I thought you were going to write a screenplay of your life and Lilly was going to direct it.
Yeah, but what have I done in my LIFE that will make the screenplay meaningful? Like, I haven’t saved hundreds of Jews from annihilation by the Nazi scourge, or gone blind and yet gone on to write beautiful music.
I think holding yourself to the standards set by Oskar Schindler and Stevie Wonder is a bit unrealistic.
But don’t you see? MICHAEL is setting that kind of standard.
But Michael loves you, just the way you are! So what are you worried about? You can be a great person just for being a good friend or a terrific writer or humorous to be around, you know.
I guess. It’s just that he’s probably going to be meeting a lot of brilliant, beautiful girls in Japan, and how do I know he’s not going to fall for one of THEM?
He’s probably met lots of brilliant, beautiful girls at Columbia, and he hasn’t fallen for any of them, has he?
Well, no. But that’s just because, even though they’re all brilliant, they all look like Judith Gershner.
Who’s Judith Gershner?
She’s this girl who used to go here who could clone fruit flies and who I thought Michael liked and—You know what? Never mind. You’re right. I’m being ridiculous.
I didn’t say you were being ridiculous. I said you were being too hard on yourself. You’re a great person, and if in the unlikely event Michael were ever to imply otherwise, I will happily kick his ass for you.
Ha. Thanks. But that’s what I have Lars for.
Mia: Not to be a jerk, but if you want to pass this class, you’d better stop passing notes with J.P. and pay attention. I know I’m your lab partner, but I’m not taking up the slack if you start to fall behind.
Okay, Kenny. Sorry. You’re right.
BUSTED!!!!
Shut up, you’re making me laugh!!!!!!!!! I’m paying attention now.
Archimedes’ Principle: volume of a solid is equal to the volume of water it displaces.
Densities of typical solids and liquids in g/ml
Substance
Density
Gasoline
0.68
Ice
0.92
Water
1.00
Salt
2.16
Iron
7.86
Lead
11.38
Mercury
13.55
Gold
19.3
I realize Chemistry is important, you know, in our daily lives and everything. But seriously. What possible use is knowing the density of gasoline going to be in my future capacity as ruler of Genovia?
Wednesday, September 8, Precalc
Composite function = combination of 2 functionsf (g(x)) does NOT =g (f(x))
A relation is any collection of points on thex-y coordinate system
Constant function = horizontal line
Horizontal line has 0 slope
Oh.
My.
God.
This.
Is.
So.
Boring.
HOMEWORK
Homeroom: n/a
Intro to Creative Writing: Describe a person who you know
English:Franny and Zooey
French: Continuedécrire un soir amusant avec les amis
G & T: n/a
PE: n/a
Chemistry: Whatever, Kenny will tell me Precalculus:??????
Wednesday, September 8, the limo on the way home from the Ritz-Carlton
When I walked into Grandmère’s suite at the Ritz today (the W was apparently so unsatisfactory, she only stayed one night), I was totally shocked to find my father there.
I’d forgotten he was coming into town for the UN’s General Assembly.
Andhe ’d apparently forgotten that it’s never a good idea to drop by to see Grandmère before cocktail hour (she’s been told by her physician that she can’t have any more three-Sidecar luncheons if she doesn’t want her angina acting up) because she is more than a little cranky.
“Look at this!” she was saying, as she shook a pillow in my dad’s face. “Mere seven-hundred-threadcount sheets! It’s scandalous! No wonder Rommel has a rash!”
“Rommel always has a rash,” my dad said tiredly. Then he noticed I’d come in, and he said, “Hi, honey. Long time no—What happened to your hair?”
I didn’t even bother getting offended. Having your boyfriend announce he’s moving to Japan has a way of causing you to get your priorities straight.
“I got it cut,” I said. “I don’t care if you don’t like it. I don’t have to mess with it anymore, and that’s all that matters. To me, anyway.”
“Oh,” Dad said. “It’s, uh. Cute. What’s the matter?”
“What? Nothing.”
“Something’s the matter, Mia. I can tell.”
“It’s really nothing,” I assured him. Just the knowledge that all my parents have to do is look at my face and know something is wrong made me realize how very much I must actually be hurting by this Michael thing. Because I’m TRYING to hide it. I really am. For Michael’s sake. Because I know I should be excited and happy for him.
And I AM excited and happy for him.
Except for the part where I’m weeping. On the inside.
“Are you listening to me, Phillipe?” Grandmère was demanding. “You know Rommel requires eight-hundred-threadcount sheetsat the very least .”
Dad sighed. “I’ll have some thousand-count sheets sent over from Bergdorf’s, all right? Mia, I know something’s wrong. What’s your mother done now? Got arrested at another one of her war protests? I’vetold her to stop chaining herself to things.”
“It’s notMom ,” I said, throwing myself onto a brocade-covered chaise lounge. “She hasn’t chained herself to anything inyears .”
“Well, she’s a very…unpredictable woman,” my dad said. Which is his way of saying, as nicely as possible, that Mom is flighty and irresponsible about a lot of things. But not her kids. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. It’s nothing to do with Frank, is it? The two of them are getting along all right? It’s very stressful having a new baby in the house. Or so I hear.”
I rolled my eyes. My dad always wants the scoop on what’s going on with Mom and Mr. Gianini. Which is sort of hilarious, because there’s never actually anything going on with them. Unless you mean their fights over what to watch at breakfast, CNN (Mr. G) or MTV (Mom). Mom can’t stand politics first thing in the morning. She prefers Panic! At the Disco.
“It isn’t just the sheets, Phillipe,” Grandmère was going on. “Do you realize the televisions in the rooms of this hotel are onlytwenty-seven inches wide?”
“You say there’s nothing on American television but filth and violence,” my dad said, staring at his mother in astonishment.
“Well, yes,” Grandmère said. “There is. Except forJudge Judy .”
“It’s just…everything,” I said, ignoring Grandmère. Because Dad was now ignoring her, too. “It’s only two days into the semester, and it’s already my worst one ever. Ms. Martinez stuck me in Intro to Creative Writing. Intro stands for INTRODUCTION. I don’t need to be introduced to creative writing. I eat, sleep, and breathe creative writing. And don’t even get me started on Chemistry and Precalculus. But the worst is…well, it’s Michael.”
Dad didn’t look surprised to hear this. In fact, he looked pleased.
“Well, now, Mia, I hate to tell you this but…I suspected this might be coming. Michael’s in college now, and you’re still in high school, and you have to spend a lot of time on your royal duties and in Genovia, and you can’t expect a young man in his prime to simply wait around for you. It’s natural that Michael might find a young lady closer to his own age who actually has the time to spend doing the kinds of things college-age kids do—things that are simply not appropriate for a high-school aged princess to take part in.”