Some things should get money, but they were the plain vanilla boring things. I was in favor of stuff for ‘readiness’ This is the gas for the planes and ships and tanks, and the bullets for the guns, and the replacement parts for what we already owned. It was money to send people for training and to the various schools. It was for intelligence programs so you knew who the bad guys were and what they were up to. It was for various research and development programs to see what might be around the next bend. None of this is as sexy as a brand new invisible plane or boat. Most of them don’t work as advertised anyway, but boy are they cute and beautiful!
Perhaps the strangest aspect of my getting onto the Armed Services Committee was that I gained a new ‘assistant’ The Pentagon assigns an officer to ‘help’ most members of the committee, so we can better do our jobs of exercising guidance over Congress’ relations with the services. Pretty much everybody on the committee except for the most junior members gets a liaison officer. By objective standards, since this was my first time on the committee, I was a junior member, but since I was in my third term as a Representative and was now surprisingly high in seniority, I got a liaison. This was announced in December of 1994, after the announcement I was moving to Armed Services. Shortly thereafter, on a day when I was in my old office in Longworth prior to moving to Rayburn, Mindy announced I had an appointment with some Army officers.
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I knew that Floyd had a liaison, as did the minority leader of the committee. I figured I’d probably get a dog-and-pony-show orientation and a list of phone numbers or something. What I wasn’t expecting was a Major General in a Class A uniform, and a Lieutenant Colonel in a dark blue pinstripe suit. I knew he was a light bird because he happened to be one Harlan Buckminster. My eyes lit up when Mindy, who couldn’t have known of our friendship, brought them into my office. “Congressman Buckman, this is General Thompson…” she said, beginning the introductions.
I reached out and shook his outstretched hand. “General.”
“Congressman.”
“… and Lieutenant Colonel Buckmeyer,” she finished.
“Colonel Buckmeyer! So nice to meet you! Run out of clean uniforms, did we?” I said as introduction.
Harlan rolled his eyes and reached for my hand. “Keep it up smartass. I know stuff about you I am sure Marilyn doesn’t know about yet.”
“And if you don’t, I’m sure you can make something up?” I replied with a laugh, and shook his hand. I turned to Mindy and said, “Lieutenant Colonel Buckminster is an old friend from way, way back.”
Mindy blushed deeply. “I am so sorry, Colonel…”
Harlan laughed and waved it off. “Forget it, Miss. Ask me sometime and I’ll tell you those same stories about the Congressman I am going to tell his wife.”
“An empty threat. I know just as many about you. Come on in, gentlemen. How can I help the U.S. Army today?” I let Mindy out of my office and showed the two men over to the couch it my sitting area. I sat in an armchair facing them. “What brings you here?”
It was the general who responded. “Congressman, I’m with the Congressional Liaison Office at the Pentagon, and I wanted to introduce you to the officer we have selected to be your liaison. Colonel Buckminster will be able to help you with any requests for information or assistance you might have, as well as to answer any questions you might have in regards to your duties on the Armed Services Committee. We think it’s important to provide all the help we can, especially since this is your first time on the committee.”
I arched an eyebrow at this gigantic load of horseshit, and glanced over at Harlan. “And this is the officer you’ve selected? I am sure the colonel told you we have known each other for years.”
“Yes, sir, he did. The rest of the office and I think that will help to make a good working relationship. Is that going to be a problem?” he responded innocently.
“Oh, no, no problem. Exactly what do you see Colonel Buckminster doing?”
At that the general and Harlan alternated explaining Harlan’s duties, which consisted of working half the time with me and the other half the time with the Armed Services Committee, helping out however he could. It smelled to the high heavens, but I couldn’t fault the Pentagon for trying to influence me. After a few minutes, I nodded and said that Harlan would certainly be acceptable, and asked General Thompson if Harlan could stay so we could catch up on old times.
Thompson beamed and said, “Of course, Congressman. Lieutenant Colonel Buckminster can find his way home, I’m sure.”
“We’ll make sure of it,” I asserted. I stood and ushered the General out. Harlan stayed in his seat.
I came back over and sat across from Harlan again. “The last I heard, you were out at Sill doing something staff-like. When did you come to Washington? How’s Anna Lee and the kids?”
“Anna Lee and the kids are fine. I only arrived yesterday. You’re my new duty assignment.”
“That figures. And you just happened to be available, right?”
“You’re not buying that? Are you possibly implying that a general officer of the United States Army might be less than truthful to a Representative of the People in this great democracy?” asked my friend. “Carl, you’ve become so cynical as you’ve aged!”
I snorted and laughed at that. “How many hundreds of officers did they have to sift through to find you?”
He gave me a wry smile and shrugged. “Probably several hundred. I think they took every officer’s name from all the way back to our ROTC training camp classes and added in anybody you might have served with in the 82nd, and then stripped out everybody who had either left the service or had a command. I got called into my boss’ office at Sill and put on the phone and asked if I had ever heard of you. When I said sure, that you and I were old buddies in fact, I got stuck on a plane so fast my ass is still catching up. I had just enough time to go home and pack a few uniforms and a civilian suit. Anna Lee told me to make sure to send her love and to give Marilyn a hug when I see her.”
I nodded. “That will be tonight. I’ll take you to the house. Listen, you don’t mind this? They yank you from whatever you’re doing to be my babysitter? You’re okay with that?”
“Carl, I am just trying to finish out my twenty before they heave my ass to the wolves. You know what’s happening to the Army. Half the Army is gone, and those of us left are just trying to survive. If you aren’t the reincarnation of George Patton, you get a ‘reduction in force’ notice and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. The only reason I’m still around is my combat experience in the ‘Sandpile’ a few years ago. They’ve been unloading some really good guys in job lot quantities!”
I grimaced and nodded in understanding. “And this is your choice? What the hell were you doing out at Sill, anyway?”
“Strategic planning and readiness. I write memos and doctrines that nobody will read and then file them in places nobody will remember. If I don’t find a new home here, I am probably gone in six months.”