“Is this the part where you tell me the sex sucked and it’s time to leave?” She only half teases. I can hear the apprehension in her voice. “Because if that’s the case then I’d rather leave without you saying it.” She tries to push herself away from me but I trap her with my arms.
“Hey, it’s nothing like that, I promise.” Did she really think I’d leave her after one night? Given my track record, I don’t blame her. All the more reason for us to have this conversation, so that she can see that I’m serious about her and about us. “Will you just trust me? Please.”
Hayley nods and settles her head on my chest again, her eyes on me. I shift back a little and rest my head against the headboard.
“I wanted to ask you about Ari,” I start, gauging her reaction carefully.
“What did you want to know?”
“Well for starters, is her father in the picture?” I ask. She looks away from me and I know it’s a sensitive topic, but if we’re going to do this, I need to know what I’m going into. Throwing a toddler into the mix does complicate things and I’d be lying if I said I had a clue what I’m doing.
Hayley lets out a breath, and replies, “No, he isn’t and I don’t think he ever will be.”
“What made you decide to keep her?”
Hayley’s eyes glaze over and I feel guilty for bringing it up. “It’s okay,” I tell her. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine, I just haven’t spoken to anyone about it in a really long time.”
Her fingers start tracing invisible patterns on my skin and I lay silent, just watching her.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I was already with my grandmother. I left a lot of bad decisions behind when I left home, and I didn’t want having an abortion to be another one. So, my grandmother and I agreed it would be best to see the pregnancy through and then give the baby up for adoption before my parents had the chance to find out.” I watch the way her lips move, hypnotized by the sound of her voice. “But when I heard her heartbeat for the first time, I - I...” Hayley stutters and I start to rub soothing circles on her bare thighs. She swallows and manages to gather some composure before continuing. “I knew there was no way I could give her away. I realized then that after a string of bad choices, and irresponsible decisions, keeping her would be the one thing, the one decision I got right. She was my second chance. I remember thinking that I wasn’t ready to be a mom, but then I held her for the first time and it all changed. The way she looked at me, it was like she knew who I was and I couldn’t bare the thought of another woman getting to share her life with my baby. She was mine and I was hers…”
Hayley tells me the story about the day Ari was born and how she almost died. She tells me how scared she was of losing Ari and how she didn’t know if her life could continue without her. I devour every word, the way she says it, how she feels when the words come out of her mouth, the way her eyes glaze over and shine with a mother’s pride. Looking at her, only one word comes to mind. So I sit up, bringing us chest-to-chest and nose-to-nose.
“Remarkable,” I say quietly. “And brave. My brave girl.”
I place a feather light kiss on her lips and feel her shudder in my arms. She pulls away, her green eyes wide and open. “Now can I ask you something?”
I nod. There’s nothing I don’t want her to know.
“What made you change your mind? About us?”
I smile, thinking about the conversation I had with my sister a little less than a week ago. “My sister.”
Hayley frowns and I kiss the spot between her brows. She looks too damn cute when she scrunches her face like that. “Your sister?” she says incredulously.
“Hmmm hmmmm.” I kiss a trail down her neck. I love the way her skin smells, and tastes. I feel like I’m marking her. Mine.
Her fingers slide though my hair and she pulls, hard. “Cameron…”
“Okay, okay,” I sigh. “I spoke to my sister the morning before I came to your house, and she asked me if you having Ari changed how I feel about you,” I pause. “And the answer was, and always will be ‘no’. Nothing will change how I feel about you, Hayley.”
Hayley’s mouth hovers over mine. “Not even my morning breath,” she teases.
I chuckle. “Nope, not even your morning breath can scare me away.”
Hayley seals her lips over mine and our hands wander and explore each other's bodies. I hold her hips and pull her as close to me as possible, until we feel like one person. I’m about to slip my hands into the back of her lace panties when the sound of her stomach rumbling stops us. We break apart and stare at each other. Her stomach grumbles again a few seconds later and she breaks into a fit of giggles.
“Someone must be hungry.” I kiss her nose.
“You tired me out last night,” she smiles shyly. “Now I need you to feed me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“But, I need to go to the bathroom first.” Hayley jumps off the bed and runs into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. When she comes out, I surprise her by grabbing her legs and throwing her over my shoulder. I slap her butt.
“Ow,” she yelps. Her hands travel down my back and into my boxer briefs. She squeezes, kneading my butt while I walk. She doesn’t play fair and if I wasn’t halfway down our staircase, I would’ve taken her on the hardwood floor in the hallway. That’s how crazy she makes me.
I plant her firmly on the kitchen counter and stand between her legs.
“What would my girl like for breakfast,” I ask. I start nibbling on her neck and she shivers. Shit, I didn’t realize how cold it was in the kitchen.
“Hold that thought,” I tell her. I race back upstairs and grab two hoodies. I grin like an idiot when it swallows Hayley and comes down to her knees. It’s official, I love seeing her in my clothes.
“Now where were we?”
Hayley smiles and leans her face closer to mine. “I think,” she kisses me on the side of my mouth. “We were,” she kisses the other side. “Here,” her lips brush mine and I’m tempted to take it so much further, but I doubt my mother will be happy with us having sex on her kitchen counters.
“I asked you what you wanted for breakfast?” The look in her eyes is screaming that she wants me and I have to use every molecule in my body to resist giving her what she wants. We don’t have enough time for me to do to her what I want to, to savor her body and every curve on it.
“Uh….” Her eyebrows scrunch as she thinks it over. Clearly, this is too difficult a question for this time of the morning.
“Waffles?” I suggest.
“Sounds delicious.”
I turn around and Hayley swats my butt. I give her a playful glare before resuming my waffle-making duties. At some point, while I’m mixing the ingredients and warming up our waffle maker, Hayley’s hands slide around my waist and her head rests between my shoulders. We stand there quietly and enjoy the moment. I silently hope there will be more moments like this in our near future, and more moments where I get to please her, give her what she needs. Part of me worries that we’ve rushed it, but I remind myself how crazy I went during those weeks that we were supposed to be friends. Did we move a little fast with the sex? I don’t know how to answer that when being with her that way felt so incredibly right. Being with her, whether it’s intimately, or just standing together in my kitchen with her against me, brings me a profound sense of peace. I haven’t had that feeling in two years and something inside me clings to it with Hayley around, like I need it to breathe.
I pull into our driveway and cut the ignition, stealing a glance at Hayley. She tugs her jacket nervously and put my hand on both of hers to stop them from fidgeting. “Will you stop fidgeting?” I admonish. “My mom and Candice will both love you, and Ari.”