"No," Bombarelli tried to say but no sound came.
The only sound in the cellar was the thin man in the black shirt and the black chinos. He was softly whistling. He was whistling "Whistle While You Work."
He put a cluster of the lethal firecrackers around Bombarelli's neck and fastened them with tape. Then the looney had a piece of fuse, a long piece, and he was twisting it around the other fuses, wrapping it around the firecrackers, each of them the power of a third of a stick of dynamite, and he still whistled and smiled down at Bombarelli.
"Don't think about it, Bombarelli," he said. "There's no real why. It's just that every so often I do one like you. Kind of a Bum of the Month club." Remo dragged the fuse toward the cellar door. He dropped it on the floor and looked around in his pockets for a match. But he did not have one and came back to get one off the work bench, stepping casually over Bombarelli's body as he did.
"So long, Bombarelli," Remo said, as he struck a match and lit the long length of fuse. Then he was gone out into the darkness of the cellar. Bombarelli did not hear his footsteps going up the steps to the first floor, but he knew the man was leaving. All he could think of was the spark of the fuse, creeping its hissing way across the floor toward him, closer, closer, five feet, then four feet, then three feet, then closer and only inches, and then he heard the first blast and felt the heat, and then there was blast after blast, but the first one had provided all the pain to Bombarelli that his living body could register, and then the rest of the explosives went off and the cellar exploded in a flash of flame.
There was a cab stopped for a red light at the corner of Halsey Street. Remo waved at the cab. The cabbie pointed to his roof light; it was off, indicating that he was off-duty. Remo pulled open the locked door anyway.
"Hey," the driver said. "I'm off-duty."
"So am I," Remo said. "A hundred dollars if you get me to Manhattan without talking."
"Let's see the hundred."
Remo held it up.
"Okay. On to Manhattan," the driver said.
Remo nodded.
"How'd you open the door? It was locked."
"That's ninety," Remo said with a sigh.
Even though it was past midnight, Chiun was waiting for Remo when he entered the hotel room two blocks from New York's Central Park. The aged, wizened Korean sat in his blue kimono on a straw mat, staring at the door, as if he had waited there for hours for Remo's return.
"Did you bring them?" he asked. His voice was a high squeak with only two gears. Its range went from annoyance to outrage, with no steps in between.
"Bring what them?" Remo asked.
"I knew it," Chiun hissed. "I send you on a simple errand and you forget even what the errand was."
Remo snapped his fingers. "The chestnuts. I'm sorry, I forgot."
"I'm sorry. I forgot," Chiun mimicked. "I do not pay you to forget."
"You don't pay me at all, Little Father," Remo said.
"There are payments other than money," Chiun said. "All I ask for is a chestnut. A simple roasted chestnut."
"You asked for a pound, as I remember," Remo said.
"Nowyou remember. Just a few roasted chestnuts. To remind me of my childhood in the ancient village of Sinanju. And what do I get? 'I'm sorry. I forgot.' Remo, why do you think I even bother to come to this ugly city, except that they have chestnuts for sale on the street?"
"I'm sorry, already. Get off it. I'll get them tomorrow. All the chestnut salesmen have gone home by now and I had other things to do besides shop for you."
"If you really wanted to help, you would find where one lives and go there and get my chestnuts," Chiun said. He paused. "Your breathing was not correct tonight."
"How can you tell? It wasn't all that off."
"It does not have to be 'all that off,'" Chiun said. "The fall to death does not start with a dive. It starts with a slip."
Remo shrugged. "So the breathing wasn't perfect. You're not going to make me feel bad. I did some good things tonight."
"Oh?"
"Yes," Remo said.
"Did you send money to the poor and sick of my village?"
"No."
"Did you buy me some trinket to show your love for me"?
"No."
"I have it," Chiun said. He allowed his face to smile. It looked like a book, covered in yellow parchment, suddenly being opened. "Actually, you purchased for me the chestnuts and you are teasing me."
"No," Remo said.
"Pfaaaah," Chiun squeaked, turning away from Remo in disgust.
"I got rid of a lawyer who fronts for criminals. I freed a kidnap victim from a gang of revolutionary goons. And I got rid of a guy who peddles dangerous explosives to kids."
"And you call this good?" Chiun demanded. "Good is when you do something that helps the Master of Sinanju. That is good. Good is bringing me my simple chestnut. That is good. Bringing me Barbara Streisand would be even better but I would settle for a chestnut. Bringing gold and diamonds for my village is good. That is good. And what do you tell me is good? Something about a lawyer and a gang and a man who makes booms."
"Bombs," Remo said. "And getting rid of them was good and I don't care what you say."
"I know that," Chiun said. "That is exactly what is wrong with you."
"What I did was good and that means something, Chiun, and you know it. I used to think that what I did with CURE would improve America, then for a long time I didn't think it did. But it does. Maybe not the way I figured. Maybe I'm not going to stamp out crime and terrorism, but I'm stamping out some criminals and some terrorists and that's the next best thing. Not many people can claim to do even that much good."
"What you think is good is moral nonsense," Chiun said. "Chestnuts are good. Moving correctly is good. Not being sloppy is good. Breathing correctly is good. What does it matter who you practice on?"
Before Remo could answer, the telephone rang.
"That is Smith," Chiun said.
"He call before?"
"I presume so. Somebody called. But I do not answer telephones. Then a bell person came with a message and it was from Smith and said that he would call again."
"Thanks for the warning," Remo said.
He reached for the phone again.
"Remo?" Chiun said.
Remo turned. The old Oriental was smiling.
"Yes, Little Father," Remo said.
"If Smith is coming here, tell him to bring chestnuts."
Chapter three
Dr. Harold W. Smith's face exuded all the natural charm and sweetness of a clam. It was pinched and tight around the mouth and his eyes were cold and unblinking. His natural expression was lemon twist and if he had been older, he would remind people of the original John D. Rockefeller. Except, unlike Rockefeller, Harold W. Smith would never give away dimes to the starving poor. In a fit of rampant good will, he might have tried to find them jobs — working for somebody else.
He could make the overseer of a Peruvian tin mine look warm. He looked like the kind of man you would want representing you if you were trying to negotiate a contract with a publisher.
He sat in a straight-backed chair in the hotel room, facing Remo. Smith's gray suit was immaculately pressed and unwrinkled, as if it had been built out of fiberglass in a custom auto body shop. His shirt collar seemed a half size too small and was buttoned tightly, and the points were heavily starched. His Dartmouth regimental tie was so stiff it seemed made of ceramic.