‘I have a client who runs an office equipment business. His name is James Torrent.’ I recognised it from vans I had seen around town, in Edinburgh and Glasgow. ‘He supplies everything other than stationery; furniture, fittings, computers, photocopiers, the lot.
‘It’s a really big company; Mr Torrent plans to go public in a year, but first he’s moving into new corporate headquarters on the outskirts of Edinburgh, near the airport. He’s a very important client for us, our biggest, in fact, but the thing is, he’s very difficult to deal with. What he wants he gets, and if you can’t give it to him, you’re out; fired, no appeal, that’s it.
‘My problem is that when we got the business, part of my pitch said that we would arrange a big opening ceremony for the new headquarters, and that we would have a national celebrity to cut the tape. That’s where I was hoping. .’
I gasped; I couldn’t help it. ‘You want me to open this guy’s office?’
She flushed, and let out a nervous sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough. ‘Well, not exactly. . I mean it would be great if you could come on the day as well, but. .
‘The thing is, Mr Torrent wants Ewan to perform the ceremony; in fact he’s told me that if I can’t get him to do it, he’ll give his business to another company. He means it too. It would be a disaster for us, Oz, if we lost that account so quickly. He’s our biggest client and word would get around the marketplace like wildfire. On top of that, he owes us quite a bit of money. He’s a very slow payer, and I reckon that if he fires us we’ll never see any of it. We’ve bought in things for him, printed material, high quality photography, and we’ve paid our suppliers already. We could go belly-up if he defaults on us.’
I had a sudden vision of Alison, belly-up. I also guessed what she was leading up to, but I played it out.
‘I see your problem. So how do you want me to help? I can think of one way. Remember that guy Liam at GWA, who gave you my number? He could pay your man Torrent a visit, with a couple of the boys. You might not keep the business, but you’d get your money, even if it did have blood and snot all over it.’
‘Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,’ she said gloomily. ‘I’m not so sure they could frighten this man, though.’
‘You’ve never met big Jerry.’ I laughed to myself at the thought of my enormous friend. ‘But if that’s not a runner, do you want me to introduce you to a good lawyer? My guy Greg would sue him for you, I’m sure.’
‘That would take too long. The bank’s getting twitchy about our overdraft as it is. No, Oz, what I’m hoping is that you’ll agree to approach Ewan on our behalf.’
My guess had been spot on. ‘Christ, Alison, I don’t even know the guy. Why can’t you ask him? Okay, so he pinched your boyfriend’s bird once. Big deal. If you talk to him he might fancy his chances of doing it again.’
‘That’s one reason why I can’t,’ she shot back. ‘But it goes deeper than that. Ewan does not like his name being over the door of our company. He wrote to us and asked us to call ourselves something else, but David wouldn’t hear of it. He can’t do anything about it. . I mean, he doesn’t hold the copyright on it or anything. . but his father told David’s father that Ewan thinks we’re cashing in on his fame, and he’s furious about it. Even David’s father and uncle aren’t speaking now because of it.
‘No, I can’t talk to him; it would be difficult even if David would let me. Help me, Oz, you’re our only hope.’
‘Fuck me! You sound just like Carrie Fisher in Star Wars. Listen, I may have entered Jedi as my religion on the last census form, but it doesn’t mean I am one. I’m a supporting actor; he is big time. I’ve got no grease with the man; he’ll barely even say hello to me on set.’
‘Oz, you could talk anybody into anything if you put your mind to it. My God, you talked your way into me, and no one had done that before.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh yeah? You reckon I could do it again, then?’
She looked at me, over her glass; I saw that her hand was trembling, very slightly. ‘If that’s what it takes to get you to talk to Ewan,’ she whispered.
I nodded towards the door. ‘In advance?’
‘Okay.’
I turned to the barman and made a ‘two more’ sign. ‘You can relax,’ I told her. ‘You don’t have to shag me into it; I’ll talk to him for you. I’ll do more than that; if Capperauld tells me to piss off, I’ll ask Miles Grayson to do it. Mr Torrent will not turn him down, I guarantee you.’
Her face lit up; it reminded me of the time I gave her a week in Playa del Ingles for Christmas. . hey, big spender.
‘You will? You’re wonderful, Oz. I knew I could rely on you. Hell, let’s go to your place; I’ll sleep with you anyway.’
I laughed. ‘You must be really attached to that fiance of yours.’
‘Never mind him. . this is a special occasion! We can call it for old times’ sake.’
‘My dear, bitter experience has taught me that going over old ground for the sake of it is always a bad idea. If it wasn’t right then, it wouldn’t be right now. And anyway. . although I am astonished to hear myself say this. . I can’t.’
The way she smiled at me made me feel good. ‘The girl in Glasgow? The one who had your baby?’
I nodded.
‘What are you doing in Edinburgh, then?’
‘Taking things one step at a time.’
‘Is it really her, or is it the baby?’
‘Until now I’d have said it was wee Jan, but the truth is, it’s her too.’
‘I’m happy for you.’
‘Don’t be, not yet. It might not work. Just let me be happy for you.’
A cloud crossed her face, as the barman put down two more drinks on the table. I gave him another tenner and told him to keep the change. ‘What’s up?’ I asked as he left. ‘You not so sure about him any more?’
‘I was ready to go to bed with you, wasn’t I?’
‘Millions are. Has the business got more important than him, is that it? It could be that way with Susie and me, you know. Up to now, her company’s been her life. There’s a lot of adjusting to be done.’
‘Maybe. Probably. Yes. But that’s not what’s wrong, or not all of it, at any rate. It’s David. I don’t know where he is.’
‘What do you mean? Have you looked under the bed?’
‘I’m serious. Anyway, we don’t live together. No, I haven’t seen him for nearly a week; he hasn’t been into the office since Monday, and he hasn’t been answering the phone at home. I went round to see him on Wednesday, and then again on Friday, but he wasn’t in either time.’
‘Has he done this before?’
Alison shook her head. ‘No, never. He’s Mr Reliable, usually. I don’t know what to make of it.’
‘One of two things, I’d guess; he’s either lost his nerve over this problem client of yours and done a runner, or he’ll turn up tomorrow morning smelling very faintly of a fragrance which is not on your dressing table.’
She pouted. ‘He wouldn’t do either of those things.’
‘You were ready to do the second. Why shouldn’t he be? What’s his phone number?’ She recited it; I took out my mobile, punched it in and handed it to her. She listened for a while then shook her head.
‘Answering machine.’
‘Doesn’t mean he’s not there; I do that all the time. Where does he live?’
‘In Union Street, opposite the Playhouse Theatre. Why?’
‘Let’s go there now, the two of us, and thump on his door.’
‘I couldn’t do that.’
‘You did already.’
‘Yes, but not with you.’
‘He’ll answer the door if he’s in there and I thump it. If he’s got a bird in there he’s hardly going to open it if he thinks it’s you, is he?’
She killed half of her second drink. ‘I suppose not. Okay, let’s do it. But if he has got someone with him, will you at least pretend that you’re sleeping with me?’
‘How big is he?’
‘About half your size.’
‘Okay.’
Chapter 14