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I am winning friends and influencing people everywhere I go today. Kenny just asked me...

Tuesday, October 28, 6 p.m., On the way back to the loft from Grandmère’s

What with all the backlash about my interview onTwentyFour/Seven, I completely forgot...

Tuesday, October 28, 10 p.m., The loft

Well, it happened. The impending disaster is now officially areal disaster.

Tuesday, October 28, 11 p.m.

Another e-mail from Jo-C-rox!

This one said...

Wednesday, October 29, English

Well, one thing is for sure:

Having a guy like my cousin Hank follow you around

Wednesday, October 29, G & T

I don’t believe this. I really don’t.

Lilly and Hank are missing.

Wednesday, October 29, World Civ

Still no sign of them.

Wednesday, October 29, Bio

Still nothing.

Wednesday, October 29, Algebra Review

Lars says he thinks it would be precipitous at this point to call the police.

Wednesday, October 29, 7 p.m.

It’s all right. They’re safe.

Apparently, Hank got back to the hotel around five...

Wednesday, October 29, 10 p.m.

Okay, so I was just casually flipping through the channels, you know, taking a little study break...

Thursday, October 30, English

Hank didn’t come to school with me today. He called first thing this morning and said he wasn’t feeling...

Thursday, October 30, World Civ

THINGS TO DO BEFORE MR. G. MOVES IN

1. Vacuum

Thursday, October 30, G & T

I don’t believe this.

They’ve done it again.

Thursday, October 30, 7 p.m., Limo back to the loft

Another huge shock. If my life continues along this roller-coaster course, I may have to seek...

More Thursday, October 30, 9 p.m.

Well, Mr. Gianini is all moved in. I have already played nine games of foozball.

Friday, October 31, Homeroom

I woke with the strangest feeling of foreboding. I couldn’t figure out why for a few minutes.

Friday, October 31, Algebra

Mr. Gianini is not here today. Instead, we have a substitute teacher named Mrs. Krakowski.

Friday, October 31, G & T

Okay.

I will never underestimate Lilly Moscovitz again.

Friday, October 31, French

I borrowed Lars’s cell phone and called the SoHo Grand between lunch and fifth period.

Friday, October 31, 9 p.m.

I am in shock. I really am.

Not because my mom and my Algebra teacher...

Saturday, November 1, 2 p.m.

The evening wasn’t a total bust.

Quite a few people seemed to have a very good time.

About the Author

Other Books by Megan Cabot

Credits

About the Publisher

Copyright

 

Monday, October 20,8 a.m.

 

     Okay. So I was just in the kitchen, eating cereal, you know, the usual Monday morning routine, when my mom comes out of the bathroom with this funny look on her face. I mean, she was all pale and her hair was kind of sticking out and she had on her terry cloth robe instead of her kimono, which usually means she’s premenstrual.

     So I said, “Mom, you want some Midol? Because, no offense, you look like you could use some.”

     Which is sort of a dangerous thing to say to a premenstrual woman, but you know, she’s my mom, and all. It’s not like she was going to karate chop me, the way she would if anybody else said that to her.

     But she just said, “No. No, thanks,” in this dazed voice.

     So then I assumed something really horrible had happened. You know, like Fat Louie had eaten another sock, or they were cutting off our electricity again because I’d forgotten to fish the bill out of the salad bowl where Mom keeps stuffing them.

     So I grabbed her and I was like, “Mom? Mom, what is it? What’s wrong?”

     She sort of shook her head, like she does when she’s confused over the microwave instructions on a frozen pizza. “Mia,” she said, in this shocked but happy way, “Mia. I’m pregnant.”

     Oh, my God. OH, MY GOD.

     My mom is having my Algebra teacher’s baby.

 

Monday, October 20, Homeroom

 

     I am really trying to take this calmly, you know? Because there isn’t any point in getting upset about it.

     But how can INOT be upset? My mother is about to become a single parent.AGAIN.

     You would think she’d have learned a lesson with me and all, but apparently not.

     As if I don’t have enough problems. As if my life isn’t over already. I just don’t see how much more I can be expected to take. I mean, apparently, it is not enough that

 

1. I am the tallest girl in the freshman class.

2. I am also the least endowed in the chest area.

3. Last month, I found out my mother has been dating my Algebra teacher.

4. Also last month, I found out that I am the sole heir to the throne of a small European country.

5. I have to take princess lessons from my paternal grandmother.Every day.

6. In December, I am supposed to be introduced to my new countrymen and women on national television (in Genovia, population 50,000, but still).

7. I don’t have a boyfriend.

     Oh, no. You see, all of that isn’t enough of a burden, apparently. Now my mother has to get pregnant out of wedlock.AGAIN.

     Thanks, Mom. Thanks a whole lot.

 

Monday, October 20, Still Homeroom

 

     And whatabout that? Why weren’t she and Mr. Gianini using birth control? Could someone please explain that to me? Whatever happened to her diaphragm? I know she has one. I found it once in the shower when I was a little kid. I took it and used it as a birdbath for my Barbie townhouse for a few weeks, until my mom finally found out and took it away.