“Han, what happened between you and Noah? You guys have never been so nasty towards each other before.”
She shakes her head. “We had a fight earlier, at the swim meet, but I’ll tell you about it another time. Maybe we can do coffee tomorrow? Plan our Christmas day and all that?”
“Of course.” I hug her and she squeezes me a little harder than usual. “Call me tomorrow morning.”
She nods and climbs into her car, which is parked next to mine. I wave goodbye as she drives away and then make my way home.
When I stop in the driveway of my grandmother’s house, I frown when I spot the black town car parked on the curb. It’s a little strange, and out of place. Thinking nothing of it, I walk up the porch steps and open the front door. “Gama, I’m home!”
I throw my bag down and take my jacket off before searching for my grandmother and Ari.
My footsteps halt when I reach the threshold of the living room, wishing I wasn’t seeing what was right in front of me. Or rather who is right in front of me.
My father.
“There you are, sweetheart,” my grandmother says, standing up from the sofa. I can see by the look on her face that she’s relieved to see me. “I was wondering when you’d be home.”
“What are you doing here?” I ask. My happiness from earlier slowly seeps out of my body and I feel my face contort into a scowl, directed at the man in front of me.
“I came to see you,” my father replies. He diverts his eyes to the floor. Coward.
“What for?” My question comes out harsh and louder than I intended.
“Now, honey,” my grandmother interrupts. “Please, calm down and lower your voice.” Her head tilts to the side and the reason for her request sinks in. Ari is probably asleep upstairs and if I had to raise my voice I’d wake her up. And given that my father doesn’t know about her, I’m guessing it wouldn’t go down very well. Talk about an awkward family reunion.
“Sorry, Gama.” I look at my father, noting how his face is more drawn than it used to be, and how his hair has not only grayed a little more, but it has also thinned. The last two years certainly haven’t been kind to him. My chest constricts. I’ve missed him. So much. But I had to learn to live without him and my mother after I was labeled as not only a disgrace to our family, but also a common whore in our community.
“Well? What are you doing here?” I ask again, biting back the anger and resentment that have suddenly risen after being dormant for so long. It tastes like acid, burning its way up my throat and into my mouth.
My father sighs. “Hayley bear - ”
“Don’t you dare call me that. You lost that right two years ago.”
His face drops. “I needed to come see you, and make sure you were doing okay.”
“I haven’t heard a damn thing from you in two years,” I grind out. “Why would you start giving a shit about me now?”
“Hayley Tanner,” my grandmother chides next to me. “Watch your tone.”
“Are you kidding me, Gama? You’re defending him?”
She shakes her head. “No, Hayley, but he’s still your father and you don’t need to be disrespectful. That’s not what I have taught you.”
Her eyes meet mine and I can see her own anger and sadness fighting to stay hidden. She has gone through everything I have, right alongside me, after all. “And I think you should hear what he has to say.”
She ushers me to the sofa. “Now, take a seat, and I’ll go make some tea. Try not to kill you father while I’m gone.”
When she’s gone, the silence between my father and me is deafening, and he shifts uncomfortably. Good. I hope he feels so uncomfortable that he’ll leave.
He starts to speak and I curse my bad luck.
“I know I haven’t been around - ”
I snort. “Abandoning your only child when she needs you the most isn’t simply ‘not being around’, dad.”
He pulls his hands through his hair and I guess that’s what has made his hair thin. He must do it a lot.
He lifts his head and finally looks at me, a look of exasperation and regret on his tired face. “I’m sorry, Hayley. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have just left you to fend for yourself.”
“But you did. You cast me aside like the common whore everyone accused me of being.”
“What did you expect? There was a video of you, Hayley - ”
I put my hand up to silence him. “I know. I had to live with it, remember? All the gossip at school, all the bullying until graduation? I lived through all of that, and where were you? Drinking away your sorrows while mom continued to screw every single one of your business partners.”
“It was a hard time for all of us,” he says, his voice low.
“You have got to be kidding me right now!” I throw my arms up. “You have no idea what hell I went through after that damn video was sent to everyone at school. So don’t you dare expect me to feel sorry for you.” My throat thickens and I can feel my anger rise to tears that threaten to spill over onto my cheeks. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, I chant silently in my head. But I know it’s no use. The angry tears spill and I wipe them away furiously.
My grandmother comes in with a tray and places it on the table.
My father looks away. “I never stopped thinking about you, Hayley, and I never stopped caring either.”
“Then where have you been for the last two years?” I yell. “Why has it taken you so long to come find me?”
My father exchanges a look with my grandmother and she gives the slightest shake of her head. I wasn’t meant to see it, but I did, and now I know they’re hiding something.
“What is it?” I demand, my head darting between the two of them. “What are you not telling me?”
“Jefferson,” my grandmother warns.
“You didn’t tell her?” my father asks incredulously.
“Tell me what? What the fuck is going on?”
My grandmother is too busy glaring at my father to notice my fowl language. Not that I care right now.
“Hayley,” my father sighs. “I’ve known where you are from the first day you arrived here. I’ve been sending your grandmother money to make sure you’re taken care of.”
I gape at them. What? “Is he telling the truth?” The question is directed at my grandmother and she nods.
“Yes, sweetheart, it’s the truth. I called him the day you showed up on my front porch and told him you were here.”
“Did you tell him about…” my words trail off but my grandmother knows what I’m asking. Did she tell him about Ari? She shakes her head. No.
“Tell me about what?”
Shit. Now I’ve really stuck my foot in it.
“Nothing,” I reply. “It’s nothing.”
“Jefferson, tell Hayley why you’re really here.” My father looks at my grandmother and then back at me.
“Your mother and I,” he swallows hard, “are getting a divorce. I’m leaving her.”
“Why now? Why not years ago when she had her first affair?”
“Because, some new information has come to light, and that’s another reason why I came.”
Great. Like this conversation needs any more enlightenment.
I give him my best ‘hurry up and get on with it’ expression and wait for him to continue.
“Her last affair was just before that video of you and that Kyle kid came out, and it was with another one of my business associates. Apparently, his daughter went to school with you.”
“What does that have to do with me and mom's affair?”
My grandmother takes a seat next to me and holds my hand, and I know I’m not going to like whatever my father is about to tell me.