And that night, after me and Myra were in bed-I guess a lot of marriages turn out like that, too. Bawling and accusations and mean talk: the woman taking it out on the man because he was too stupid to get away from her.
Or maybe I'm just kind of sour…
13
I got my horse and buggy out of the livery stable, and drove back to the courthouse. Myra was jumping on me, wanting to know what had took me so long, almost as soon as I was inside the door. And I said I'd had quite a time getting things straightened out with Amy.
"I don't see why," Myra said. "She seemed calm enough when she left here."
"Well, there's quite a few things you don't see," I said. "Like why you should keep Lennie in at night so we wouldn't have messes like this."
"Now, don't you start in on Lennie!"
"I tell you what I'd like to start," I said. "I'd like to start home with Rose, so maybe we could all get to bed sometime tonight."
Rose said yes, she really should be going, and she thanked Myra for the dinner and hugged her and kissed her good night. I went on downstairs ahead of her, before I got into another argument, and she came running down after a minute of two and got into the buggy.
"Ugh!" she said, scrubbing at her mouth. "Every time I kiss that old bitch I want to wash out my mouth."
"You ought to watch that cussing, Rose," I said. "It's liable to slip out sometime when you don't mean it to."
"Yeah, I guess I should, goddam it," she said. "It's Tom's fault, the dirty son-of-a-bitch, but I'm sure as hell going to do my best to stop it."
"That's my girl," I said. "I can see you ain't going to have no trouble."
We were outside of town by now, and Rose moved over in the seat to snuggle up against me. She kissed me on the back of my neck and she put a hand inside my pocket and sort of wiggled it around; and then she kind of moved away a little, and gave me a funny look.
"What's the matter, Nick?"
"What?" I said. "How's that, Rose?"
"I said, what's wrong with you?"
"Why, nothing," I said. "Course I'm kind of tired and wore out from all the excitement tonight, but there ain't nothing really wrong."
She stared at me, not saying anything. She turned around in the seat, facing straight ahead, and we rode in silence for a while. At last she spoke, in a voice so low I could hardly hear it, asking me a question. I went cold all over, and then I said, "For gosh's sake! What a thing to say! You know Amy Mason ain't that kind of woman, Rose! Everyone knows she ain't."
"What the hell you mean she's not that kind?" Rose snapped. "You mean she's too goddam good to go to bed with you, but I'm not?"
"I mean, I just ain't hardly acquainted with the woman!" I said. "I barely know her to tip my hat to."
"You were gone long enough tonight to get acquainted!"
"Aw, naw, I wasn't honey," I said. "It just seemed like a long time to you, like it did to me. You know. Because we were just waitin' to get together tonight, and it seemed like a heck of a long wait. Why, honey, I was just itchin' and achin' for you from the minute you showed up today."
"Well…" She moved over a little in the seat.
"Why, for gosh's sake," I said. "What for would I want with Amy Mason when I got you? Why, it just don't make sense, now does it? There just ain't no comparison between the two of you!"
Rose came all the way over in the seat. She leaned her head against my shoulder, and said she was sorry, but I had acted kind of strange, and it did make her so goddam mad the way some men were.
"That goddam Tom, for example! The son-of-a-bitch just wouldn't leave me alone until I gave in to him, and then he goes out and screws everything that can't outrun him!"
"Tsk, tsk," I said. "I just can't understand fellas like that."
Rose squeezed me and kissed me on the ear. She gave me a little nibble on the ear, and whispered to me. Talking about what-all she was going to do to me when we got to her house.
"Myra wants you to stay a while, and make sure I'm all right. Isn't that nice, mm? We can take our time, just you and me together for hours and hours. And, honey, we won't waste a minute of it!"
"Oh, boy," I said.
"It'll be like it never was before, darling!" She shivered against me. "Oh, honey, I'm going to be something special for you tonight!"
"Goll-ee," I said. "Goody, gosh-dang."
She went on whispering and shivering against me, saying that this was one night I'd never forget. I said I bet I wouldn't neither, and I meant every word of it. Because the way I was feeling, as hollow as a tree bark whistle and like my back was broken in six places, there wasn't going to be no party when we got to Rose's house. Which meant that she'd know she'd been right about Amy. Which also meant that she'd probably take that gun she'd got today and shoot me right through the offendin' part. And with a memento like that, I sure wouldn't forget the night.
I tried to think of some way of stalling her. I looked up at the sky, which was clouding over again for a rain, and I saw a streak or two of lightning, and I thought, well, maybe a bolt would strike me, coldcocking me for the night, so that Rose would excuse me. Then I thought, well, maybe the horse would run away and throw me into a bob-wire fence, and Rose would have to let me off then, too. Or maybe a water moccasin would climb up in the buggy and fang me. Or-
But nothing like that happened. A fella never gets lucky that way when he really needs to.
We reached the farm. I drove on into the barn, wondering how much it would handicap a fella having a hole where! was going to have one. It seemed to me it would mess him up pretty bad in the things he needed to do most, and I climbed down from the buggy, feeling mighty glum.
I helped Rose down, giving her a smack on the bottom by way of habit. Then, I bent down behind the splashboard to unhitch the singletree, and the horse was fidgeting and switching his tail and I was saying, "Sooo, boy, soo, now." And then I thought of an idea.
I gave the horse a goose and made him jump. I drove my shoulder against the splashboard, making a heck of a racket like the horse had kicked it. Then I jumped out in the clear again, groaning and clutching myself.
Rose came running up, clinging to me by one arm as I staggered around doubled over. "Oh, honey! Darling! Did that goddam nag kick you?"
"Right in the you-know-what," I groaned. "I never had nothin' hurt so bad in my life."
"Goddam him to hell, anyway! I'll get a pitchfork and gut the brindle bastard!"
"Naw, don't do nothin' like that," I said. "The horse didn't go to do it. Just help me get him hitched up again, so's I can get home."
"Home? You're not going anywhere in your condition," she said. "I'm taking you in the house, and don't you argue about it."
I said, but, looky, now, it wasn't necessary to go to all that trouble. "I'll just go home and lay down with some cold towels on it, and-"
"You'll lie down here, and we'll see about the towels after I see what the damage is. It might be you need something else."
"But, looky, looky here, now, honey," I said. "It's kind of private, a thing like that. It ain't hardly something a woman should deal with."