‘No…Please…I have to go…’
Silence.
Then, very slowly as if acknowledging some absolute truth, Niall Mountmarche nodded.
‘You do.’ Niall looked at his wrist-watch and gave a rueful smile. ‘Your responsibilities await, my lovely Jessie. But wherever you go, know that your heart rests here.’
He didn’t touch her again. Jess stood stock still, staring up at him with frightened eyes.
Did she dare trust?
Dear heaven…
‘I have to go,’ she whispered again and, with a sob of panic, she turned and fled.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT WAS a strange and stressful week.
Jessie’s working world had changed dramatically.
The little hospital seemed to come alive. It was as if it had been hibernating-waiting. Niall Mountmarche’s presence was everywhere.
The nurses thought Dr Mountmarche wonderful-and so did the islanders. They arrived at the clinic in droves, driven more by curiosity than ill health, and Niall found himself booked solid.
‘What on earth have you got me into?’ he laughed at Jess as they passed in the corridor toward the end of the week-and Jess flinched.
‘I’m sorry…I never meant…’
‘To drag me or my daughter out of hibernation?’ He barred her passage and laughed down into her tense face. ‘Liar. You’ve lost the island its ogre.’
‘I’m…’
Her voice faded. This man made her feel totally inept.
‘How’s Matilda?’ Niall’s smile faded.
‘Not…not good.’ Jess took a deep breath. She was behaving like a nervous kid-and, for heaven’s sake, this man was a medical colleague. ‘I think we’re losing the battle.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Niall said gently and his eyes told her that his words weren’t just a platitude. He knew how much Matilda meant to the Benns.
‘She’s still standing,’ Jess told him, her voice unconsciously forlorn, ‘but…’
‘But?’
She shrugged. ‘It’s a big “but”.’ She hesitated. The thought of Matilda as she’d last seen her depressed her unutterably.
Try another topic.
‘Wasn’t Paige meant to be with me this afternoon?’ The informal arrangement was that Paige would spend most of her days with Jess but more and more the child was immersing herself in hospital life. At any given time she could be with one of the nurses or making biscuits with Cook or chatting to the hospital gardener. As long as she knew where Jess and Niall were the little girl seemed content.
‘Listen for the giggles and you’ll find her,’ Niall smiled. ‘If it wasn’t for my daughter I’d be cursing your interference but…’
‘A happier “but”?’ Jess asked and smiled.
‘A happier “but”. Jessie, I’d like you to come to the vineyard for dinner tonight.’
‘I’m busy.’
‘Doing?’
‘Doing what I need to do,’ Jess snapped. She took a deep breath. ‘Dr Mountmarche, my little animals need feeding and I have to go back out to the Benns.’
‘Ask Geraldine’s daughter to feed your babies.’
‘I might have to, anyway,’ Jess admitted. ‘Matilda’s really getting worse. Tonight…’
‘Could be the end?’ Niall’s eyes showed concern. ‘That bad, Jess?’
‘That bad.’
‘Would you like me to come with you?’
‘No.’ Jess shook her head. ‘I can cope alone.’
‘You always do-but you don’t have to.’
‘Yes, I do,’ Jessie said blankly. ‘Now…If you’ll excuse me…’
‘Let me close, Jess,’ Niall said softly and it was as much as Jessie could do not to burst into tears.
‘N-no,’ she managed again-but only just-and turned and walked in the opposite direction.
Niall couldn’t have helped.
Jess tried to make her confused mind get things straight as she drove out to the Benns.
Niall Mountmarche was laying siege to her heart. Somehow he’d penetrated the armour she’d so carefully built in the year since she’d been betrayed and nearly killed by John Talbot. Just by looking at her, Niall Mountmarche could pierce her shell-like armour.
The shell was a fragile protection.
So…
So grow thicker armour, she snapped to herself savagely as she drove into the night. Or run…
There’s nowhere to run.
You could leave the island.
Some things were unthinkable.
‘I can’t face it.’
There was more than one thing that was unthinkable.
Jess faced Ray Benn with a heavy heart. The man had been waiting for her. He swung back the gate and, as she emerged from the car, Jess saw his broad face was streaked with tears.
‘She’s down, Jess…Her legs just folded on her a couple of hours ago. I can’t…I dunno…I just can’t bear to watch. She’s suffered enough.’
Jess put a gentle hand on his shoulder. ‘I’ll do what I must, Ray,’ she told him. ‘You wait inside.’
There was little enough to do. Jess knelt in the stall with the ailing mare and ran her hand along the trembling flank. This was a cruel way for a horse to end her days-all for want of simple vaccination.
There was nothing Jess could do to save her now. Once a horse this ill was down…
She gave the injection fast and Matilda died quietly on the straw.
It was over…
Jess walked slowly back into the house and found the family in tears. The whole family. Mum, Dad and six children. Even the baby was wailing, though Jess wouldn’t mind betting that he didn’t know what for.
‘I’ll arrange for someone to collect Matilda’s body in the morning,’ she said helplessly and set off a fresh paroxysm of sobs.
‘We’ll bury her here, lass,’ Ray told her through choked-back tears. ‘This is her home.’
There was nothing more for Jessie to do. Helplessly she packed her bags and beat a retreat. Ray followed her out to the car.
‘You know what’s really getting me?’ he said. ‘We didn’t keep any of her foals. The last foal she had was a little beauty. The kids begged me to keep her-but horses cost money and I said no. Now I wish…’ He rubbed a grimy hand across wet cheeks and sniffed. ‘Eh, well…’
If the other fishermen could see Ray Benn now they’d be astounded, Jess thought as she retired back into her little car. A tough male-with a marshmallow middle.
It was enough to make her want to weep herself.
The death of the mare stayed with her all the way home. The hospital was quiet. Frank had taken Harry home that morning. Niall had admitted a child with asthma but Geraldine was coping competently-and by the sound of it the child slept.
Niall and Paige must have gone back to the vineyard.
Jess fed her little animals, then sat on the floor and talked to them for a while. Bed seemed unutterably lonely.
Ten o’clock on a Friday night.
Nothing in front of her but lonely bed.
Don’t be so stupid, she told herself savagely. Nothing but bed! What else do you want, for heaven’s sake? Someone to share your bed with you? You have to be crazy.
She was definitely crazy.
Yes! her heart was screaming for all it was worth. That’s exactly what she wanted. Someone to share…
Someone?
She wanted Niall.
Jess went drearily to bed but she couldn’t sleep,
If she’d accepted Niall Mountmarche’s invitation she could be out at the vineyard right this minute, drinking coffee by the fire and watching Niall Mountmarche smile…
‘You’re a stupid, senseless twit,’ she said savagely into the night and it was as much as Jess could do not to burst into tears like the Benns.
The phone rang an hour after she turned off her lights.
Jess groped in the darkness for the phone, swore as she knocked over the lamp and had to fumble on the floor for the light switch. She finally picked up the receiver on the tenth ring.
‘Yes?’
‘Problem, Jess.’ It was the clipped voice of Sergeant Russell.