not caring even a little bit and then seeing Gray had changed directions and was again coming at me.
He had a mind to do it he’d get to me fast. I knew it. I didn’t have a prayer.
“Wait!” I cried putting a hand up but he didn’t even slow.
But he did speak.
“Honest to God, dollface, you need to stop running around in that fuckin’ nightie. You’re killin’ me.”
I was breathing fast even though I was not moving, not able to get a lock on all that I was feeling. Panic, a little bit. Confused, definitely. Excited.
Oh yeah.
Panic, as it does, won out and I made a dash toward the seating area not even knowing why I was doing it but I was caught with an arm around my belly, hauled back into a hard body, walked back swiftly then I was going down. Gray landed on the bed, I landed on Gray then he slid me off him and rolled right on top of me.
Yes, that was what I said.
Right on top of me.
I took his heavy weight, I loved his heavy weight and I looked into his heated eyes.
Oh God.
“Gray –” I whispered.
“Fuck, Jesus, fuck,” he hissed and his forehead dropped down to mine. “I missed you sayin’ my name like that.”
Tears filled my eyes and my heart started beating triple time.
“What’s happening here?” I whispered.
His head went back up and his hand came to frame my face, his thumb sliding out high across my cheekbone under my eye.
“Please don’t cry anymore, Ivey.”
I pulled in a trembling breath in an attempt to get a lock on it, succeeded in that endeavor and repeated, “What’s happening here?”
“I need you to know I don’t think you’re anything but Ivey.”
My head shook slightly with confusion and I asked, “Sorry?”
“You’re not anything but Ivey. Way those two guys got your back, you never have been.”
“I don’t…” I cleared my throat because my voice came out croaky, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t think you’re a whore. I don’t think you’re trash. I don’t think you’re anything but Ivey, the prettiest thing I ever saw seven years ago and seriously the prettiest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen five minutes ago wearin’ that fuckin’ nightie.”
My body froze under him and my eyes froze on his face.
Gray wasn’t done speaking.
“I loved you then. I love you now. I’ve loved you every day for seven years. You left, flashback to my Mom, flashback to my Dad pinin’ for my Mom. He loved her, Christ, he loved her. Ate away at him when she left. He never got it. Never. And that pain dug deep and grew bitter so when she came back he never forgave her. Three years they lived in the same town, he never forgave her. She came to his funeral and she looked crushed. She actually looked it. Like her world just ended and even now I see her and that haunts her eyes, what she lost, what she threw away, what she’ll never get back. And that was me when you left, Ivey. I knew it was happening to me, I felt it, I understood it, I lived it with my Dad and knew it was happening to me and I didn’t do fuck all to try to stop it.”
He couldn’t be serious.
This couldn’t be happening.
“You love me?” I breathed.
His eyes didn’t leave mine and the intensity didn’t leave his.
“Yeah.”
“You love me,” I stated.
“Yeah.”
“Every day for seven years?”
“Every day, every minute, every second since you blew on me.”
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I stared into his eyes.
He was serious.
This was happening.
Oh my God.
Gray’s thumb slid across my cheekbone again and he said gently, “Now, you get that, can you relax so I can kiss you then I can fuck you then we can talk about important shit then I’m gonna fuck you again then we’ll go to sleep and while we do, we’ll cuddle.”
I stared at him again then whispered, “Say it.”
“Say what?”
“Order me to tell you I love you.”
The instant the words came out of my mouth, his eyes closed, a shadow of pain crossed his face and he dropped his head to the side of mine.
He remembered.
He missed that too.
He missed it badly just like me.
Then his hand found mine, his fingers laced tight and his lips went to my ear.
And there he whispered words I longed to hear for over seven long years, “Say you love me, Ivey.”
I turned my head, my arm stealing around him and I whispered back, “I love you, Gray.”
His head lifted, mine kept turning and we both went for it, our mouths colliding.
We had a lot of making up to do. Seven years.
And it was clear both of us had the same thing on our minds.
Desperate, even greedy, mouths taking, tongues driving, hands bumping into each others, I tore his shirt over his head then I yanked at his belt. Gray took over and I multitasked, moving down, pulling off his boots, his socks then tugging at the legs of his jeans.
Then he was naked, gorgeously naked and hard, hard everywhere. He rolled back into me and, whoosh! My panties were gone then, whoosh! My nightie was gone and then we really went for it, driven, near frantic, like one or the other of us would disappear into thin air and we had only that moment then the next and the next.